The dreaded kid - anyone with experience?

[NewMan]

I've been fvcking this girl with a kid for the past 3 weeks.

It's not dating - because I've yet to buy her a drink - dinner - or in fact taken her out on a date.

it ususally works like this - She has Thrusday's off from her kid - and calls me up and tells me she will be at such and such a bar with her friends. I'll meet her there around 10PM - and about an hour later we will go back to my place to "Play"

All well and good until last Tuesday night.

We were laying there after the deed was done - and she opens up with:

"Where's the craziest place you've had sex"

Which lead into - "Are you screwing anyone else right now"

"When's the last time you screwed someone else"

So we talked.

I'm off out of town with friends this weekend so that's when she said to me

"Are you going to screw anyone else"

I told her I'm not going there with that notion...

and she said

"What if you meet someone and you have a chance"

To which I said

"Maybe"

She told me she needed to know bwcause perhaps she should go out and fvck guys this weekend...

I told her to do whatever she wants to do... But that I'm just telling ehr how it is right now.

Anyway - she's pretty hot. And told me that she's used to guys calling her and wanting to go out with her and to spend time with her - that she get hit on often - and gave me an example of when she got hit on that day.

I didn't react, except to say - that's cool.

I didn't give any reaction like I cared, because so be honest she can do whatever the hell she wants - if she doesn't want to see me again no big deal.

Then this morning I have a message on my cell phone tellign me that since I'm out of town this weeken - I can go over and "Play" with her tonight.

One of the problems is she has a kid - and I don't really want to get to close - or close at all. She divorced - only 25 and was with her ex for 8 yrs. So now she want's to relive her youth and make up for lost time.... which leads to some fun for me.

I don't want to go over her place tonight - especially with the fact she has a kid. I thought I made it clear that it's just fun between us - but it doesn't seem like she's got the message.

Anyone had experience with this kind of situation - and any advice to give?

 

[Trance]

You dont seem to need advice, you are playing it cool, and not getting atached.

 

[myfriendblu]

Im against dating single moms big time. BIG TIME. been there done that. Eventually, she will be looking for a daddy replacent, contrary to what she says. As we all know, as a DJ you need to read between the lines.

 

[Sting]

You don't need advice -- you already know what to do. All you're looking for here is some reassurance that you're doing (or going to do) the right thing. More importantly, you're looking for reassurance that if you do what you doing (or going to do), that you won't lose her (or at least, the ability to keep sleeping with her). Frankly, you need make a decision RIGHT NOW that you will put your full confidence into *your* actions. Anything less will leave you to question whether you screwed up if she decides to fire you.

With all that said, your main problem is remaining involved with a single mother when you know that you don't want to get involved with her kid. Why are you torturing yourself? You like her (or at least sleeping with her) but you don't like her kid (or the idea of her having a kid). Unfortunately for you, they're a package deal. At the same time, you need to realize that she's more insecure than you are with the current state of affairs. This fact is amply demonstrated by her attempts to invoke jealousy on your part (in response to the "talk" you and she had -- why did you have the "talk" anyway?)

The cure for your dilemma is to find other women with no kids, thereby giving you confidence that you are doing the right thing. If you choose not to do so, then you're going to have prepare yourself for the inevitable "you're fired" speech, which is likely to come in the form of "I really like you, but I just don't see us working out long term..." This, of course, will come when she has already lined up another "pencil" to sharpen (possibly an AFC chump who will play daddy, although this is not likely given your belief that she's trying to make up for lost time).

 

[vectorz]

I have experience with this. It all depends if she's okay with it. Even the kid's there, just hang out till the kid goes to sleep. It ain't that hard. And if this is an issue about your conscience, well, you're not forcing her to do it. If she wants to be a slutty mom, let her.

 

[NewMan]

(in response to the "talk" you and she had -- why did you have the "talk" anyway?)

It wasn't like I wanted the talk - we were laying there after the fact - and she brought it up.


I don't care if she next's me - actually I eventually hope she does - it's just easy poon right now, thats regular.

I don't want to meet the kid. I don't want to go around her house and sit there twiddling my thumbs until he goes to bed - no poon is worth that.

The idea here is how to breach the subject - I want to have fun with her, but without getting involved with the kid.... I can't see any good way of putting this.... I can say it bluntly, but that's not going to get me anywhere....

 

[vectorz]

Ok, well if you don't want to meet the kid, here's what I've used . I just tell them I don't think it's a good idea for me to meet their kid until the relationship has gone on a lot longer, and you know that the relationship has become more serious. (Not that you have the intention of taking it there) The reason you wouldn't want to meet the kid is because you like kids and you don't want to risck the chance of getting attached to the kid or vice versa, in case you guys don't work out, either one of you might get hurt. Say you've had that happen in the past and it's not something you want to go through again.

It's up to you, I only used this excuse because it's something I really believed, however you can use it as a canned excuse if you'd like. The females I had told this actually seemed more interested in me after because of the consideration to their children's feelings. Just my 2cents. Hope it comes in handy for you.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Why are you fvcking her with a kid?

 

[DJ_Dork]

sounds like you got a psycho biotch on your hands. Don't get involved with a single mom unless you are really stable in life and is willing to settle down.

 

[vectorz]

Generalizations are bad. Don't discriminate. People come in all walks of life. If she was a single mom that looked like Kelly Brooke, of course, most of you guys would turn her away because you're too high standard. And I know that most of you guys have hot chicks banging down your door. Yes.... I realize this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by NewMan
I've been fvcking this girl with a kid for the past 3 weeks.

At the same time or are you taking turns?

 

[NewMan]

At the same time or are you taking turns?

nice

Why are you fvcking her with a kid?

I hear you.

My rule is not to get involved. I picked her up from a bar and didn't initially know about the kid.

she's a hottie so I figured I'd hit it a few more times before I move on...