"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Difficult Concept of "Casual Dating" within African countries

Frank2500

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For the five years in which I've been living and working in this central African nation, I have come to discover something quite interesting. While I'm not attempting to generalize or speak about all African women, what I have noticed so far however, is that a very good number of African women, unlike in the US and Europe, aren't very comfortable at all with the concept of casual dating. To some degree, one of course still finds a number of African women in their early to mid twenties who state openly that they aren't yet ready to settle down and are merely seeking a fling/a good time-that is, fun and excitement. But more often, the majority of African women tend to immediately consider almost all men whom they date as potential husbands...even when the latter may not yet be mentally or psychologically prepared for marriage.



In most of these countries with very high unemployment and poverty rates, if you're a young man who happens to work for a good company/enterprise, you're very often perceived as a good catch. Consequently, a woman whom you hooked up with but without the intent of getting involved with her as a longterm/potential marriage partner begins to see you that way instead. And should you reveal the truth that you didn't yet have marriage in mind when you guys hooked up...it often hurts them so much that they tend to take it personally and even start to consider you as an enemy.


My philosophy has always been to be honest right off the bat with the women I've so far dated here. That honesty has caused some of them to walk away but in the end, the most important thing is that I have felt at peace. I've never been one to make a promise to a woman while knowing fully well that I wouldn't be able to keep it. The concept of casual dating on this end is absolutely out of the question especially with women in their 30s. In the search for father figures for their children, they often fall for almost any man who promises to get married to them. Unfortunately, many men here take advantage of that vulnerability and immediately disappear particularly after having been intimate with them.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Zarky

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Yeah most dating advice on the internet is for Western, first-world countries. If you're dating in the Congo, Pakistan, or some lost tribe in the depths of the Amazon jungles, YMMV.
 

Boilermaker

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good to see you are back.

I see you are having a good time judging from your Zarkiean humor once again at work.
 

MatureDJ

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I will presume that you are a Western raised, African heritage man.

I am a white man, but I will take a swipe at this. I would think that upper class African women (which I would think you would be swinging with) are uncorrupted in the way that Western women (European or African heritage) are - and thus they actually view dating as a means to marriage, not something to be enjoyed for its own sake. This is actually a good thing, IMHO, as Western women used to act like this as well before the sexual revolution.
 
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