The dreaded question of "What do you do?"

[The Duke]

Um no. Not job titles of every guy I've ever been with. Please.

I think Howie is flirting in his own way.

lmao. I knew I would get your attention! When should I be home for dinner baby?

 

[flowtheory]

You shouldn't down play STATUS. That is a bit part of attraction in and of itself. When I hook up with a 20yo, it's often because it's an exciting thing for her to do with an experienced guy with status. I'm filling a different role than her college boyfriend or a club hookup or whatever.

See below:
Even if it is just a one night stand, you STILL need status, good looks, resources, money, career, etc. If you don't believe me, check out the craigslist casual encounter ads. Every post will say "I want a guy who is educated." Why? That makes no sense. Well, if you understood the female ego and their need for validation, then you will think it makes perfect sense. It's a pride thing. Women still want to say they slept with a high status guy and then rejected him. It's a better story to tell than saying they slept with some loser. Even if she did sleep with some loser, no one will ever know about it so I cannot confirm if the women in my group ever slept with low value guys.

Solid.

 

[BeExcellent]

lmao. I knew I would get your attention! When should I be home for dinner baby?

Dinner at 8 dear

 

[Murk]

I WORK AT A GROCERY STORE PUTTING OUT FRUIT!!

WOOOOO!!

"I work in visual merchandising for a global matrix organisation, I specialise in organic perishables so I'm always busy non stop, what about you?"

You continue to charm her, build attraction, bang, date, bang... if you are solid enough, you think she will next you when she learns what that actually means? Maybe... but you didn't do a good enough job on her.

 

[flowtheory]

"I work in visual merchandising for a global matrix organisation, I specialise in organic perishables so I'm always busy non stop, what about you?"

Haha yea then she walks in to my grocery store and sees me putting out parsley..

 

[Murk]

Haha yea then she walks in to my grocery store and sees me putting out parsley..

By then you've already built attraction and connection with her. At that stage you will be amazed at the sh!t women overlook/put up with.

I remember a girl many years ago I lied about a job, having a car, money... by the time she figured it all out it was too late, we laughed it off and I was with her for about a year.

 

[flowtheory]

By then you've already built attraction and connection with her. At that stage you will be amazed at the sh!t women overlook/put up with.

I remember a girl many years ago I lied about a job, having a car, money... by the time she figured it all out it was too late, we laughed it off and I was with her for about a year.

I never lead with the fact I work in a grocery store. I always lead with my passion I’m studied in; albeit this will take time to really build a foundation. Monetarily speaking.

I’m 29. So when I go on dates with women in my age bracket, it matters majorly. When I go for women who are early twenties, they don’t care because the passion resonates deeper with them. When I go for women 36+ it doesn’t matter much either.
But women ages 27-32 have this intense focus of trying to find a provider type so she can settle down, really.
This has been my experience and view.
My ex was 32 and couldn’t stand that I worked at a grocery store.

I’d like to hear others thoughts on this too.

 

[zekko]

AgaIn, for the third time the dynamic is totally different

You're right, the dynamic is different, but it's still a common and legitimate question. If someone has a "regular" 9-5 job, most days that person is spending 1/3 of their life working (or half their waking hours). It's only natural to wonder what a person spends that much time doing.

I have always believed that any work is honorable. I don't care what a person does, if he is working then he has my respect. Maybe he could have a better job, but at least he's putting in some effort and trying to pay for his existence. The guys in their 20s here, maybe they have an entry level job, but so what? That's who those jobs are for, people entering the work force. Now if they're in their 30s and have an entry level job, you might think that they could work smarter, but they still have my respect.

I had a friend when I was younger, he always lied to girls. He made up ridiculous claims about what he did for a living to impress women. The funny thing is, he had a decent job in real life. And women thought he was good looking and charming anyway, he didn't need to lie.

I've never been one to lie about what I do because I've always wanted to be liked for myself, not for some lie I've come up with. If you're ashamed of what you do, or if you are worried about being judged for what you do, I'd say that is a weak frame issue. At the very least, if you're ashamed of what you do, then the problem is with yourself and you should try to address it.

And those descriptions have always been for the purpose of helping the forum understand what high value men are (because that's what I date/LTR/etc)

Well, if you ask me what I think a high value man is, I will probably say myself lol. Now whether or not any particular woman will see that is another question

 

[zekko]

where did i say it wasnt a legitimate question? where did i say you should LIE about what you do and never tell the truth? where did i imply i was ashamed or worried about being judged for what i do? where did i imply that one shouldnt be proud of their work no matter what they do?

I never said you said any of those things. I was just throwing out some opinions.
But you did say this:

i have no interest in women that worry about what i do or how much i have in the bank.

So I will reply that not all women who are interested in what you do are after your money.
As for how much I have in the bank, I've never told that to anyone. It's nobody's business until which time maybe they inherit it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Be as general as possible:

Studying to be anything = "I'm a student"
Unemployed = "I'm a student"
Doctor = "I'm in the medical field"
Electrician = "I do electrical work" or "I'm in the construction field"
Salesman = "I'm in the <name of industry of your product> industry"

Etc. etc. you get the drift

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

State your job and then tag some hobbies on. And then be a bit cheeky with it.

"What do you do?"
"I'm a researcher by day, using lots of fiddly equipment and corrosive chemicals. I also like to do woodwork, model-making, crafts. So I'm pretty good with my hands."

 

[zekko]

I’m simply expressing my mentality behind it and how you can better vet for undesirable women who will just place you in a boyfriend category right off the bat because of how well you do for yourself

I don't know, I guess I just don't give a sh!t. So she knows what I do? So what? It's such a common, basic thing, it's like her knowing the color of my hair. Not sure how I would expect to hide it anyway. All this falls under IDGAF to me.

As for a girl putting me in the "boyfriend" category, I know a lot of would be PUAs get upset about that. I take it as a compliment. If I am a high value male, then I would EXPECT her to want me for a boyfriend, unless she's just the lowest form of slvt. Besides, she can't make you her boyfriend unless you ALLOW it, so to some extent it's irrelevant. I understand some guys probably don't want to deal with the feelings involved, but I would rather deal with her high interest than the kind of bad behavior garbage most guys on here complain about.

Some say that if she sees you as a potential boyfriend, she'll make you wait for sex, but that hasn't really been my experience. I don't think you get labeled a "Beta Provider" type unless you are doing something seriously wrong. In any case, how long can she make wait, one or two dates?

 

[zekko]

ive been holding back but ive been nice to you long enough
im done repeating myself and pointing out your misinterpretation and limited cognitive abilities.

Ah, there's the MidnightCity I know. Wow, I must really rub you the wrong way.
I'm not sure why. Obviously we have different philosophies, and I don't agree with you on a number of things, but I have no dislike of you.

just recently you said you "hated" so called "fake" PUA conversation exchanges with women and you would "never use one of those lines" ignoring the fact that no one ever said you had to use the exact lines that are given as EXAMPLES of techniques

I did point out myself in that post that those lines were meant as examples of the types of things to say, and not to be said verbatim. It's just that those sample conversations always sound the same and they sound so corny and fake, that's what I was criticizing. Maybe if they got a Hollywood screenwriter to write the dialogue it would sound better.

arent you like fvckin 100?

That's pretty funny, I did get a laugh out of that. I feel 100 some days.

i dont really care, just stop responding to my threads unless you have something of value to add.

I thought this was Tilex's thread, although I did respond to some of your posts. I think maybe you're being a little oversensitive because if I quoted you in a post, maybe I was just responding to you for like one sentence, and then went on to give my further opinion on the topic (but was no longer responding to you).

I see this as a message board and I enjoy talking about the subject, that's why I'm here. It's true I've been living with my girlfriend for like 14 years now, so I'm not in the game currently. But if she dumped me tomorrow I'd be back in, I would prefer to be prepared and not get caught flat footed like some guys. I just happen to be in a different stage of life than most guys here.

I did my plate spinning when I was younger, not as a PUA technique but because I thought it was something you were supposed to do. We called it playing the field. or casual dating, or shopping around. My friends and I would go out and look for girls on the weekends. I do wish I knew some of the things I learned here back then, but I learned most of them anyway. You can't deal with women and not learn most of these lessons.

Now I'm in a LTR so yeah, I'm not active, but I feel like through the years I have gained some insight into women. I've tried to pass along some of those things, I've never claimed to be a PUA, or a guru, a stud, or even an alpha male. But I would hope someone somewhere along the line somebody got some value out of something I said. Apparently you aren't one of them. But yeah, I don't post field reports because I'm not looking. I'm more interested in overall philosophies, and I'm here mainly because I find the topic interesting, and I like the board. Vive le difference, as they say.

 

[zekko]

you dont know me at all. you dont rub me any way, you cant say that when you chose to badger me in this thread

I'm surprised to hear that you think I was badgering you, that was not my intent. Everyone has a different opinion, and I consider yours just as valid as anyone else's, even if I might disagree with them. I wasn't aware that I couldn't leave your posts alone, I know I've engaged you several times in this particular thread. But since many of your opinions are the opposite of mine, I used them as a jumping off point to give my opinion. It's a matter of convenience.

But I've probably said all that I wanted to in this thread, so I'll leave y'all to it.

 

[Murk]

Midnight chill bro, fully abandoned using capitals mid thread. Why is the topic getting you so wound up. I think you're taking his posts as a personal attack when he's just chiming in on the subject (I may be wrong don't know the history there between you).

I agree with zekko that a job is a job, we're there most of our days so asking and telling is just a normal interaction and shouldn't be something to navigate, hide or evade when asked about it. Not all women are asking because they are rating you, some are, some are just curious and some are just shooting the sh!t asking a basic question. I think that is the basis of this thread initially, I can't speak on all the other weird tangents it's taken.

 

[devilkingx2]

I tell girls I'm a bank robber usually