The first step towards a bias-free sosuave

[everywomanshero]

Looking around at the many distorted views of reality on sosuave, most of them seem to be unhealthy views.. "Girls only want guapo y rico men" "only men over 6' get laid" "Women are all b1tches" etc. You don't have to search far to find these things.

I am going to address the biggest cause of these distorted views in this post. Unfortunately, the guys who need this information the most, will be the first to reject it...


Fundamental Attribution Error AKA Correspondent Bias = That we tend to over-attribute the behavior of others to personal disposition, and that we tend to over-attribute our own actions to situations. This is especially true in the United States. Think about this for a few moments.

Now, are a;; women really b1tches? Was it really personal disposition that caused that 3rd grader to act out scaring you for life? Is it even possible situational or other factors could have been at play? Is the reason you have no friends really due to your parents, job, or whatever excuse you have really the problem? Is it even possible there could be a dispositional problem that needs corrected?

Seriously, I hope you guys will spend just 5 minutes considering this and how it applies to your life. This is just one step of a whole program of steps I've put myself through lately. If this helps you, please post and let me know. If this works for people other than myself, I'll introduce further steps to removing biases.

 

[thickandcreamy]

The main problem with this board is that the vast majority of people posting are sexually inexperienced boys. I learned more in two weeks of approaches than in two months of reading posts here.

Funny thing is, I NEVER see field reports on this board. Even from people who have posted hundreds or even thousands of times!

T 'n C

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Is the reason you have no friends really due to your parents, job, or whatever excuse you have really the problem? Is it even possible there could be a dispositional problem that needs corrected?

Seriously, I hope you guys will spend just 5 minutes considering this and how it applies to your life. This is just one step of a whole program of steps I've put myself through lately. If this helps you, please post and let me know. If this works for people other than myself, I'll introduce further steps to removing biases.

On my Jedi Bootcamp thread there were many people saying that I should 'move out' of my parents house and find a better job - and attributed the lack of those elements as having a detrimental effect to my inner game.

You are saying these could be biases?

 

[belividere]

Very strong post. These are some of the very reasons that people on here will never grow, or at least never admit to.

There is a huge lack of personal resposibility in western culture, a twisted self-perception, and an attitude of immediate gratification.

I've been struggling trying to figure out now for years whether this stems from a disconnect from society, a lack of a confluent society, or an illusion of self-importance.

On one hand I can understand the feelings associated with failures or successes, but their is the over-personalization attitude (one which places so much important on ego and the self that they feel their experiences are all knowing and always correct) that is so difficult to overcome.

I would definetly like to read what your other self-realizations have been if you have the time to share them.

 

[everywomanshero]

On my Jedi Bootcamp thread there were many people saying that I should 'move out' of my parents house and find a better job - and attributed the lack of those elements as having a detrimental effect to my inner game.

You are saying these could be biases?

It's not so much that, as something like this:

You get shot down by a blonde.

You assume you were shot down because 'shes a b1tch'
-People tend to associate behaviors of other people to personal disposition (basically to her character).

Now, imagine yourself ten years from now. Your wife is in the washroom. A blonde hits on you, and you get rid of her because your wife found out about your torrid love affairs the night before.
- Clearly situations beyond the blonde's knowledge were at play. If she made a character asumption of you based on that experience, she'd likely be biased.

You fail a test and blame your noisey neighbor for keeping you up.
-People tend to situationalize (blame external forces) to explain their own behavior (in this case doing poorly on a test).

In your example, it would be more like people making all kinds of assumptions about your personal character ie. you're mentally weak, you're anti-social, etc based on your behavior of living with parents. Whereas you (or most people in general) would tend to see more situational causes. Both can be a bias. What we hope for is the raise awareness of these biased views.

There are reasons why this bias occurs. I will explain in a couple weeks more, but one of the big reasons why is because of heuristics (mental schemas/shortcuts).

There is also something called represenitive heuristic along these same lines. Basically, it means we tend to associate people with a group if they seem like a typical member of that group. For example, I used blonde a lot above. This wasn't without reason. I have heard some patterns like "rich, blonde chicks are b1tches"... Now, if someone uses this representive heuristic when he enters a bar, he has already associated blonde women who dress a certain way (for example) with being a member of the b1tch group. This launches a self-fuffiling prophecy. Basically, his actions and behaviors will change in small ways towards her that will make her less likely to respond positively, thus it seems to confirm the representive heuristic's accuracy. This kind of cycle can be very, very convincing and difficult to break.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's not so much that, as something like this:

You get shot down by a blonde.

You assume you were shot down because 'shes a b1tch'
-People tend to associate behaviors of other people to personal disposition (basically to her character).

Now, imagine yourself ten years from now. Your wife is in the washroom. A blonde hits on you, and you get rid of her because your wife found out about your torrid love affairs the night before.
- Clearly situations beyond the blonde's knowledge were at play. If she made a character asumption of you based on that experience, she'd likely be biased.

You fail a test and blame your noisey neighbor for keeping you up.
-People tend to situationalize (blame external forces) to explain their own behavior (in this case doing poorly on a test).

In your example, it would be more like people making all kinds of assumptions about your personal character ie. you're mentally weak, you're anti-social, etc based on your behavior of living with parents. Whereas you (or most people in general) would tend to see more situational causes. Both can be a bias. What we hope for is the raise awareness of these biased views.

There is a reason why these bias occur. I will explain in a couple weeks the reason why but if you want to study a head it is because of heuristics (mental schemas/shortcuts).

I'll just add that the mind will make a justification for any experience (no matter how unrealistic that justification may be). This justification creates the person's reality. Unless the person is capable and receptive to formulating other possibilities of their justifications, they are doomed to believe and only understand their initial justification.

Feel free to apply this premise to the reasoning behind many of the posts (rants) in this forum.

 

[blinkwatt]

I'll just add that the mind will make a justification for any experience (no matter how unrealistic that justification may be). This justification creates the person's reality. Unless the person is capable and receptive to formulating other possibilities of their justifications, they are doomed to believe and only understand their initial justification.

Bingo! Many people do not like the fact that they will not succeed with every women,so they find excusses for their short coming. People must learn to accept their short comings and move on.

 

[DonJuanForever]

Thick and Creamy said,

"The main problem with this board is that the vast majority of people posting are sexually inexperienced boys. I learned more in two weeks of approaches than in two months of reading posts here."

Listen, I'll send you a $100 check if you say that just ONE MORE TIME, and type it in ALL CAPS.

- John

 

[SamePendo]

"THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH THIS BOARD IS THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE POSTING ARE SEXUALLY INEXPERIENCED BOYS. I LEARNED MORE IN TWO WEEKS OF APPROACHES THAN IN TWO MONTHS OF READING POSTS HERE"

I want my $100! Pay up! :woo: