the fear of being judged

jhonny9546

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they say they "get high on the social ladder," and h"ave a lot of experience with sex".
But if these things are done in the city you live in, where you're known by anyone, aren't you afraid of ruining your "image"??
Have you ever thought about this?
How did you overcome?
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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But if these things are done in the city you live in, where you're known by anyone, aren't you afraid of ruining your "image"??
Discretion is the better part of valour. I don't have a 'player' reputation, because the kink I do with most women is not something they want to talk about with other women.

Have you ever thought about this?
My imago is creative / artistic, which is a niche that is way more comfortable with 'casual relationships' than most of society.

How did you overcome?
I have a lot of 'foreign' lovers (Amsterdam has a huge amounts of tourists), who do not interact with each other. And I don't advertise my private / sex life.
 

sharkfinale

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No one really cares.

When you understand, experience, and internalize it, you will be fine.
 

BPH

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But if these things are done in the city you live in, where you're known by anyone, aren't you afraid of ruining your "image"??
Personally, when I started learning this stuff I did it in places where I'm unlikely to run into the same people twice (vacation, a mall, etc).

But think about this, in reference to the part I quoted in your post:

What "image" are you afraid of losing if you're not where you want to be yet?
 

YourGreatestFear

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Depends on the size of your "city". If it's indeed a city and not some village or town with 200k people or less, then no one will give a ****. If you live in a small community, like 20k people village, then you'll get a reputation all right. But the worst thing that can happen is you're getting a reputation for being a creep hitting on girls in an uncalibrated way and getting rejected. The reputation of a player who bangs a lot of women is beneficial to you in most cases.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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“I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.” John Galt

Maybe I’m just old and ornery, I’ve truly never cared what others think of me. I’m also gracious with the women I spend time with, they’d never talk smack about me.

Could also have to do with them being a preselected type of people that do not engage in gossip. I doubt anyone I’ve slept with would ever trash me, as I command respect naturally, it’s unspoken.

Worrying about other people’s opinions of what you do is a waste of time.
 
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