The toilet is the ONLY important thing.
It's the easiest thing for DJ's to neglect about their latrine. Guys stand up to pee, so we only mildly care if the toilet's dirty. Girls have to put their bare arses on the porcelain 6 or more times a day. If they don't, they do the "hover" move. Women CAN'T WAIT to use your toilet. It is another one of their sh!t tests - one that guys always fail. Is the guy a playa who's actually a slob, or a guy who's got his act together and has good, clean habits.
I've done practical experiments to prove the importance. I've left my pad trashed and brought over two chicks. For one girl, everything was trashed, including the toilet. For the other (the very next day) everything was just as trashed, but the toilet was sparkling (I'll get to the definition of "clean toilet" later). They both were initially uncomfortable with my crib, but it was easy to put them at ease. When these girls went to the bathroom, however, both had dramatically different expressions when they exited-and the nights went in completely different directions. First girl got sketchy/dodgy and wanted out. Second girl came out and started blabbering on and on about my toilet, got touchy/feely and wanted in my bedroom. Your pad can be completly sterile, if your toilet is gross, you are gross. It says a lot about your hygiene habits.
You're probably thinking, "You must be joking, it's just a toilet."
PAY ATTENTION:
You've done all this work to show a girl your value and how different you are. You finally get them back to your macked-out crib, and you get lumped back into the chump category by her because you've got a "crapper"? No way, you continue the shock and awe with an insanely clean toilet.
Insanely clean? A guy's idea of a clean toilet is not having a deuce floating around in the bowl. What you are shooting for is a toilet that is cleaner than a woman would keep her own. You're shooting for a toilet that she's not scared to have sex on. Put on some headphones and take some time on that baby. Get rid of the rust/hard water stains in the bowl. Get in every crack and crevice to get that nasty cheese out of there. Between the tank and bowl, around the hardware and hinges for the seat and lid, and around the floor all have nasty cheese built up in the cracks. Every surface you see, and even the ones you don't, should be free of pee/water spots, lint, and hairs. Now, if someone dared you to for $20, you shouldn't hesitate to eat off of it. Now it's clean.
Uggghh... now you gotta keep it clean.
I'm no slouch, let me help you.
We, as guys, are pretty lethargic when it comes to maintaining a clean anything. But, we are diligent about keeping our cars spotless? I had a Mr. Wizard/MacGyver moment and crossed technologies. Look at your car's paint. There's a bunch of water spots on it right? What do you use on the paint to stop water spotting? Wax. Regular freakin' car wax. Wax fills the imperfections and micro-scratches and helps repel water and makes it shine. You guessed it, I wax my toilet. I waxed the toilet and it's awesome. Pee and miss on purpose and you'll see how awesome. And, wax makes maintenance so much easier. I saw how well wax worked on the toilet and waxed the shower, tub, faucets and sink too! Regular car paste wax keeps your bathroom cleaner longer. Try it once for yourself. Don't ever let the secret out! Just as you are thinking I'm a freak, so will everyone think the same of you.
Another sh!t test: the seat up/seat down game.
Women want to train all mankind to lift the seat, squirt, then put seat back down. Bullsh!t. Only a wussy afc would get suckered into that. I've learned to trump them at their own game.
I have a cat. My cat would never drink out of his water dish. Instead, he would hop up on the toilet seat and drink the fresher water. He'd make a mess and leave water spots all over from splashing. So, I got him a "water fountain" and put it next to the toilet. He wouldn't use it until I started putting the lid down. Once he started using it, I moved the water fountain back by his food and out of the bathroom. But if I left the lid up, he'd drink from the toilet. So my habit was to leave both the seat and lid down.
Then women come over, use the toilet, and leave the lid up and seat down. So rude, so disrespectful. And of course, the cat gets all up in the toilet and splashes around and makes a mess of my waxed toilet. I'm not playing this control game with a chick, I am the man and I let her know it. I come out of the bathrooom scowling and take the opportunity to assert my manhood.
Me: "Dammit! Put the lid down when you're done."
Every chick: "buh, well I didn ..I'm sorry."
Me: (In a firm, loudish voice but slowly and clearly) "I'm not playing this seat up/seat down game. If I have to screw around lifting seats and putting them down again, so do you - fair is fair. Whatever your rules are at your place are fine, but, my house, my toilet, my rules: leave the lid down."
Another thing that I have in my DJ bathroom: stacks and stacks of Porno mags under the sink. I mean stacks - I inherited someone's collection of about 300 mags - and people buy more for me all the time. Read all the posts and articles about not hiding your sexuality, then try and tell me this is a bad thing to do. I can't even begin to tell you how many comments I've gotten, and every time, I've got new and different smooth sh!t to say in response.
example:
Her: (coming out of bathroom, sarcastically
"Nice porn."
Me: Thanks, I inherited a collection. Which ones were you checking out? Penthouse? Club? (then I start looking her over as though I'm noticing arousal.)
You know damn well she grabbed one and started thumbing through it while she was sitting there.
Her: (The initial "I wasn't" look on her face fades to "matter-of-factual") Actually, I was looking at a "Shaved".
Me: "Mmmm... Shaved."
I would like to finish by saying: the DJ bathroom should be one that promotes comfort. If a woman is comfortable hanging out her bare as$ there...
But, have something sexual in your bathroom (like porn or nude art/sculpture) that will have her striking up a conversation when she comes out. That way, it eases some of the "bathroom break" clumsiness/akwardness, and, gets the convo heading towards sex.
