"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The ex girlfriend

S

SuperValk

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Alright... don't know who else to ask on this one. I usually don't ask for advice, so forgive me if this isn't the place for my questions.

So, lets's get to it. I dated this girl last summer. She moved away and we ended our relationship naturally. Well, she'll come into town occasionally and we have some mutual friends. They'll go out as well as I will with friends and what not. What ends up happenig is we'll end up being at opposite ends of the bar not speaking. I do it out of respect for the assumption she doesn't want to speak to me. We haven't spoken since we broke up. But we end up having mutual friends and I won't get to bs with them. So what is to be done...

I mean do I be a **** and just go say hello anyway. Or just continue to ignore the issue.

The problem is when I am avoiding, end up not gaming at all or even bs'in with friends. And basically just be a bar fly.

It seems pretty juvenile to me. But I'm just trying to be respectful.

Advice... figured I'd ask the experts.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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KarmaSutra

KarmaSutra

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If you cower in the corner it makes you appear as her b!tch. Why not be social with everyone there, including her.

Don't focus on her, but don't exclude her from you being a genuinely fun guy to hang around and have laughs with.
 
M

Mantis Toboggan

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What Karma said.

Just talk to her like a regular person. No need to be all gay about it.
 
A

Alex DeLarge

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Yeah just talk to her dude, ask how she's doing, ask how she likes the new town and just shoot the sh1t with her. Unless she freaks out and hits you with a bottle in there because she's nuts, nothing bad will happen.

You probably appear like a scared little dog to her and your friends by not communicating.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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