jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
Hey guys, Johnny here!
The relationship we men have with women is... complicated.
Some of us are frustrated because we can't seem to succeed with women.
Maybe we can attract them at first, but then we get lost chasing them.
Some, memorize every PUA line and technique they can find, yet still can't hold a conversation.
But let's be honest. Who among us hasn't struggled with this at some point? Who hasn't looked for answers?
So you start working on yourself.
You build your physique, make more money, improve your status, chase excellence.
And yet, even after becoming the kind of man who attracts beautiful women, you still can't understand why the overweight guy with a beer belly, no money, and zero sense of style somehow walks away with the girl every single time.
So what's the missing piece?
Well, gentlemen, I'd like to propose something.
More than just a discussion topic, it's a perspective that I believe every man should begin to embody once he reaches his mid-twenties. This isn't a "technique" you'll use with women.
In fact, we'll work on this quality precisely because it isn't centered around getting or keeping women. It's about developing your own frame, a place of stability and safety that anyone can rely on.
Children, teenagers, men, women, adults, the elderly... everyone should feel that they can come back to you.
-
The quality I'm talking about became especially clear to me after watching some of my friends change once they had their first child.
Not perfectly, and not always in the healthiest way. But the change happened naturally.
Most of them used to be classic nice guys. Some simply became softer and more emotional.
Others became fathers.
And those who truly became fathers showed me one of the most important qualities a man can develop, something I couldn't quite put into words until recently.
You know how everyone talks about leadership?
They tell you that leadership means running teams, speaking in public, inspiring crowds, and all that.
But I think it's much simpler than that.
And it's exactly the quality we're looking for.
Let's go back to my friends.
When their child was born, they suddenly had to develop a new ability. They had to guide him, discipline him, set boundaries, and give instructions he could trust and follow.
If they had a female, that was also the case, but a bit different.
Anyway, they realized that a child needs a path that he cannot build on his own.
So the father builds that path for him.
Along the sides of that path, he places guardrails (boundaries) to keep the child safe.
Eventually, the child reaches a crossroads. He asks for guidance.
The father points him in the right direction.
If the child listens, he stays on the right path. If he doesn't, he learns through experience.
Now, this is obviously just a visual or storytelling example.
But here's the real question.
Why spend years learning push-pull techniques, hot-and-cold games, scripted lines, and psychological tricks just to attract women...
...when, as men, we could instead develop a quality that improves not only our dating life, but our careers, our friendships, our families, and every other area of life?
I'm talking about learning to become a father.
It's really that simple.
And I don't necessarily mean having children.
I mean adopting the mindset.
Imagine you're traveling around Rome with three friends, and none of them knows where to go.
Treat them like people who need your guidance. You children.
No, you don't have to teach them how to brush their teeth or tie their shoes.
You know what I mean.
People naturally look for someone they can relax around, someone who feels grounded, competent, and dependable.
If you're constantly leaning on others it won't happen.
We MUST aknowledge this thruth.
Instead of being the person others lean on, you're still the one that lean on others.
So, become the kind of man who carries. Start small. Organize a weekend trip with friends. Take charge of a two-day vacation. Volunteer for more responsibility at work. Lead a project. Manage people.
Think about that weekend when you decided to ride dirt bikes with your friends.
Be a guide, show them how it works.
There's a big difference between someone who develops qualities to reach personal heights, but which can't be used to guide others, and someone who focuses on building relationships through those qualities.
Let's take a really simple example:
Think of a person who trains three days a week to build their physique.
They go to the gym, they work out, and their physique grows.
They've taught themselves something, but they could take it a step further.
Now think of the same person, who in those three days, stays an extra two hours to be a personal trainer at that gym.
Do you see the difference? The first is an attractive person, but the second is also an attractive man.
Let's look at a painter, now..
He could draw for himself, exhibit, and become incredibly famous, yet never work on his ability to become a real man.
Instead, he could dedicate two hours a day to teaching, helping others understand the perspective of art, and then he's seen as a real person others can lean on.
It's simply about taking your qualities, and even if they're not perfect, teaching them to others.
Even if those quality you teach, you feel like have no value for you.. there might be value for others to listen to you!
Lead others.
The interesting thing is that people automatically perceive those in leadership positions as more trustworthy.
And it doesn't really mean they have it. Like my friends. There are five good fathers, but also five bad fathers still in their role as fathers too. But beyond appearances, these situations give you the opportunity to actually become a guide.
In every situation, you should understand if you've been put in that role. Or how you can put yourself in that role. If you can put yourself in this role of leader, and you can repeat it forever in your life, then it will simply come naturally to you to be able to do it over and over again.
Let's say you're a father, and that your kids enter a new school, and in your class there are 30 kids.
Someone might volounteer for the role of class administrator.
This might be an unpaid role. But you should do it anyway.
It builds experience for you.
Let's say your local community has a new association.
There are only people who age 50+ and you don't like it so much.
Do it anyway. Contact the administrator and ask him if they need something for a role.
This will build you experience.
You should do anything like that, not because you're a nice guy.
But, because you might want to enter position of responsabilities.
Again, start small.
You might find it difficult if you go to places where there are already other leaders, and unless you can get along with them, there's no room and you need to change environments.
In fact, one of the biggest challenges you face once you've figured out how to be a leader is choosing the right environments.
But always remember the underlying message: be a father to other people.
People see you as trustworthy.
Now, you're wondering, How does this relate to women?
Very simple. Think of a date.
The typical male will enter nervous and fearful, crack a few jokes, look for a few red flags, but ultimately, he won't be able to achieve his goal because he can't convey a sense of protection, trust, or security.
On the other hand, if you have changed your mindset and worked on your fatherly qualities, then she's simply your little girl
And your little girl simply wants to feel "cared for."
This will come natural for you.
Now, speaking of relationships.
If you can be this kind of person, a genuine driver, then making decisions about your relationships will be easier.
This is a positive mindset for your life.
It doesn't matter what age the other person is, whether you're dealing with a child, an adult, or an old man.
You can always treat them with the "father" mindset, and this always helps you take responsibility in life, stay playful, and not let others walk all over you.
Or rather, if you want a masculine woman who leads you, but who also creates drama, complains, and stresses you out, then stay with the mindset of being "her son" (which is very common here in Italy), then do everything mommy says, but you'll have a ****ty life.
There are many men who are "sons," and many "women" who are mothers and when they see a man so confident, in control of himself and his time, these women are immediately attracted.
But at the same time, they don't want him because they have no control over him, and they grew up with a childish father whose mothers abused him and told him what to do and not to do.
Put yourself in these women's shoes... They can't change who they are.
Yet they're attracted to "fatherly" men. The ones we aspire to become.
But they can't help but push them away.
So, one of the most important steps you can take as a person today is to understand what your qualities are, the ones you currently possess, and teach them to others.
It doesn't matter if it's gardening, picking up dead lizards, or something else trivial, the important thing is to start small and teach others what you know.
From this, you can see what your leadership style is and understand where you can do better.
That said, I'd like to hear your opinion and spark a good discussion on this topic.
As well as finding the best resources, including books and videos on the "Father -> Daughter" or "Father -> Son" relationship that can be found online, specifically in the growth area related to our goal.
The relationship we men have with women is... complicated.
Some of us are frustrated because we can't seem to succeed with women.
Maybe we can attract them at first, but then we get lost chasing them.
Some, memorize every PUA line and technique they can find, yet still can't hold a conversation.
But let's be honest. Who among us hasn't struggled with this at some point? Who hasn't looked for answers?
So you start working on yourself.
You build your physique, make more money, improve your status, chase excellence.
And yet, even after becoming the kind of man who attracts beautiful women, you still can't understand why the overweight guy with a beer belly, no money, and zero sense of style somehow walks away with the girl every single time.
So what's the missing piece?
Well, gentlemen, I'd like to propose something.
More than just a discussion topic, it's a perspective that I believe every man should begin to embody once he reaches his mid-twenties. This isn't a "technique" you'll use with women.
In fact, we'll work on this quality precisely because it isn't centered around getting or keeping women. It's about developing your own frame, a place of stability and safety that anyone can rely on.
Children, teenagers, men, women, adults, the elderly... everyone should feel that they can come back to you.
-
The quality I'm talking about became especially clear to me after watching some of my friends change once they had their first child.
Not perfectly, and not always in the healthiest way. But the change happened naturally.
Most of them used to be classic nice guys. Some simply became softer and more emotional.
Others became fathers.
And those who truly became fathers showed me one of the most important qualities a man can develop, something I couldn't quite put into words until recently.
You know how everyone talks about leadership?
They tell you that leadership means running teams, speaking in public, inspiring crowds, and all that.
But I think it's much simpler than that.
And it's exactly the quality we're looking for.
Let's go back to my friends.
When their child was born, they suddenly had to develop a new ability. They had to guide him, discipline him, set boundaries, and give instructions he could trust and follow.
If they had a female, that was also the case, but a bit different.
Anyway, they realized that a child needs a path that he cannot build on his own.
So the father builds that path for him.
Along the sides of that path, he places guardrails (boundaries) to keep the child safe.
Eventually, the child reaches a crossroads. He asks for guidance.
The father points him in the right direction.
If the child listens, he stays on the right path. If he doesn't, he learns through experience.
Now, this is obviously just a visual or storytelling example.
But here's the real question.
Why spend years learning push-pull techniques, hot-and-cold games, scripted lines, and psychological tricks just to attract women...
...when, as men, we could instead develop a quality that improves not only our dating life, but our careers, our friendships, our families, and every other area of life?
I'm talking about learning to become a father.
It's really that simple.
And I don't necessarily mean having children.
I mean adopting the mindset.
Imagine you're traveling around Rome with three friends, and none of them knows where to go.
Treat them like people who need your guidance. You children.
No, you don't have to teach them how to brush their teeth or tie their shoes.
You know what I mean.
People naturally look for someone they can relax around, someone who feels grounded, competent, and dependable.
If you're constantly leaning on others it won't happen.
We MUST aknowledge this thruth.
Instead of being the person others lean on, you're still the one that lean on others.
So, become the kind of man who carries. Start small. Organize a weekend trip with friends. Take charge of a two-day vacation. Volunteer for more responsibility at work. Lead a project. Manage people.
Think about that weekend when you decided to ride dirt bikes with your friends.
Be a guide, show them how it works.
There's a big difference between someone who develops qualities to reach personal heights, but which can't be used to guide others, and someone who focuses on building relationships through those qualities.
Let's take a really simple example:
Think of a person who trains three days a week to build their physique.
They go to the gym, they work out, and their physique grows.
They've taught themselves something, but they could take it a step further.
Now think of the same person, who in those three days, stays an extra two hours to be a personal trainer at that gym.
Do you see the difference? The first is an attractive person, but the second is also an attractive man.
Let's look at a painter, now..
He could draw for himself, exhibit, and become incredibly famous, yet never work on his ability to become a real man.
Instead, he could dedicate two hours a day to teaching, helping others understand the perspective of art, and then he's seen as a real person others can lean on.
It's simply about taking your qualities, and even if they're not perfect, teaching them to others.
Even if those quality you teach, you feel like have no value for you.. there might be value for others to listen to you!
Lead others.
The interesting thing is that people automatically perceive those in leadership positions as more trustworthy.
And it doesn't really mean they have it. Like my friends. There are five good fathers, but also five bad fathers still in their role as fathers too. But beyond appearances, these situations give you the opportunity to actually become a guide.
In every situation, you should understand if you've been put in that role. Or how you can put yourself in that role. If you can put yourself in this role of leader, and you can repeat it forever in your life, then it will simply come naturally to you to be able to do it over and over again.
Let's say you're a father, and that your kids enter a new school, and in your class there are 30 kids.
Someone might volounteer for the role of class administrator.
This might be an unpaid role. But you should do it anyway.
It builds experience for you.
Let's say your local community has a new association.
There are only people who age 50+ and you don't like it so much.
Do it anyway. Contact the administrator and ask him if they need something for a role.
This will build you experience.
You should do anything like that, not because you're a nice guy.
But, because you might want to enter position of responsabilities.
Again, start small.
You might find it difficult if you go to places where there are already other leaders, and unless you can get along with them, there's no room and you need to change environments.
In fact, one of the biggest challenges you face once you've figured out how to be a leader is choosing the right environments.
But always remember the underlying message: be a father to other people.
People see you as trustworthy.
Now, you're wondering, How does this relate to women?
Very simple. Think of a date.
The typical male will enter nervous and fearful, crack a few jokes, look for a few red flags, but ultimately, he won't be able to achieve his goal because he can't convey a sense of protection, trust, or security.
On the other hand, if you have changed your mindset and worked on your fatherly qualities, then she's simply your little girl
And your little girl simply wants to feel "cared for."
This will come natural for you.
Now, speaking of relationships.
If you can be this kind of person, a genuine driver, then making decisions about your relationships will be easier.
This is a positive mindset for your life.
It doesn't matter what age the other person is, whether you're dealing with a child, an adult, or an old man.
You can always treat them with the "father" mindset, and this always helps you take responsibility in life, stay playful, and not let others walk all over you.
Or rather, if you want a masculine woman who leads you, but who also creates drama, complains, and stresses you out, then stay with the mindset of being "her son" (which is very common here in Italy), then do everything mommy says, but you'll have a ****ty life.
There are many men who are "sons," and many "women" who are mothers and when they see a man so confident, in control of himself and his time, these women are immediately attracted.
But at the same time, they don't want him because they have no control over him, and they grew up with a childish father whose mothers abused him and told him what to do and not to do.
Put yourself in these women's shoes... They can't change who they are.
Yet they're attracted to "fatherly" men. The ones we aspire to become.
But they can't help but push them away.
So, one of the most important steps you can take as a person today is to understand what your qualities are, the ones you currently possess, and teach them to others.
It doesn't matter if it's gardening, picking up dead lizards, or something else trivial, the important thing is to start small and teach others what you know.
From this, you can see what your leadership style is and understand where you can do better.
That said, I'd like to hear your opinion and spark a good discussion on this topic.
As well as finding the best resources, including books and videos on the "Father -> Daughter" or "Father -> Son" relationship that can be found online, specifically in the growth area related to our goal.
