The Effect of Options

[bigneil]

I used to think that if a woman blew me off it was because one of her other options was demonstrably better than me.

However, I'm finding that when I have choices on what girls to date (which usually only happens in the summer), that the girl who I interacted with most recently has more of an effect on me. In fact, I'm avoiding some girls who I literally adore, but only because they text when I'm in the middle of something with someone else.

So the next time a girl doesn't call you back, don't assume it means anything other than bad timing. This is key, especially because doubting yourself will indeed mean something bad, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can lead to a downward spiral. Unless she has told you she doesn't like you, just wait until something interesting comes up, and text her again. Most importantly, have other options yourself so you won't even notice her absence to begin with.

I'd like to hear from the guys here who have had lots of options in the past to see if they confirm this.

 

[G_Govan]

However, I'm finding that when I have choices on what girls to date (which usually only happens in the summer), that the girl who I interacted with most recently has more of an effect on me.

This would only seem to make sense if all else is equal. How often does that really occur though?

You'll most likely want the hottest one, that is, if she's actually a viable option.

 

[dasein]

Second OP. Have had many periods in life where "when it rains it pours" causes me to be less on the ball with working emerging options correctly. Keep in mind that for most women worthy of pursuing, it is always raining and pouring options. Resist that "nesting" settling down conditioning, it's fake BS pumped into us by gynocracy. Faced with plenty, become more strategic, analytical, tactical than ever, never less. That's when you can start really hitting the truly hot ones if done right. They can smell the options on you and respond innately. Use the advantage to structure continued advantage for yourself. Read Sun Tzu and Machiavelli, women know it innately, we have to learn it. Get lazy and when you turn around in a few months with no options cultivated you got nothing. Learn from my mistakes and don't slack off in times of plenty.

OTOH, if they don't return two-three phone calls, regardless of reason, time to move on to other options. To prevent the flaking, don't just go grabbing up a bunch of phone numbers out then taking off, get 2-3 that you -know- for a fact you have pressed enough buttons on to generate baseline interest.

 

[TheException]

I used to think that if a woman blew me off it was because one of her other options was demonstrably better than me.

However, I'm finding that when I have choices on what girls to date (which usually only happens in the summer), that the girl who I interacted with most recently has more of an effect on me.

Remember....women and men are NOT the same when it comes to the sexual marketplace. Men love variety and its for THIS reason that we like "newer" girls over ones we have been seeing, even though we like them a lot.

Women do NOT like variety. They want the best. They want the most alpha. So they dont just forget about a guy because shes out with another. A woman will always know who she likes the best and will treat him with priority.

So the next time a girl doesn't call you back, don't assume it means anything other than bad timing. This is key, especially because doubting yourself will indeed mean something bad, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can lead to a downward spiral. Unless she has told you she doesn't like you, just wait until something interesting comes up, and text her again. Most importantly, have other options yourself so you won't even notice her absence to begin with.

Now I think there is a lot of wisdom in this paragraph.

"Bad timing" definitely victimizes men. A woman could be at work, shopping, forgot her phone, phone died, etc......and instead men jump to the worst possible conclusion and get all depressed if she doesnt answer in 32.1 seconds.....been there done that. The best mindset to have when sending a text message is being "outcome independent".....meaning you dont give a sh1t if she even responds or not...easier said than done, but its critical and super beneficial.

The other snippet about "negative thinking" is brilliant as well. The opposite is also true. Positive thoughts → positive actions → positive behavior → reinforces positive thoughts → *cycle continues*

People that doubt the "prize mentality" dont understand the principle of feedback loops. Even if a guy is the biggest chump ever....its still beneficial for him to think hes the prize....eventually thoughts will become reality.

I'd like to hear from the guys here who have had lots of options in the past to see if they confirm this.

From my perspective I definitely liked "newer" women. Its exciting to have a new plate and to have sex with someone different. Also, this approach will make you only add new plates that are AS HOTT OR HOTTER than existing plates. If I had 3 hb7s.....I found no real reason to add HB4s. Dont confuse this with adding girls slightly less attractive, because at a certain point either a woman is good enough to have sex or shes not. Sure some are hotter than others, but this is the only real barometer, so its not like I was turning down HB 6.9s just because I had some HB7 plates. But it makes you strive to find hotter women than the ones you already have.

And as far as women....if one would start giving me the cold shoulder and turning me down for dates, she usually soon entered a relationship with another man. It is what it is. Cant make it a big deal. Be happy for her and move the he11 on....

 

[3agle 3yes]

I agree with all the replies, good points by all.

I used to think that if a woman blew me off it was because one of her other options was demonstrably better than me.

This is a "symptom" from the "disease" known as emotional instability.

i.e. Attaching yourself worth to the women you're seeing...because when someone is emotional unstable logic goes out the window.

Most importantly, have other options yourself so you won't even notice her absence to begin with.

I agree with the action but disagree with the motivation.

Have options in case you get bored or don't like her instead.