The ebb & flow of interest levels

[fbplayer06]

Hey,

I'm aware that giving a girl (especially one you've just met) too much attention is detrimental to the goal of keeping her interested in you. But what I'm wondering is how to steadily escalate things in a relationship (not bf/gf, but simple acquaintances) while keeping a girl's interest level high. See the paradox? How can one explicitly increase attraction without pushing her away?

This may seem nerdy, but for all of you math folks out there, I suspect the pattern of a girl's interest level (for this situation) would resemble the function f(x)=sin(x)+x; that is, it increases in general over time, but oscillates up and down along the way. Does this make sense, or am I totally in left field here? Is it natural for there to be relative "low spots" in the timeline of a girl's interest level as it increases as a whole?

Anyway, I'd appreciate advice on how to move things along with a girl without making her feel like she's "caught" you. I want to remain a challenge and a prize, but also take the initiative with making moves.

Thanks.

 

[violator]

Hey,

I'm aware that giving a girl (especially one you've just met) too much attention is detrimental to the goal of keeping her interested in you. But what I'm wondering is how to steadily escalate things in a relationship (not bf/gf, but simple acquaintances) while keeping a girl's interest level high. See the paradox? How can one explicitly increase attraction without pushing her away?

This may seem nerdy, but for all of you math folks out there, I suspect the pattern of a girl's interest level (for this situation) would resemble the function f(x)=sin(x)+x; that is, it increases in general over time, but oscillates up and down along the way. Does this make sense, or am I totally in left field here? Is it natural for there to be relative "low spots" in the timeline of a girl's interest level as it increases as a whole?

Anyway, I'd appreciate advice on how to move things along with a girl without making her feel like she's "caught" you. I want to remain a challenge and a prize, but also take the initiative with making moves.

Thanks.

You have to push-pull. In other words, you can be hot for her one day and then seem indifferent the next. This seems to work in keeping the suspense, because she never knows how you are going to feel about her on any given day. You always have to give the impression that you can walk away and that you have options.

The best way to achieve this is to be spinning several plates at a time so that you dont get hung up on any one chick.

 

[reset]

I agree with violator. I think the key here is to really be like this though. Say you are with a girl and really enjoying her, then you start getting realistic and wonder if she's really all that, check out other women. You still like her, but you're still weighing your options. And then she'll know that in fact, yes you DO like her, and it's ok for her to know it, and that you're weighing your options as well, which she'll subtly know too. It's the girls job to keep your interest, to win you over. She needs to know she's earned something and that you're not just giving it away freely.

I think it's better when your actions are congruent with the way you're actually feeling.

 

[fbplayer06]

Great feedback.

I think push-pull and an indifferent attitude mixed with occassional showings of attention are the key here.

Thanks again!

 

[Poonani Maker]

This applies to job searching too. Act like you have options (and you're choosing them) and if they close the door to you tell them (the hiring manager), "Thanks for helping me make my decision (to not work for your company and go with this company I've also been courting over here, namely your competition, Sirenara and Adios!"

 

[reset]

This applies to job searching too. Act like you have options (and you're choosing them) and if they close the door to you tell them (the hiring manager), "Thanks for helping me make my decision (to not work for your company and go with this company I've also been courting over here, namely your competition, Sirenara and Adios!"

That's a good point. This is the way you feel naturally when you already have a job that is secure and you're looking to move to a new company, essentially you're interviewing them.

 

[fbplayer06]

Yes, I agree.

In poker terms, one may say you're "freerolling."