"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

The doctor just whupped ass!

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coolguy676767

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OMG, he does look like a pidgeon, dude I am sorry, but that is funny, I remember that story, and you kind of do look like it, we all have our things, like I am kind of pale and chubby at the moment, so I can joke on myself to but its just funny.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Plain & Simple

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Homie you lucky that wasnt me, if it was you would be on ER for a good minute, fuk it, you'd be inside that coffin by now, and since you think you so fly i'd let you leave in style, i'd put lamborgini doors on that coffin.

By the way thats you in that pic?


ROTFL!!
 

bobbob

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You should be spayed and neutered, cause you're a moron, and I fear for the world if you have kids.
 

jprjrjr

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Originally posted by Legend
All i can say is if a person ever did that to me, he wouldnt have been able to walk out of that place. Looks like you got off easy. Im surprised he didnt do anything actually. I think any male would have. For one you embarrassed him in front of his girl....thats alone enough for him to want to kill you. And secondly you threw his meal all over his clothes.

He may get you back still man....you're not out of the clear, at least you wouldnt be if i was that guy.

I def. got a laugh out of this post though.

If a girl has a boyfriend...its easier just to find a single chick than deal with drama from there moron bfs'.

like one time:

I remember some girl's bf wanted to fight me because i said she looked good. I confronted him face to face and he wimped out. Smart choice on his behalf i was completely ready to teach him a lesson in keeping ones month shut.
You told some dude's gf she looked good infront of him, and you were going to teach him to keep his mouth shut?

You're lucky this guy was a wimp, or you might have been the one who was taught a lesson.

Personally, I would have complimented you on your good taste.

Just some friendly advice.
 

MicCheck1-2

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Good job. You tried and it didn't work. Onto the next adventure.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bradshaw

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This is the first sentence of your post:
Originally posted by DrBeard
So Monday im tryin to hook up with this bird I know from college...
This is your picture:
http://pix2.hotornot.com/pics/HL/HZ/NQ/KL/OZNREEGWSKTL.jpg
pigeon!

I read your story… from the sounds of it... you two love birds won’t be flying the coupe together anytime soon.

tuloo, tuloo, tuloo!!!!!



(I am only doing this because this thread is obviously a joke)
 

Bradshaw

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“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Centaurion

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bwahahah

seriously, this guy should get his own section in the DJ-Bible. You know like, The Great Adventures of The Pigeon. It would totally rock!
 

DrBeard

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Why do you all laugh at me? It is why I let my bad boy loose cos people keep dissing me and I gotta stand up like and be a MAN!!

You say I look like a pigeon but that pic is old so I dont give a monkey f*uck!

I went to college this morning and the birds bf pulled up in his car by me. I was gonna leg it but He said he aint gonna hit me he just wants to talk and he got out the car.

I asked him why he dont wanna fight and he said he dont solve his issues like that. He said he feels sorry for me and thinks I need to get a life and some friends. He is bigger than me but he was a total AFC wuss givin me a big lecter on why I should not do things like that and all that sh*t! hahahaa. I kept shruging my shoulders and was like whatever dude!

He said hes been nice this time but if I do it again he wont be so nice and he got in his car and drove off! hahaha what a p*ssy!

Everyone is on my case but i aint scared of nothing no more and I do what I want anytime anywhere any place! You kuys can say what you want but it is cos you dont have the balls to do what I do!
 

DJDamage

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Originally posted by DrBeard
I went to college this morning and the birds bf pulled up in his car by me. I was gonna leg it but He said he aint gonna hit me he just wants to talk and he got out the car.

I asked him why he dont wanna fight and he said he dont solve his issues like that. He said he feels sorry for me and thinks I need to get a life and some friends. He is bigger than me but he was a total AFC wuss givin me a big lecter on why I should not do things like that and all that sh*t! hahahaa. I kept shruging my shoulders and was like whatever dude!

He said hes been nice this time but if I do it again he wont be so nice and he got in his car and drove off! hahaha what a p*ssy!

How he was being an AFC wuss??, he acted like a mature adult and he gave you a second chance, he is the bigger man here. There is a reason he feels sorry for you because you are an adult and you act like you are still 12. GROW THE FVCK UP! - you started with nothing and you ended up losing the girl forever(which you never had to begin with) making new enemies, and looking like a fool, good job!
 

skeeloo

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after reading those other links and this one in particular im doubting he is for real lol. for all we know he could be a super dj taking us all for a ride lol. but then again i dont think so. this guy cant be serious he is just too funny. and weird. i mean the tiger game? come on lol.
seriously is this dude for real lol
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Legend

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You told some dude's gf she looked good infront of him, and you were going to teach him to keep his mouth shut?
Yea i wish he would teach me a lesson. Wuss or not i would have destroyed him completely. Im a fairly large guy, in a completely fair fight would beat 8 out of 10 people easily.


Hoo-ahh

maybe jprjrjr wants to protect him?
 

DrBeard

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The biggest joke on here is all the haters!

I have game and you are lame. You call me a pigeon but I'm hung like a horse. I take it to your sisters with no remorse. No I aint black, but I got my rhymes down like 2pac. I'm the badass lover taking it to ya mother, making da women feel da heat while you assmonkeys beat the meat!

Don't hate the player hate the game!
 

Legend

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with that forehead of yours, your hung like a horse might be hanging for awhile.
 

Julian

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Lol this thread owns anything ive read in like a week.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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