theSpeculator
Senior Don Juan
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This is another short article from Michael, "The Dating Wizard," about how to strike a conversation with a women that creates attraction. If you like his articles, I recommend checking out his e-book because it's A LOT better and goes into A LOT more details.
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CHEMICAL CONVERSATION
One of the biggest challenges we have when we see a woman we would like to approach, is figuring out what to say to trigger her feelings of "CHEMISTRY" for you.
Now, I've already explained the importance of not acting desperate and not kissing up to a woman especially when you first meet her, so you know that things like complimenting a stunning woman on her beauty is an absolute no-no.
The trick to figuring out what to say is to focus on incorporating into your conversation either teasing things about the woman you are approaching, or focusing on using the immediate environment and situation to your advantage by working them into the conversation in a way that SPAWNS THE "CHEMICALS" of attraction. And for these chemicals to be fired off, you must work these elements into your conversation in a way that also seems NATURAL and INTERESTING and COMPELLING.
To make it seem natural, you must make the whole approach seem as if it no effort was required, and that it "JUST HAPPENED" spontaneously, and therefore was just "so magical" and therefore a work of FATE. So, for example, you cannot let a woman see you coming toward her from a mile away to talk to her.
Don't smile in that submissive way when you are talking to her, as if you are her little Chihuahua that runs to her and is nodding to fulfill her requests.
You have to make it look NATURAL, and that means it can't look like you are trying to win her over or win her approval or kiss up to her. If you ever watch any movie where there is a male and female lead with some romance going on, you'll see that the initial conversations are always laced with some healthy tension between the two, where they are showing INDEPENDENCE and NOT showing ass-kissing.
As a matter of fact, it's almost a cliché that the lovers always start off by clashing, they seem almost opposites, and they are NOT getting along, and we all know that pretty soon they will be rolling in the sheets together.
Now, I'm not saying to start off a conversation with an argument, but by not showing YOUR interest (i.e. by being a bit aloof yet at the same time not acting COLD or BITTER) and at the same time SPARKING HER INTEREST, (with fun conversation or teasing) you are naturally revving up the chemistry, because it sets a CHALLENGING goal up: How do I GET this other person, how do I get over the obstacles that this person is presenting?
While we are comparing to movies, remember that the characters in movies don't talk about boring things - or the audience would fall asleep. And you don't the woman in front of you to fall asleep while you're talking to her either!
INTERESTING TOPICS
So it's a good idea to talk about the things that we human beings tend to enjoy talking about- whether it's juicy tabloid gossip or whether it's the war of the sexes, certain topics just have appeal. Also, if YOU are passionate about something that women might find interesting, such as winemaking, traveling, etc, and you can CONVEY that passion, you will likely instill some of that excitement into the woman you are speaking with.
This is one of the reasons it's a good idea to HAVE A LIFE, and have interesting hobbies, and to actually READ interesting books. It gives you interesting things to talk about and share, and it enriches yourself as a person. And if you aren't a skydiver, it's still more interesting to discuss SKYDIVING in general than how to tie your shoes or use Velcro.
In many ways, when you are speaking to a woman, you want to simulate that experience of going to a movie:
We go to movies to FEEL certain emotions that we desire to experience, but could not often experience in real life because it would be either impossible or too dangerous or the real life version of the emotion would be too INTENSE. If you were REALLY on the TITANIC, you would probably not have enjoyed it.
----------------------
CHEMICAL CONVERSATION
One of the biggest challenges we have when we see a woman we would like to approach, is figuring out what to say to trigger her feelings of "CHEMISTRY" for you.
Now, I've already explained the importance of not acting desperate and not kissing up to a woman especially when you first meet her, so you know that things like complimenting a stunning woman on her beauty is an absolute no-no.
The trick to figuring out what to say is to focus on incorporating into your conversation either teasing things about the woman you are approaching, or focusing on using the immediate environment and situation to your advantage by working them into the conversation in a way that SPAWNS THE "CHEMICALS" of attraction. And for these chemicals to be fired off, you must work these elements into your conversation in a way that also seems NATURAL and INTERESTING and COMPELLING.
To make it seem natural, you must make the whole approach seem as if it no effort was required, and that it "JUST HAPPENED" spontaneously, and therefore was just "so magical" and therefore a work of FATE. So, for example, you cannot let a woman see you coming toward her from a mile away to talk to her.
Don't smile in that submissive way when you are talking to her, as if you are her little Chihuahua that runs to her and is nodding to fulfill her requests.
You have to make it look NATURAL, and that means it can't look like you are trying to win her over or win her approval or kiss up to her. If you ever watch any movie where there is a male and female lead with some romance going on, you'll see that the initial conversations are always laced with some healthy tension between the two, where they are showing INDEPENDENCE and NOT showing ass-kissing.
As a matter of fact, it's almost a cliché that the lovers always start off by clashing, they seem almost opposites, and they are NOT getting along, and we all know that pretty soon they will be rolling in the sheets together.
Now, I'm not saying to start off a conversation with an argument, but by not showing YOUR interest (i.e. by being a bit aloof yet at the same time not acting COLD or BITTER) and at the same time SPARKING HER INTEREST, (with fun conversation or teasing) you are naturally revving up the chemistry, because it sets a CHALLENGING goal up: How do I GET this other person, how do I get over the obstacles that this person is presenting?
While we are comparing to movies, remember that the characters in movies don't talk about boring things - or the audience would fall asleep. And you don't the woman in front of you to fall asleep while you're talking to her either!
INTERESTING TOPICS
So it's a good idea to talk about the things that we human beings tend to enjoy talking about- whether it's juicy tabloid gossip or whether it's the war of the sexes, certain topics just have appeal. Also, if YOU are passionate about something that women might find interesting, such as winemaking, traveling, etc, and you can CONVEY that passion, you will likely instill some of that excitement into the woman you are speaking with.
This is one of the reasons it's a good idea to HAVE A LIFE, and have interesting hobbies, and to actually READ interesting books. It gives you interesting things to talk about and share, and it enriches yourself as a person. And if you aren't a skydiver, it's still more interesting to discuss SKYDIVING in general than how to tie your shoes or use Velcro.
In many ways, when you are speaking to a woman, you want to simulate that experience of going to a movie:
We go to movies to FEEL certain emotions that we desire to experience, but could not often experience in real life because it would be either impossible or too dangerous or the real life version of the emotion would be too INTENSE. If you were REALLY on the TITANIC, you would probably not have enjoyed it.