The Dating Wizard: DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT

[theSpeculator]

This is a newsletter from The Dating Wizard, which I highly recommend for those who are serious in learning how to attract quality women. I think this is a good article that is written by an intelligent man that I think truly knows how the game really works.

Also, the poll is there to tell me what kind of material are you guys looking for so I can help you all in the Testament. So take the time to do the poll. Don't tell me you don't have one second to click one answer, otherwise I will fly over to your hometown and give your lazy fat ass the ass kicking it needs. ENJOY!

DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT

I’d like to clear up A PERVADING MYTH that
is holding guys back from success with women.
Guys are so worried about not chasing women that
they do all kinds of inane things to try to make a
woman who they are ACTUALLY interested in
think that somehow he is not interested in her. I
used to do dumb stuff like this several years ago.

Things like seeing a girl I was interested in, and
then making sure to not say anything to her for a
while so it supposedly looked like I was not
interested in her. And then, in my genius, I would
THEN start the interaction LATER, to show how
“cool” I was.

Ugh. In reality, she knew all along I was interested,
because she had probably seen this type of thing
about a thousand and one times at least, and when I
had success, it was IN SPITE of this stuff, NOT
BECAUSE of it! In other words, taking action is
better than taking no action and once I got the
ball rolling, things picked up steam. But you get
to learn from my mistakes, as I did. So I know
what I’m talking about because of all those
mistakes, in about a thousand different areas of this
topic, from approaching, to making the conversation,
to building trust, to handling tests, to getting physical,
to long term relationships.

But I digress, so back to the main point:
If you are going to try so hard to “not pursue”, then
how the heck are you going to get started? By talking
to the girls through some kind of mask with a sign on
the forehead that says “I don’t like you?” I mean, girls
are not stupid, they know you are chatting them up,
and the other thing is, girls ENJOY this when you do
it right, when you do it with STYLE. It’s not like we
are the enemy, or they are the enemy. It’s not like
we have to (or even could) TRICK them into chatting
or anything else. It’s about making women feel GOOD
about this so that they enjoy the process just as much,
and the truth is that doing this is neither about tricking
women, but NOR is it about making the game boring
by giving up all your cards at once.

Think about why we go to a movie: We ENJOY the
process of having the hero go through a bunch of hurdles
before winning the victory. The hero, who we relate to
and feel emotion through, never just has an instant victory,
because that would cheat us out of the fun of getting there.
Getting there really is half the fun. The same is true for
the women you are approaching, and if you got approached
half as much as women, you would feel the same way.

But if a guy is going to be so uptight about not revealing
anything, at that rate, the guy will take years to get anywhere
with a girl if he even manages to get out of the starting blocks.
I mean, if showing a woman you are interested in her ruins
things, does that mean that the guys who I have taught who
have girls making out with them within minutes of meeting
them in a club, are somehow failures because they didn’t hide
their interest? Unless you think that making out with a girl is
a sign of NON INTEREST in her, lol. (by the way, this is
pretty easy to do, and not a strategy I advise for various
reasons, but it certainly proves that you don’t have to act like
you are NOT interested in a woman in order to have a woman
be receptive to you. Certainly it proves that you don’t have
to act like you not interested for long.)

The truth is, having CONVICTION behind your actions
with women is MORE IMPORTANT than being this
supposedly brilliant sneaky pick up artist. Don’t give the
game away, don’t make the movie end before it starts,
make her work for it a little, yes, definitely, but don’t get
swept up in this façade that you are faking a girl out.
Behaving in a way that shows you are willing to back up
your interest with ACTION is a BIG PART of your success
in both creating and sustaining a woman’s attraction to you.

When I say conviction, I mean that whatever you do with
a woman, do it like you mean it. If you are walking up to her,
walk up to her with the idea in your mind that she has been
waiting for this moment her entire life. Don’t take the
roundabout route to where she is standing, etc. If you are
in a first telephone conversation with a certain woman, don’t
say something like “yeah, we should meet up sometime”.
Instead, PLAN the time, the activity, whatever the heck it is.
Be specific. MEAN it.

If you are giving a woman a good-natured tease, do it like
you MEAN IT, don’t do it half-assed or apologetically.
Do it in FUN, do it in a truly playful way.
If you do it half assed, you end up only making a woman
think you are weird and she has no idea of what you are
really trying to communicate. When you do it right,
a woman understands the underlying tone and responds
in kind, and the game is “on”.

In my bootcamps, workshops and consultations, one of
the many major areas I work on improving in clients is
obliterating all their “inner static” going on internally
that is making their actions come across in a weak way,
whether it’s the initial approach, the conversation, or
even getting physical. I’ll figure out what the problem
is and do whatever is required to solve it, whether it’s a
tactical issue like body language or whether it’s a deeper
issue with negative and erroneous paradigms of women.
Eradicating this problem immediately triggers a
tremendous improvement in women’s reactions to them.

What is happening is that suddenly everything the guy
does now is injected with charm.

So what has actually happened here?
What is the difference that women see, hear and
feel from these changes?

The answer is that now everything the guy does is
coming across like he MEANS IT.

One of the greatest fallacies is that “you have to be a jerk
to attract a woman”. No, the truth is that to attract any
woman, especially the QUALITY women, you have to show
that you MEAN BUSINESS, which is very different than
being a jerk. In fact, when you mean business, when you
interact with a woman in a way that it’s obvious you are
not going to be deterred easily, this HEIGHTENS a
woman’s attraction. The thing is that you have to do all
this from a perspective of STRENGTH, not of desperation.

You see if you REALLY mean business, if you really
MEAN it when you approach a woman, then why on
earth would you be acting all kissing up? If you are
kissing up, what you really mean is that you feel this
will NOT WORK, and so that is why you must
compensate by doing all this extra fake nicey-nicey stuff.
It’s not GENUINE nice stuff, it’s “I’m not worthy”.
Once a woman already earns your affection, then
a “nice” action become far more genuine, because
it’s clearly not something you are doing to compensate
for some flaw.

So in essence the weak approach says you don’t have
the value to actually mean business. The more fake
nicey-nicey stuff, the more it seems you
DON’T MEAN BUSINESS.

The more it seems like you are saying that what
you really are aiming for is be on the sidelines
and take some scraps.

For example, if a woman sees that you are staring
at her for a while and NOT TAKING ACTION,
she feels you are a far bigger jerk than the guy who
just does something about it. Or worse, she feels
you are a creepy stalker type. Sometimes a woman
actually feels that maybe there is something wrong
with HER and that’s why you are not doing anything.
Sometimes she feels that maybe you are just a wuss.
In just about every case though, being hesitant just
makes her feel worse and makes you seem worse.

The truth is that women get MORE turned on when
a guy is NOT hiding his masculinity and makes it
clear that he won’t be stopped. The problem is that
guys think that this means stating things DIRECTLY,
like telling a woman they desire her. Which is not
necessarily the worst thing to do, but it’s far MORE
effective if instead of that, you get her EMOTIONALLY
INVOLVED in the process, and getting her thinking,
by suggesting your intention with your body language,
tonality, sense of humor, and showing YOUR WORTH
through things like teasing, etc.

It’s ironic, because some of these behaviours SEEM
ON THE SURFACE to imply that you are pushing
her away, but really you are communicating to her
that you mean business – you are communicating
this to her because you see, if she is hot, she ALREADY
KNOWS she can probably get you, so she knows you
are not really saying you don’t like her, she knows that
what you are really saying is that “I have the worth,
I believe I have worth, and thus you can bet your
ass I can actually go through with this unlike all
these dudes who can just act like goofballs.”

This is actually the more EFFECTIVE way for
REALLY LETTING A WOMAN KNOW YOU
ARE INTERESTED, and for letting her know you
are not a wuss. Because you see, any idiot can spit
out the words “you are beautiful” and so it means
nothing. Her emotions have become desensitized
to it, in fact since she has heard it so much from
guys who are UNCOOL and who can’t follow
through, that it has become synonymous in her
mind with the guy feeling that he is unworthy.

 

[theSpeculator]

This also helps explain why women sometimes
end up with the “wrong guys”, because at least
he had the wherewithal to carry things through.

So again, the fake nicey-nicey guy is boiling down
to him saying “I don’t mean business because I
can’t possibly believe you would really be
attracted to me. That’s why I’m being overly
nice”.

There really is no point in approaching a woman
with an attitude of “let’s just see what happens”
unless you are at the complete absolute beginner
phase. A complete beginner will benefit because
at least he sees the world doesn’t end just because
he approached a woman. But otherwise, you are
communicating the wrong things to a woman if
you take this attitude. You are going in to WIN,
because you KNOW YOU CAN.

Most girls do NOT like the idea of a guy just playing
around with them for conversation or for anything
else unless they (the girls) are desperate. They have
to figure out where to categorize you, as guy with
potential, guy they are attracted to, or guy who is
just wasting their time and doesn’t plan to do
anything.

So when a guy behaves like he MEANS IT,
when he asks for the number or email or
whatever, girls sense this guy is not screwing
around with them. That’s part of the reason
women need to test you, and why sometimes
they might act a bit *****y when you ask for
their number or approach them. Not only must
they test to see if you are genuine, but they must
also test to see if you are a dumbass who later on
will get confused about what he wants.

Again, at no time am I advocating kissing up, I’m
advocating having DIRECTION, and FOCUS.
It’s far more attractive for a woman to get on board
a ship that has direction than a ship that doesn’t
even know where it wants to go, a ship that SHE
will have to figure out and steer. Especially in our
culture, even with supposedly all the desire women
have for exact equality, the truth is that almost
NO WOMAN ON EARTH wants a guy that can’t
lead the situation.

Girls LIKE to be pursued, when it’s from a guy who
is DESIRABLE and confident and who does it with
style and makes it kinda fun and doesn’t give away
the complete challenge or mystery. Being pursued
doesn’t mean calling ten times a day! That’s
not being pursued, that’s being SENTENCED.
But otherwise, girls have been conditioned to this
ROLE and it’s FUN for them to PLAY that role the
same way it’s fun for YOU to be THE MAN once
you get used to it. If you don’t act like you mean
business, you are going against the very deep
social conditioning in her mind and it will be
unlikely that she will feel attraction.

There’s another dimension to this whole “really
meaning it” behaviour. When you go up to a
woman like you mean it, that means you believe
it will PROBABLY WORK OUT in your favour.
If you believe it will work in your favour, then you
will not do the subtle things that so many guys do
to sabotage themselves. Guys sabotage themselves
because it’s easier for THEMSELVES to ruin an
interaction ON PURPOSE with a woman than it is
to have HER ruin the interaction.

So a lot of guys who are perfectly normal the rest of
the time will suddenly start behaving like a goofball
or a jerk when they start interacting with a woman
they are attracted to. They do this so that they have
an EXCUSE later for why things didn’t work out,
and excuse that protects THEM from having to
blame themselves. “Hey after all haha I was
being such a jerk haa”. (laughter used to
cover pain)

So when guys are acting like goofballs, jerks, or
show-offs, they are really showing the woman that
they DON’T MEAN IT, that they don’t really want
to get to know her or get closer to her physically.
The woman feels that after all, the guy was acting
like a screwball. Now, some women can read right
through this, they KNOW the guy was attracted, but
then because he had no guts and instead had to act
like a jerk, they reject him because women aren’t
attracted to guys who are so afraid of being rejected.

In a real interaction with a woman, once the teasing
and playfulness has been done, there comes a time
for just being a normal human being and having some
normal conversation. This shows that you are not
trying to be a character, that you are comfortable to
also be relaxed and normal and that you are not
worried if she is going to reject your normal self.
The irony again is that by “exposing yourself” and
just being normal and not a goofball or jerk, you are
showing that you believe you have worth and that she
will probably find that too, and that if she DOESN’T
feel that you have worth, you are still going to live
your life and enjoy it.

So, in the DEEPEST SENSE, you are showing again,
that you MEAN BUSINESS, because you know that
for things to REALLY WORK, you can’t play some
character forever, and that you aren’t about to start
playing one now- you are showing that you know that
for things to work between the two of you for real, you
can’t play some character. Coming across as a goofball
is just hiding from reality and symbolizes that you
aren’t serious.

Keep in mind that she will also feel that since
YOU can be real, so can SHE, and this is really
a relief for her as well. This is how you develop
a real connection, because you are being real,
and so now she feels so can she. By both being
“real” and not fakey nice and not goofball or jerky,
you can really get a powerful vibe going.

All this good stuff can’t happen if you aren’t
prepared to risk rejection, if rejection means
such a big deal to you that you have to pretend
to be some character, so that it will be the
character that gets rejected if there is indeed a
rejection. But the irony is that even if the
character bit doesn’t get you rejected initially,
I can guarantee you that either it will eventually
show and make you look very uncool, or the
pretending will drive you nuts and make you
miserable. So if you think about it, it’s not a
winning strategy no matter what. Your ONLY
choice is to MEAN BUSINESS and expect her
to want to go for it.

Again, MEANING IT doesn’t mean GIVING
YOURSELF AWAY. It doesn’t mean that you
will be an easy catch. It doesn’t mean that you
don’t retain an air of mystery. It doesn’t mean
that you RUIN ALL THE FUN. It just means
that YOU ARE INTERESTED, and that if she
can impress you and be fun for the rest of the
journey, she stands a good chance of you taking
action on your interest.

When you mean it, you don’t try to show off
how great you are. I see a LOT of this going
on out there, guys that just can’t stop showing
off when talking to girls. It’s TOO OBVIOUS
the guy is TRYING to show how great he is.
Women see this ALL THE TIME and KNOW
this is pathetic low self esteem. If a guy is showing
off how great he is, he’s really saying to her is that
he doesn’t trust her to like him, and that he must
inflate his real self-worth because he is not really
desirable. She will basically take his showing off
as a sign of him REALLY NOT BEING
NATURALLY WORTHY of being treated well.

So the guy is saying through showing off that he
believe that he and her could NEVER REALLY
BE TOGETHER NATURALLY. And THAT
says that obviously he can’t REALLY mean
business deep down, because how can he
mean business when he can’t even PICTURE her
actually be attracted to the real him!

When you mean it, you also go in acting like
a MAN, leading the way, coming up with where
you will meet, initiating the physical stuff,
because you know that women can’t feel
attraction to a feminine man, so you are
RESPONSIBLE to not come across like a
whiner, loser, lame, pathetic, needs help, etc.
Because you MEAN to be her MAN.

A related point about getting physical- do it
like you mean it. Sex shouldn’t be some
ho-hum thing, because if you aren’t attracted
to her, then what are you doing there, and if
you are attracted, then why aren’t you doing
something about it? This is why a lot of guys
actually do better with girls they are attracted
to than girls they are not, because the girl can
sense that the guy MEANS it. And that means
a lot of good things to her.

And if you would like to learn the most powerful ways
of coming across like you MEAN IT, so that the vibes
between you and her will be exploding with chemistry,
then I seriously recommend you download my eBook,
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women,
IMMEDIATELY. This is the launch pad to a new reality.
You’ll be coming back to it again and again, as it’s
packed with critical subtleties that you will appreciate
more and more with each reading.

Download it now at:

http://thedatingwizard.com/the_dating_wizard.htm

The NEXT STEP in your developing your skillset is
to experience my advanced live programs and services.

My exclusive 3-Day Bootcamp is a one-on-one environment
where I will personally instruct you and ensure that you
perfect your skills in even the toughest venues.

To find out more about this powerful experience,
go to:

http://www.thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp.htm

The Dating Wizard Live Seminar is an opportunity
to learn the most advanced understandings of attraction
in a comfortable, seminar style environment.

To find out more or to register for this special seminar,
being held in Toronto, June 11th-12th, go to:

http://www.thedatingwizard.com/seminar.html

To take advantage of a One-On-One Consultation
either in person or over the phone, go to:

http://thedatingwizard.com/1-1consultations.htm

Till next time,

Michael W.

 

[penkitten]

did you write this book ?

 

[theSpeculator]

No, I'm just reposting his newsletter.

 

[Bigworm]

dating wizard is just a keyboard jockey... and his article are vague and boring..what is up with the polls are u too insecure.

 

[theSpeculator]

No, I do not think he is a keyboard jockey. From what I have read from him, he seems to understand how attraction works at a much deeper level than many of you here. I know because I can relate his ideas to my experiences. And he largely tells how things work straight up.

I do not think he is too vague and his articles are not boring to me. I think he is much better than the David DeAngelo that many here have praise. To someone that have no experience, David DeAngelo ideas seems like "golden knowledge." But to me and other who are experienced, David DeAngelo just write very basic and simplistic materials that are sometime inaccurate to the real world, BUT sounds good only on paper.

As for the polls, I am experimenting with them to learn how the majority of people here think. I know the polls sucks since many do not take them and there are too few to get an accurate reading. I had expected that many posters here will not like his material since some will contradict to what they believe is true here at SoSuave. But I will continue to do them and I will continue to post his articles for the VERY few here that are willing to learn.

One of the biggest myth I have noted here is that many of you believe that attraction is easy. But consider this: If attraction was easy, then how come many guys aren't getting laid, even the guys that are currently here?

I believe it takes a high level of both social and intuitive intelligence to be a real true Don Juan. Most of you here are just average, not much better than most guys out there. The only difference is that you know (But do not understand) about attraction.

The real True Don Juan here are the guys who take what they know from Sosuave.com, think about it, analyze it, go out and experiment, reflect on it, then do it over...and eventually (through their hard work) finally understand it.

I dare you and any of you so called "master" Don Juan, that if your girl every come across me, I will steal her from you faster than you can type "what happened?". Yes, I am that bold. I would wish to one day meet one of you keyboard poster (I know your names because I have been keeping a list of legitimate poster and bad poster) here, so I can show you who's really the man.

As for the above article. It makes sense to me because when I think about it, a girl (and I mean the high quality girl with beauty and strong character) will only care if you show you are interested. Otherwise if you didn't care, why should she wait for you when she can pay attention to the other guy that care. Even if you are the sexiest guy on earth, a girl will not chase after you if you do not show you are interested.

When I walk around the mall and sometime see guys that has the "I'm the prize" look. I laugh because I see him as an idiot. And if I can see it, there is a good chance that girls will see it too, since it is widely believe that girls are very good a picking up sublte body language.

The Testament is still on and it is for the few of you here that wants the straight, no bull$hit advice from real True Don Juan without the keyboard jockeys to mess it up.

 

[Bonhomme]

Absolutely correct

I cannot list how many women I had majorly attracted who I lost by playing games, rather than striking while the iron is hot.

Absolutely 100% right on.

The difficult part is the de-programming.