The end-result of years of masturbation

[fbplayer06]

Hey guys,

I lost my virginity at a relatively late age (19; I'm 20 now), and I have since been with very few women. In fact, I have never reached an orgasm with a girl (be it through hand/mouth/vagina), and I suspect this is because I have so conditioned my penis to only climax with the assistance of my right hand that no other stimulation will work for me. Does/has anyone else had this problem?

I recently started going out with a girl to whom I explained my issue, but she doesn't believe that it's *my* problem, not hers, and she feels like she's not good enough to satisfy me (even though she is quite attractive in my eyes...I just have a hard time going over the edge). I've since stopped masturbating (it's been almost a week now) in an effort to rid my penis' memory of my beloved palm and to try to let my girlfriend do the job, but it's still a challenge for me to just let go. :/

I want my woman to be able to feel like she can satisfy me. Any advice? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

 

[nightcrawler]

I try to stop masturbating but can't

 

[fbplayer06]

I try to stop masturbating but can't

Um...thanks for the response. It's hard for me, too (no pun intended), but whenever I have the urge I think of my girlfriend and of my goal to *** with her and not myself every time.

Could it simply be a waiting game?...I mean, if I go long enough, eventually she'll be able to get me off with the slightest touch, right?

Anyone else have advice?

 

[brewbaron]

if you've tried with several girls and still can't get off I suspect its more a mental block than a physical one. not to say it isn't possible that you've somehow conditioned your penis to only respond to your hand I find it hard to believe. you mentioned that its difficult for you to let go, maybe you are tense while having sex because you think you won't be able to climax. and the more you think about it the more difficult it becomes. maybe you can try jerking off in front of your woman, then have her jerk you off the same way you do, then transition to her mouth, etc.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Sure, you've got 'death-grip syndrome'. You are used to the stimulation of masturbating by hand and need to untrain yourself. Anticipating this problem myself I have purchased a fleshlight. Indeed, they have various types of fleshlight, and nowadays, they are making them more realistic to the vagina each time. The newest line of product is the lotus and I'm thinking of buying one myself for $ 80. Use that instead of masturbating by hand. Within a month or so you'll be cured. You see, any girl is not available 24/7 for you, so when she's not available, use that instead.

 

[fbplayer06]

Good ideas. Thanks for the input.

 

[02hero]

Sure, you've got 'death-grip syndrome'. You are used to the stimulation of masturbating by hand and need to untrain yourself. Anticipating this problem myself I have purchased a fleshlight. Indeed, they have various types of fleshlight, and nowadays, they are making them more realistic to the vagina each time. The newest line of product is the lotus and I'm thinking of buying one myself for $ 80. Use that instead of masturbating by hand. Within a month or so you'll be cured. You see, any girl is not available 24/7 for you, so when she's not available, use that instead.

"Death-grip syndrome", let me give you a virtual high five for that one.... if you pardon the pun. :crackup:
So basically your advice is to spend 80$ on a pretend c*nt. For crying out loud man.
OP this is a mental problem made worse by your anxiety over it. Your girlfriend is also worrying over this problem now too, after you told her about it.

I wouldn't normally advocate this but have you tried sex without a condom? If you are in a relationship and she's on the pill it may help you to overcome this. Don't drink a lot, if any. Then you need to get her to talk freaky to you and put on a sexy little outfit or something. Go pick one out together, bring back some fun into the bedroom. You need to just be in the moment while you are doing the deed. Talk to yourself about how nice she feels, how good she smells, kiss her neck and look deep down into her eyes and just let go......... before you know it I'm sure your beans will be blown. Go get her Tiger...

 

[Luke Skywalker]

"Death-grip syndrome", let me give you a virtual high five for that one.... if you pardon the pun. :crackup:
So basically you're advice is to spend 80$ on a pretend c*nt. For crying out loud man.
OP this is a mental problem made worse by your anxiety over it. Your girlfriend is also worrying over this problem now too, after you told her about it.

I didn't make this term up. It's something that's happens lots of times to FL users that are quitting masturbating by hand and using this devide. They lose the erection very fast. If you use an FL enough times, then you get used to it, and eventually you stop using your hands and are now conditioned to have vaginal sex.

http://forums.fleshlight.com/search.php?searchid=1406148

Now a days they are making FL's very realistic.

I wouldn't normally advocate this but have you tried sex without a condom? If you are in a relationship and she's on the pill it may help you to overcome this. Don't drink a lot, if any. Then you need to get her to talk freaky to you and put on a sexy little outfit or something. Go pick one out together, bring back some fun into the bedroom. You need to just be in the moment while you are doing the deed. Talk to yourself about how nice she feels, how good she smells, kiss her neck and look deep down into her eyes and just let go......... before you know it I'm sure your beans will be blown. Go get her Tiger...

I think death-grip syndrome is best understood by someone who habitually gets off primarily by using their hands and who has successfully learned to untrain the mind away from using the hands. I used to have this problem, but now do not need to use my hands exclusively to get off.

The FL is something that can be practised on without having to worry what the partner is thinking. And you know what -- there are guys who use FLs because their gf is not available 24/7 and they don't want to cheat with her, or they want to get off on the times she is not around.

 

[Ixnys]

Man I can't believe you would let the sex session end without an orgasm. Even in times where maybe for some odd reason I can't get hard or might have cummed beforehand so it makes it harder to reach climax I'll just stimulate myself with my hand to get to that point where you almost reach climax.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. That point where once you reach a certain threshold you are in the zone and you don't have to jerk as hard to reach climax. I would reach that zone and then stick it in her. At that point it probably shouldn't be so hard to climax from penetration.

 

[Desert Fox]

Iv had this problem before and I was hard for 45 min - 1 hour and still couldn't cvm.

the girl was happy about it the first few times but then she was like WTF

i got her to do many things for me that i said would "turn me on" and solve this problem

eventually I just resorted to kind of jacking myself to the brink before and stopping. after that i'd bang her and i would not have any more issues

 

[JDTHADJ]

You should try bare backing(raw sex).only if its your wifey!it she aint don't chance it,I had sorta the same problem and I realized thAT its all in your head,when your banging her just keep thinking about how good it feels..And in no time she'll be catching baby batter with her lips.100!

 

[02hero]

So let me get this straight Mr Skywalker, you are a Master Don Juan with well in excess of over two thousand posts here and one of your "plates" is a plastic vagina,,,?

I'm sorry people, but if the above example alone doesn't inspire you to get off of your computer and go outside and talk to some girls, nothing ever will.....

Fu*k my old boots

 

[typical]

Umm his only "plate" is plastic mate, he has no guts to go out and meet a real woman and all he does is troll the boards everyday.

No point in doing a PHD if you've never actually used the things learned.

 

[darkme_legendary]

I want my woman to be able to feel like she can satisfy me.

This is why your girl thinks that is her problem that she cannot satisfy you. You are in the wanting mode all the time. And wanting means lack.
Just allow her to satisfy you. Next, you will find that is something else or there is no problem.

Masturbation is a body need. Body is different from yourself. If you cannot stop masturbating just by your decision this simply means that you are not in control.

You get something out of not acting how you want. Find what you gain out of it and eliminate it.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

Might be "anorgasmy" / "anorgasmia", a medical condition similar to what you descirbe.

A loose friend of mine told me once he has it. I had never heard of anything like that before and was speechless. He does fvck and enjoys it. He just can not come inside a woman.

My advice is a bit tentative here, since I do not have "first hand" experience with it:

a) Reduce your masterbation strongly. Or better still, don't come. Only once a week or so. Hard? I bet it is. No pain, no gain.

b) Change the WAY you do it. Stop the whacky-whacky, if that's what you're doing. Relax and stay with your sensations. No fantasy-stuff. Be more gentle, experiment with other ways to touch yourself, observe, include the surrounding of your dyck. As soon as you wander off to mental fantasy-land - stop. Restart after a pause, focussing on your sensations.

c) Relax. Most girls are far more understanding than you might think. It's ok, nothing HAS to happen. It helps a lot, also for HER relaxation, if you are relaxed.


--------
Off topic:
Skywalker tried to help and honestly shared his experience. In my eyes this is meritable. Isn't it even gutsy on some level?
Certainly more than the "I've read this and that, you're wrong and I am right"-delusions and the "I'm so awesome, I have the largest"-rants (Ridiculous anyways, you should see mine, this would shut you up once and for all;-) ) . Or consider the "why do all the girls are so bytchy, life is not fair"-borers. Or the "gotta be the biggest a$$hole of the planet 100% of the time"-narcissists.
What do you know? He might have taken the red pill of awakening late in his life and thus suffer from remaining AFC-consequences.
---------

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Its called "retarded ejaculation." Some guys have it so bad they HAVE to watch porn, alone, with the girl in another room.

I don't have it, but I think I was on my way before I eased up on that sh*t.

 

[Metaphysical]

stop watching porn and you will see how fast you will bust a nut after a week of not jerking off.

 

[02hero]

Might be "anorgasmy" / "anorgasmia", a medical condition similar to what you descirbe.

A loose friend of mine told me once he has it. I had never heard of anything like that before and was speechless. He does fvck and enjoys it. He just can not come inside a woman.

My advice is a bit tentative here, since I do not have "first hand" experience with it:

a) Reduce your masterbation strongly. Or better still, don't come. Only once a week or so. Hard? I bet it is. No pain, no gain.

b) Change the WAY you do it. Stop the whacky-whacky, if that's what you're doing. Relax and stay with your sensations. No fantasy-stuff. Be more gentle, experiment with other ways to touch yourself, observe, include the surrounding of your dyck. As soon as you wander off to mental fantasy-land - stop. Restart after a pause, focussing on your sensations.

c) Relax. Most girls are far more understanding than you might think. It's ok, nothing HAS to happen. It helps a lot, also for HER relaxation, if you are relaxed.


--------
Off topic:
Skywalker tried to help and honestly shared his experience. In my eyes this is meritable. Isn't it even gutsy on some level?
Certainly more than the "I've read this and that, you're wrong and I am right"-delusions and the "I'm so awesome, I have the largest"-rants (Ridiculous anyways, you should see mine, this would shut you up once and for all;-) ) . Or consider the "why do all the girls are so bytchy, life is not fair"-borers. Or the "gotta be the biggest a$$hole of the planet 100% of the time"-narcissists.
What do you know? He might have taken the red pill of awakening late in his life and thus suffer from remaining AFC-consequences.
---------

Fair enough MYA, you do have a valid point. I'm assuming your off topic comments were directed at me?
Usually I wouldn't criticize anyone for trying to help someone out. Not using this as an excuse, but to say I was a little taken aback at the suggestion of investing 80$ into a synthetic clunge would be an understatement.

But hey, who am I to judge? I apologize to LS for my outburst.

 

[More Cowbell Please]

Is the puss*y not that good? I am not recommending this to anyone, but I have been jacking it for years and when I put it in bareback I have to keep myself from blowing my wad. :rock:Maybe you should try a thinner condom?

 

[Lexington]

I guess that's possible, but there could be other explanations for it. It could be due to psychological reasons.

Contrary to what many guys may say, very many guys whack off A LOT. It is an extremely pleasurable and addictive activity.

I in fact had the opposite problem. The first couple of times I got laid, I came too soon. I think it was because I was just so excited that I was actually getting some real action.