"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The doctor just whupped ass!

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DrBeard

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So Monday im tryin to hook up with this bird I know from college and I go do some c+f on her and say "Where yo hangin out tonight?" and she says she is havin dinner at this italian restrant with her bf and I think fock it she got a bf and this is a blow off! But this chick was diging me so I m standing there and I think fock this, fock my fear! An I say to her "Ill see you there" and I walk off.

So I go and meet her and let thr jerkmonkey bf can sit there and shut is godamn mouth when I hit on her. I put on my von dutch hat and tshirt and my baggie jeans and go to the restrant. The poncey waiter tried to stop me going in cos I dress too street and I tell him I got busness to sort out with someone and walk past him.

I see the bird with her bf and I just go up and talk to her and I dont care what anyone says. She gets all embarrassed and tells me I should go and I say "you comin with me" and she is brushing me off. Then her bf asks who I am and I tell him to mind his busness and I throw his meal over him and get out of there as fast as I can!

I made him look like a spastic in front of his gal and I when I talk to her today she thinks I am a assh*le now and was neghitting me saying I am retarded and I need treatment. I said she is cute when she is angry and she walked off but she will be back!

So listen up everyone and if a girl says she has a bf say to yaself "fock fear" and make him look like a spaz and shelll be yours!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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bacchus

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lol... you're an idiot, but that was pretty fuking funny.
 

aftershock

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If this is real you are an interesting character, but I admire the guts.
 

Centaurion

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Are you serious?

You go into a restaurant, acting all 'gangstah', create a scene and throw the BF's food at him? ****. That is probably one of the most retarded things I've heard on this forum in a week (and that's saying a lot). Man, if I was the BF, I'd file charges against you for assult, and/or whopped your ass.


Troll.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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thefonz

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Ok, Terrific!
 

Centaurion

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1) the chick did blow you off
2) she was having a romantic dinner with her bf
3) you come barging in, creating a scene
4) you look like a fool

No, I dont think anyone is 'with you' on this tne. And yes, you were out of order. Being a 'DJ' is not about being a totally jerk-off. What you did was stupid.
 

coolguy676767

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Dude that has got to be one of the most retarded, ignorant, immature, pointless thing I have ever seen. Yeah let us all go out and do that. So all your saying is we have to act like a 7 year old bully who didnt get his way. The other guy was right, you are an even bigger AFC now. I mean if you were a true DJ you would have been out hitting on other chicks that night. But she knows that you went completely out of your way to try and fight and out muscle the other guy just to get with her. No you might have ruined everything for the other guy, because he will doubt her form now on, nice job bro, I would have straight up jacked up your face till someone pulled me off of you if I were him.

Go read the bible or something.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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JonJack

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I actually believe that you came out of the whole incident looking more spastic than the girl's boyfriend.

If you truly believe that she'll be back, I say you're delusional. Give us one good reason why you think she will be back anyway.

Your actions were weird, uncalled for and down-right non-sensical. Everyone probably was asking themselves what sort of drugs you were on. You were irrational and no one will be remotely interested in a person who behaves and acts in a manner that will be considered by the general public as being mentally retarded.

Dude, you've gotta return to Earth man.
 

DJDamage

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Originally posted by DrBeard
So Monday im tryin to hook up with this bird I know from college and I go do some c+f on her and say "Where yo hangin out tonight?"


C&F you are suppose to be funny and make her laugh, while having enough good confident to pull this off. I think she was laughing at you because you sound fake. You are not a thug nor a gangster, you are a wannabe.

and she says she is havin dinner at this italian restrant with her bf and I think fock it she got a bf and this is a blow off! But this chick was diging me so I m standing there and I think fock this, fock my fear! An I say to her "Ill see you there" and I walk off.
She is not digging you if she mentions an actual date with her boyfriend( its more like hint hint I am spoken for, now buzz off). If she was digging you, she wouldn't have mention him at all.

So I go and meet her and let thr jerkmonkey bf can sit there and shut is godamn mouth when I hit on her. I put on my von dutch hat and tshirt and my baggie jeans and go to the restrant. The poncey waiter tried to stop me going in cos I dress too street and I tell him I got busness to sort out with someone and walk past him.
not even going to touch that.

I see the bird with her bf and I just go up and talk to her and I dont care what anyone says. She gets all embarrassed and tells me I should go and I say "you comin with me" and she is brushing me off. Then her bf asks who I am and I tell him to mind his busness and I throw his meal over him and get out of there as fast as I can!.
I made him look like a spastic in front of his gal and I when I talk to her today she thinks I am a assh*le now and was neghitting me saying I am retarded and I need treatment. I said she is cute when she is angry and she walked off but she will be back! !.
You come on invited to someone elses date, disrespect her and him, you throw food at him and run away and she is supposed to go gaga over you???? You ruined her night and possibly her relationship, she will NEVER EVER FORGIVE you for this. And if her Boyfriend ever catches you, you will get your share.

So listen up everyone and if a girl says she has a bf say to yaself "fock fear" and make him look like a spaz and shelll be yours!
Ever thought about seeking counceling????
 

Sart

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WHOSE ASS DID YOU WHIP?

You threw food and ran like a coward. You should have stayed so the guy could give you a wedgie, slap your face, and make you cry, but NO! you had to run. Did you run home and whack off, or did you run home, type this and then whack off?

You are a coward dude, I would love to meet you or at least see some pictures.
 

Legend

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All i can say is if a person ever did that to me, he wouldnt have been able to walk out of that place. Looks like you got off easy. Im surprised he didnt do anything actually. I think any male would have. For one you embarrassed him in front of his girl....thats alone enough for him to want to kill you. And secondly you threw his meal all over his clothes.

He may get you back still man....you're not out of the clear, at least you wouldnt be if i was that guy.

I def. got a laugh out of this post though.

If a girl has a boyfriend...its easier just to find a single chick than deal with drama from there moron bfs'.

like one time:

I remember some girl's bf wanted to fight me because i said she looked good. I confronted him face to face and he wimped out. Smart choice on his behalf i was completely ready to teach him a lesson in keeping ones month shut.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Centaurion

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bwhahahaha the pigeon guy returns from the grave!!!!!

hahahah
 

lebRambo

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HOLY SH1T!!! He does look like a pigeon! :crackup:


dude, your an absolute wanker. thats all there is to say.

Although, I guess its proof that this stuff is dangerous in the wrong (borderline retarded) hands.
 

Porky

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well, I guess this is proof that the pigeon thread really was a troll thread.
 

Sart

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HAVING SEEN THE PICTURE

Right, yeah, mate havng seen the picture I understand why you up and ran, you couldnt knock a foul off a fence on a windy day. My advice would be that you stick to something you can master. Find some fat, plain chick, marry her and tend the garden, you just dont have it in the hips for this shyte.

Its not just your look, its the stupid ass grin behind the look. You are a coward, gutless, a keyboard jockey and probably still cherry. The fact that you thought ANYONE here would support you should give you at least some clue as to how far off the mark you really are. Its called the common denominator....you versus...everyone.

I have some haters in here, mainly geeks, you being the latest probably, but you dont have haters, just s bunch of guys who kind of know someone like you. The guy who you only invite to the party if he brings a carton, he gets drunk after 2 beers, you pisss him off and finish the grog.

You should probably leave cause you have been here a long time and obviously know absolutely NOTHING.
 

Caldus

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Originally posted by DrBeard
Then her bf asks who I am and I tell him to mind his busness and I throw his meal over him and get out of there as fast as I can!
Oh my God I can't stop laughing at how dumb this was. What the **** were you thinking? You are one crazy ****er.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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