The Cycle

[MaMo]

What I like to call The Cycle involves two things that you can do to keep a woman's interest level high or to get her to create an interest in you. The first step is to show your interest in her by showering her with attention. This will get her thinking about you as a potential mate(you must show interest in her for her to think about you). Once she gets comfortable with you giving her attention then just stop. This will make her wonder why you stopped showing interest and she will try to get you to show interest in her again because she loves the attention. The key here is to give her attention when she is *working* for it. As soon as she stops trying and takes your attention for granted repeat the cycle. Sooner or later she will wonder why she is spending so much time thinking about you. She will think it must be because she likes you very much. You must remember that you cannot become lazy on this because she will lose interest in you and like doc love says if she drops below 50% its over.

-MaMo
Live life to its fullest!

 

[mellow mel]

Very good post Mamo,
I actually do this cycle your talking about and can vouch for its effectiveness. I follows the principle of classical conditioning (for you psychology buffs) and is based on the premise that "less is more". The more attention you show in a relationship, the less valuable it is.

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Mellow

 

[Leo]

Originally posted by MaMo:
Once she gets comfortable with you giving her attention then just stop. This will make her wonder why you stopped showing interest and she will try to get you to show interest in her again because she loves the attention.

The only problem with this is that some people have a "positive feedback" response to this: You pay less attention to me, therefore I assume you're less interested, and I'll just go find someone who's more interested. I'm somewhat like this myself, and I've met many women who react like this as well. Basically, a hot girl who simply "loves attention" can get it from just about any guy, so in order for your Cycle to work, you first have to convince her that she loves YOUR attention.

Even if she does love YOUR attention, a girl who's got her priorities straight will often not waste her time on guys who seem ambiguous about their interest. Some people find ambiguity intriguing; others simply find it gutless and annoying. Bottom line: Even with the Cycle, you'll need many irons in the fire ...

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Success lies on the far side of failure. - T. J. Watson

 

[mellow mel]

Originally posted by MaMo:
The key here is to give her attention when she is *working* for it. As soon as she stops trying and takes your attention for granted repeat the cycle.

I understand what your saying Leo, but, Like MaMo said, as long as she is working for your attention, you give it to her. This does not suggest ambiguity. What it suggest is that you will match interest for interest, but, if she starts taking your interest for granted, it's time to cut back. As far as hot girls being able to get the attention they crave from any guy, well, it's like this. There can be a room full of five guys and one hot girl. Four of those guys can be throwing themselves at this girls feet, while the fifth guy looks on unimpressed. Guess which one of these guys arouses the most interest from the girl. If you guess number 5, your right. Because the question that is knawing at this girls brain is "why is he so different?" "What is so good about him that he feels like he can just ignore me while these other four guys are breaking thier neck to impress me?" Most women are vain creatures and won't come right out and admit the truth of what I'm telling you, but, all I can say is try it and see for yourself.



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Mellow

 

[Leo]

I understand what you're saying, too. All I'm pointing out is that there is a (probably small) subgroup of girls who don't put up with bull****, and these girls will walk. But that doesn't matter if you have many irons in the fire because most girls will go for it.

I tried the Cycle when I was younger, but I wasn't satisfied with the kind of women that I got with it. Basically, they were just a royal pain in the ass. These days, my keywords are low maintenance.

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Success lies on the far side of failure. - T. J. Watson

[This message has been edited by Leo (edited 05-17-2000).]

 

[Krynnster]

Originally posted by Leo:
All I'm pointing out is that there is a (probably small) subgroup of girls who don't put up with bull****, and these girls will walk.

Actually, from my experience, this group is not so small

. Personally, I will get into a relationship only with a woman who is above playing these types of games and understands that the reason she is getting my attention is not because I am a loser who has nothing better to do, but simply because I am interested in her and willing to spend time to make it work. If I am being attentive to her and that causes her to lose interest, then... well... she is obviously the wrong type of woman and I don't want to have a relationship with her. I understand all the risks associated with being overly attentive and appearing to be needy, but I don't think that defining these artificial "cycles" as your basic approach to relationships is the way either.

For me, being honest and direct about what I want always worked, so I don't really see the reason for these mental games, but as always, your mileage may vary...

K.

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If at first you don't succeed, don't let anybody know you've even tried - unknown.

 

[Joelb18c]

I'd have to say that everyone has valid points. I'd have to say that the "cycle" applies to girls in their teens to late twenties, or until they WANT the predictability factor in men (along with the minivan and house), which ever comes first. The only time constant attention giving has worked for me was when the girl was obsessed w/me, so it didn't matter what I did... Other than that, showering girls w/attention has gotten me nowhere. I've read that girls hate predictability. Those are my thoughts

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-Joelb18c

[This message has been edited by Joelb18c (edited 05-17-2000).]

 

[Don_090]

Like some of the other guys said the girl might end up thinking "he doesn't like me", they get fixiated on this idea and bye bye baby bye bye, if you want to play a game with a girl then hope she plays, If you want the girl badly enough, try being direct, charming and take no prisoners!

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He who laughs last thinks slowest---

 

[Anti-Dump]

MaMo,

I must RESPECTFULLY disagree with you . O.K., friend?

Almost every guy on the planet shows EXCESSIVE attention to a women. This goes on day after day, year after year. Women are bored with it. They've heard the compliments a million times. You believe a myth. You believe a women doesn't get enough attention. You believe she's starved for attention. This is not so . Every day some guy is asking her to "get together some time". Every day some guy is asking for the number. Every day some guy is telling her how beautiful she is.

When you show a women INITIAL interest like you said above, SHE BEGINS TO <<<<LOSE>>>> interest. Your theory would work if nobody was approaching these women day after day. THEN, her interest would suddenly INCREASE. But, instead, it DECREASES when you tell her how fine she looks and talks. She's BORED by attention.
So, in effect, there can be no 'Cycle'. Attention kills the deal. It might work on an unattractive lady. I'll give you that . But on attractive to beautiful. I say it BACKFIRES.

Guys, you are the final judge. Use what works for YOU. We are sharing ideas here.

 

[MaMo]

sorry if i was vague, what i meant by showering her with attention was not to tell her how fine she is, i meant by showing that you have an interest in her as a person. Now if that makes her lose interest and become bored whats the point in going after a woman like that?
I really didnt spend much time on this post actually only 5 min but i might take time and fine tune it and post a much more detailed one in the future

[This message has been edited by MaMo (edited 05-18-2000).]

 

[mellow mel]

Exactly


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Mellow

 

[Anti-Dump]

MaMo,

Dude!

Sorry I read you wrong. Your post was very good. I see what you mean. Her as a person. Yes, that's fine. Most guys aren't focused on the inside stuff. You are rare. Peace.

 

[NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER]

bump.

 

[Aztec]

I'm glad to see a topic with DJs have contradicting opinions.

Most of my pursuing life I've gone from not giving attention to a woman due to inexperience and showering her with compliments left and right...also due to inexperience. But now I have noticed that women (or girls) in this society (U.S.) crave attention and at the same time coils away. Generally, they want to play mental games--and I know they're not going to admit it. You, I mean, we have to go along with the wave.

 

[Champ]

the way i see it is that you just do whatever the hell you want with the girl...if you are being yourself or even trying the "cycle" and she doesn't like it then **** her...i don't know if yall are trying to settle down with the girls or not but if so then if they leave you, who cares..you now know they aren't the one for you and you will be glad you didn't waste time and money on her..i'm sure i'm not alone on that viewpoint..good luck with whichever method you try..peace

 

[djbr]

bumping before time eats it up!