The difference between pick-up and natural game

[Alphathree]

The art of "pick up" will not solve any of the problems that anyone here has. How do you know if you're doing "pick up?" If interacting with women feels:

-- intimidating
-- cold
-- calculated
-- standoff-ish
-- anxious
-- tricky

"Natural" game feels like this:

-- relaxing
-- fun
-- interesting
-- centered (hard to explain)
-- warm and fuzzy
-- physical

So long as you are doing things in the first category and not the second, you might score more women occasionally, but you will never "feel" it.

I've been at this every day for almost two years now, and I come to this site to try to share my experiences in the hopes that they might help one or two other people.

There is a state you can reach. It takes a lot of effort. It's like there's this force that lets you glide through life on a cloud. You'll simply do what you want to do in each moment and you won't need anything from anyone. You won't have any tactics or techniques or canned lines. You won't even _care_.

Women will just smell this on you and they'll approach you, introduce themselves, make excuses to talk to you. And you'll find your standards just going higher and higher and higher. You'll love all of the women for who they are, but you'll choose the ones you really dig.

You see, all of these times when people tell you "you need to be unattached to outcome", "you need to qualify", "you need to lead", "you need to be confident."

Yeah, try remembering all of that. It has to be internalized. When you believe, you will see, it will all fall into place. You won't need to 'remember' these things. You will just be them.

It's all so clear in retrospect.

You guys are chasing after p ussy, and that's great, that's what you were built to do. But there's a greater pursuit, a greater goal, and that goal is to not need things outside of yourself.

The irony is that once you give it up, you will get it without effort.

Let me tell you that it feels better to have most women you meet be attracted to you than it does to sleep with 1 attractive woman by tricking her into bed with you. It feels good all the time, every day, and when you pick the woman you want, it'll feel just great with her.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Nice post man, I still havent done 1 approach yet, im to nervous for so many reasons. Ill go into detail if you want me to later

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by qweretyuiopas
Nice post man, I still havent done 1 approach yet, im to nervous for so many reasons. Ill go into detail if you want me to later

I have done exactly 1 approach. It felt stupid. That was nearly two years ago.

Everything else I've done have been introductions, not "approaches". Jesus, it sounds like you're trying to slay a dragon or something.

"Approach from the north. Go for the heart. Watch out for the firey breath."

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Geez just hit me in the head with a bat :woo: fine I just used a word that everybody else uses and you just pick me out and talk me down geez, I just made a post it isnt my mindset to 'approach' I just used a word that was common around here.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by qweretyuiopas
Geez just hit me in the head with a bat :woo: fine I just used a word that everybody else uses and you just pick me out and talk me down geez, I just made a post it isnt my mindset to 'approach' I just used a word that was common around here.

I can't forgive you for this error.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Whatever, Ill hold back my tears

 

[Fluke]

Id agree that it can come off as contrived like you're playing a game of chess or something but im not one to wait around for someone to introduce me to someone.

Sure it happens and it is a HELLUVA lot easier to pick up through social circle but what about that tons of other girls you miss out on that coulda been great by not approaching at all?

Once you've done enough approaches it all becomes much more relaxed and integrated into yourself and therefore becoming more "natural". I think the main difference between us is I never feel like im tricking a women but then again I dont go in with canned lines either. I think thats what you are talking about here.

"There is a state you can reach. It takes a lot of effort. It's like there's this force that lets you glide through life on a cloud. You'll simply do what you want to do in each moment and you won't need anything from anyone. You won't have any tactics or techniques or canned lines. You won't even _care_."

I think you are mainly uncomfortable with the "indirect" way most people here go about picking up. Most of the characteristics you list on "Natural" are what I feel when im talking to a chick but I would not call myself a natural, to me the game in itself is fun.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Who is that post directed at Fluke?

 

[Fluke]

Was replying to the original post but I think alot of people feel the same way as alpha as far as how it feels for them to actively pick up a girl. But thats because it is definitly "unnatural" and terrifying at first for someone who has never done that type of thing before.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Yeah you are right