Mind_Body_Soul
Senior Don Juan
Every single guy on here is a DJ. Yes, you reading this right now, the person sitting there reading post after post on how to approach a girl, strike up a conversation, get a #, ask for a date, what to do on the date, how to get physical, how to get sex, YOU are a DJ.
The question isn't, are you or aren't you a DJ and it's not, WHEN will I become a DJ, the question is HOW MUCH OF A DJ ARE YOU?
Let me explain. Did you ever drive around in a development and see a new plot of land being developed. First you have a big mud pit, then they dig out the foundation, then they lay concrete, then they start building the frame, then they start siding, electrical work, roofing, etc. until one day you have a completed house. But this begs two questions
1. When did that mud pit stop being a mud pit and start being a house? Was it after they laid the foundation? After the walls went up? After the roof had shingles?
2. Is the house ever really completed? There are always minor repairs that need made. Sometimes things will come apart that need to be put back up. Changes need to be made. Minor tweaks to improve the house. Maybe some new carpet or a change of paint.
This is the analogy I like to use with DJs. We are all DJs. Even the lowly "AFC" has had his DJ moments. Maybe he treated his sister like a little brat. Maybe he busted on a waitress one night when he was out with his buds. Maybe he really enjoys learning new things. Maybe he is adventurous. These little personality traits are all part of being a DJ. They all add up.
I like to call this my core. We all have a core DJ. I like to imagine a ball of fire inside my head similar to the sun that encompasses all my DJ characteristics. My core consists of some of the following, being in good shape, dressing well, being funny, ****y, intelligent, I love learning new things, I am good at escalating the physical aspects of a relationship etc.
BUT there are a lot of things that my core is missing that I come to this site to learn. I can have "approach anxiety" when around really HBs. I have trouble with AMOGs. I have trouble opening groups of girls and/or guys.
As I read and practice, my core expands. It's like a ball of string that continues to grow as I learn and apply.
One of the greatest feelings is when I come up with an "original" idea and then I come on here and find out that there is already a term for what I came up with and that it's a popular technique. This is called positive reinforcement and it is the best way to say "I am on the right path".
To all the "AFCs" out there, you need to find your core DJ and start building it. Find anything about yourself which would be considered attractive and use that as the "foundation" for your house. Everyone has positive characteristics, you need to find yours. Take those characteristics and make minor additions to them.
Let's say you are really good at snowboarding or computers. Well maybe a logical addition would be to get certified to teach snowboarding at a local resort, or to start a business on the side to fix people's computers. From there you can work on people skills since you will be interracting with people a lot, then you can work on flirtation skills (with older women first if necessary) and then you can work on flirting with younger women, and then # closes, and then... you get the point.
Small steps. Build up your skill set gradually. Little additions will start a positive reinforcement cycle which will help you build confidence until the point where you have the makings of a fine house.
There will always be modifications that you need to do to your core. Even the best PUAs on here can improve. Once you stop learning, you stop growing. We always want to be in a state of growth. The human mind is an amazing device capable of far more than most people are tapping.
NEVER STOP IMPROVING.
The question isn't, are you or aren't you a DJ and it's not, WHEN will I become a DJ, the question is HOW MUCH OF A DJ ARE YOU?
Let me explain. Did you ever drive around in a development and see a new plot of land being developed. First you have a big mud pit, then they dig out the foundation, then they lay concrete, then they start building the frame, then they start siding, electrical work, roofing, etc. until one day you have a completed house. But this begs two questions
1. When did that mud pit stop being a mud pit and start being a house? Was it after they laid the foundation? After the walls went up? After the roof had shingles?
2. Is the house ever really completed? There are always minor repairs that need made. Sometimes things will come apart that need to be put back up. Changes need to be made. Minor tweaks to improve the house. Maybe some new carpet or a change of paint.
This is the analogy I like to use with DJs. We are all DJs. Even the lowly "AFC" has had his DJ moments. Maybe he treated his sister like a little brat. Maybe he busted on a waitress one night when he was out with his buds. Maybe he really enjoys learning new things. Maybe he is adventurous. These little personality traits are all part of being a DJ. They all add up.
I like to call this my core. We all have a core DJ. I like to imagine a ball of fire inside my head similar to the sun that encompasses all my DJ characteristics. My core consists of some of the following, being in good shape, dressing well, being funny, ****y, intelligent, I love learning new things, I am good at escalating the physical aspects of a relationship etc.
BUT there are a lot of things that my core is missing that I come to this site to learn. I can have "approach anxiety" when around really HBs. I have trouble with AMOGs. I have trouble opening groups of girls and/or guys.
As I read and practice, my core expands. It's like a ball of string that continues to grow as I learn and apply.
One of the greatest feelings is when I come up with an "original" idea and then I come on here and find out that there is already a term for what I came up with and that it's a popular technique. This is called positive reinforcement and it is the best way to say "I am on the right path".
To all the "AFCs" out there, you need to find your core DJ and start building it. Find anything about yourself which would be considered attractive and use that as the "foundation" for your house. Everyone has positive characteristics, you need to find yours. Take those characteristics and make minor additions to them.
Let's say you are really good at snowboarding or computers. Well maybe a logical addition would be to get certified to teach snowboarding at a local resort, or to start a business on the side to fix people's computers. From there you can work on people skills since you will be interracting with people a lot, then you can work on flirtation skills (with older women first if necessary) and then you can work on flirting with younger women, and then # closes, and then... you get the point.
Small steps. Build up your skill set gradually. Little additions will start a positive reinforcement cycle which will help you build confidence until the point where you have the makings of a fine house.
There will always be modifications that you need to do to your core. Even the best PUAs on here can improve. Once you stop learning, you stop growing. We always want to be in a state of growth. The human mind is an amazing device capable of far more than most people are tapping.
NEVER STOP IMPROVING.