Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Confidence Code. The Holy Grail of the Game. The last thing you'll ever need to read about getting laid.

YourGreatestFear

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If I've tried to write a book or to sell you something then the first thing I did would be boasting my results with women by telling you how many I've banged and how I became a super Chad from some fat basement dweller. But it's not a book and I don't have any **** to sell, so let's get straight to the point, my friends.

Pretty much everything you know about Game is bull****. You'll understand why in a minute.

Almost everything you can read here or on any other pickup resource is information that puts you into a position of chasing women and begging them to give you some validation. . . And the other information like Red/Black Pills, MGTOW, etc, is there to make you passive about women and go the opposite way of not actively pursuing sex or doing it in a very unflexible "**** yes or **** no" way. Which is better, but still very far what you can call a real Game.

So, let's start from the basics.

PART 1. NEEDINESS.

Let's take a typical AFC (average frustrated chump) or a simp, or a normie, or a beta male, call them whatever. They see a woman they consider attractive, their instincts tell them that they want to have sex with her, and their low self-esteem tells them that they also want the validation that comes with ****ing a woman. If you **** a woman you are cool, if you don't then you are a loser, a pathetic incel, that's how society programmed us and there's even some truth to it. So for him, sex is a prize and now he needs to find a way to win it. How? By impressing a girl of course! He saw how it goes in romantic movies! And by becoming her best buddy! Yay! And, depending on a girl and her options, he can even succeed. Though, more often than not, he's going to be friendzoned. But there's one thing that would be there either he succeeds or not. . . He acts like a little ***** to the girl. He puts her on a pedestal for she holds the key to his happiness. She's his drug dealer and he's addicted to the validation she gives or takes from him. From the beginning, he gives away most of his male power. If he's lucky then after getting into a relationship with her he becomes disillusioned with her and her *****power and starts to treat her as his equal. In this case, you are getting your typical couple. . . Okay, but if you're here all of it is probably not about you, right? Except, it probably is. . . The only difference is that instead of trying to win sex through the **** you've learned from our society (treat women right, be interested in their personality, become friends, gift them ****, confess your feelings, etc) he uses something else. . . The thing we call Game.

That's the problem with you guys. That's the problem with the seduction and pickup community. For you, Game is just a tool to get *****. You are still chasing. You are still putting sex on a pedestal. You are still playing by other people's rules and still don't have a Frame of your own. "What should I tell to make her like me?", "What I need to say to pass her **** tests??", "She said that she has a boyfriend, what should I do???". . . What should you do or say to achieve WHAT exactly? Yeah, of course, you are just asking what to do to make your like you. To give you validation. To give you a prize. You try to find a way to deserve her. You don't think that you are worthy of sex by default, you try to compensate with techniques and tricks. . . the same way simps try to compensate with gifts and their fake as hell friendship. The thing is - this is actually still better than just doing what society tells you. . . Because you at least try to imitate real confident men. This is basically what all Outer Game is about - trying to imitate a high-value man. . . The problem is that it's really REALLY hard to do it from the position of neediness. And women can sense that there's something off with you. Not all women. Not always. This is why it sometimes works. Sometimes. . . some girls are stupid, some are just too horny to care and some tolerate your strangeness because they find you physically attractive. . . In fact, often you end up ****ing girls not because of your techniques but IN SPITE of them. This is obvious with how those outer game gurus acknowledge that they only **** 3 girls out of the 100 they approach.

What I just talked about is called Active Neediness (let's not even talk about the Passive Neediness - just visit any incel forum if you want an example, lol). When you are needy, you do what you think you SHOULD do to get sex and validation instead of doing what you WANT to do. And when you don't get your prize, you feel bitter - either about yourself, women, or both. It's a really frustrating place to find yourself. Even if you **** 100 women by approaching thousands, you'll still that something is always lacking. You'll always know that you are the one who chases women and they benevolently allow you to touch their ***** after you work your ass off either by trying to befriend them or by using the things you learned from PUA gurus or sosuave. The core of the neediness is that you NEED to get sex and for that, you are ready to do whatever it takes or close to it. You want to get good reactions and avoid the bad ones. When a girl gives you a good reaction you feel happy inside when she gives you a bad reaction you feel miserable and think that you did something wrong. . . Basically, you become her Pavlov's Dog even if she doesn't really want it. . .

Let's look deeper. . . The funniest thing is that many of you have probably heard what being needy is a bad thing, some of you have probably read Mark Manson with his Models or just learned about this concept from somewhere else. . . And what makes it funny is that for such guys "being non-needy" is just another tool. "Oh, cool, so to get laid I just need to avoid acting needy and, instead, to become non-needy! Such a clever technique, hahaha, now I'll **** you all, bitches!". . . And then he tries to act non-needy from the position of extreme neediness. Pure gold.

I think that's enough for you to see where's the problem with how most guys think lies. But then again, there's another extreme and let's talk about it.
 

YourGreatestFear

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PART 2. Passive non-neediness. Chasing sex is for pussies camp.

"You are so right about all those losers chasing sex! A real alpha male doesn't chase, he just chooses among the bitches who go crazy over him, hehehehe." It's a very simple trap to fall into. And a very deadly one. Because guys who start thinking like this. . . the guys who realize that they don't need women to be happy. . . Are the most likely to be sexless for years. I personally was like that. I lost my neediness, but at the same time, my motivation to bang women was gone. This is where many Redpill, Blackpill, MGTOW guys end up. And this is the easiest road to the incelship. The good news here is that at that level you can still totally enjoy life. Unlike the needy guys, you won't give much of a ****. You've already realized that there's no need to put a ***** on a pedestal and that you can live just fine without it. Moreover, if you are physically attractive, have money or status, and are socially active enough you can even get some easy ***** right into your hands. To some men, it's enough. Or so they tell themselves. Also, many men at this level just get laid through online game. Well, honestly, online game is another beast altogether. It doesn't matter that much if you are needy or a passive "non chaser", as long as you are nice looking and have awesome photos you'll be getting your share of Tinder sluts and some boring casual sex. . . But it's not really an option for most guys. And, more importantly, it's neither the best way to get laid nor the most effective and you'll mostly get women "below your league".

I want everyone to understand how dangerous it is to understand that women and sex aren't so important. Even if you are needy as **** and act like a simp, as long as you take enough action and are decently attractive (in most western countries it just means being in shape and with a decent style) you'll get laid. But if you become completely passive and do absolutely nothing to get women into your life. . . Then you aren't going to get any *****, champ. It can be comfortable to live like this and it's likely to help you with self-improvement (it definitely helped me), but you are going to waste years sexless before you realize that something is wrong. . . that maybe there is another way. And there definitely is.

Before I continue, let's talk about you "non-chasing alpha males" who are actually good enough to get many women interested in you while "doing their own stuff" or "just swiping on Tinder". So let's see you need to go to the convenience store nearby to buy food. Or maybe you are in your favorite gym, doing your 400 lbs squats. Suddenly, you see an extremely hot girl, someone who's totally your type. Your instinct screams at you "**** THIS PERKY ASS, BUD"! Aaaand, like a "real alpha male" (lmao) you think "Nah, I'm too cool for that ****, bitches should chase me, I don't need sex, she should be begging me to bang her, otherwise I'll ignore her". And so, just like all other simps around her, you do nothing. And then someone else ****s the girl of your dreams. . . Do you really think that it's how alpha should act? Like a real high-value confident man thinks and acts? **** no. A man who thinks that he's a God's gift to women, who's 100% confident in his value would think "it would be too cruel to take away from her the chance to meet the man of her dreams, let's give her a chance", he would think "I want to bang this ***** and I'll do it as long as she's cool enough. . . if not, then well, it's her loss". He wouldn't be that little coward who watches her sweet ass from the corner. He would be the one who'll end up slapping this ass as he pounds her from behind. So yeah, stop lying to yourself bro, you want sex. . . it's natural. You just need to find a way to pursue it without chasing validation and being a needy loser. And you are in luck because the next part is exactly about that.
 

YourGreatestFear

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PART 3. Active non-neediness. Sexual pursuit without being needy.

If before we talked about what to AVOID now let's talk about what to do. Or, rather, what to THINK. What exactly to pursue. Let me be honest with you, though. . . It's not a "magic pill" and there are some traps to avoid. Some of the guys in the community figured this thing already or are close to it, or just follow it unintentionally.

A needy man wants to know how he should pursue women. He wants to learn WHAT exactly he needs to do to get laid. He wants to hear an answer like "touch her leg under 30-degree angle at 8 AM while you whisper 'Jesus loves you' into her ear and she would be yours 100%". He wants logical guidelines to follow. He wants certainty. He doesn't want negative reactions. He wants to know what women want, what they feel. He treats seriously what they say to him unless he already follows a pickup guru who told him to do the opposite. Guess what? A high-value man doesn't give a ****. He just self-expresses himself. He just self-amuses himself. All the while moving towards what HE WANTS.

The key difference between what you can call a "beta sexual pursuit" and an "alpha sexual pursuit" is that the former is about trying to please a woman to get what you want, while the former is about getting what you want without trying to please anyone. . . only yourself. Instead of thinking about what women want, be egoistic - think about what YOU want. Don't pursue sex for validation and to prove to yourself that women want you. Do it for your own pleasure. . . ON YOUR OWN TERMS.


Just pause for a moment and let it really sink. Stop trying to get sex at any cost, no matter how small. If you've "tried" to get sex it's worthless. Stop trying to "buy" sex by making efforts towards it. Change your priorities to getting sex ON YOUR OWN TERMS only—for your pleasure. Again, you approach girls FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE. You decide the rules. If she isn't ready to give it to you on your own terms, if she isn't ready to satisfy you in the way you want her to, then she can f*ck off, you'll find someone else. You aren't approaching her to make her like you or to "get" something valuable from her. On the fundamental level you AREN'T chasing her or sex. You approach women to see if they can give you what you want. You move towards your desires, but the end result isn't determined by how "good you are" or how "worthy you are". You believe that you deserve the best by default. There's no rejection, only girls who are time wasters. Sex isn't a reward you get from a girl, but rather a tribute from her to you, something that's a matter of course.

I marked this whole section in bold not just to be edgy. It's something you need to understand on the deepest level. But wait, it's not the end. . . If you'd read so far, you've probably noticed that something is missing here. "But what if I don't think that I deserve the best or is worthy to have sex by default? What if I'm not confident and don't know what to say, what if I'm an Indian 5'3 guy living in his mom's basement?" And this would be addressed later. . . For now let's look at how this approach could be taken to the extreme in an overly simplified way.

So, someone could think that he's a big deal, become a super egoistic motherf*cker and approach women with a mindset "it's my way or highway" by immediately telling them to suck his **** right here right now? Yeah, it would be a total failure. . . Except, would it? What if you aren't a retard and can show your honest intentions in a way that doesn't scream "I'M AN *******"?



Or, you can be an ******* and still get laid without any "super pua techniques", just not as often.


I don't care if you believe if it works or not. It's something men experience IRL. Some semi-blackpill guys use this same logic to prove that "looks are everything", though. It does matter but not to such an extent, not if you have a "real Game" (later about it). If you've read so far you can probably guess why this straightforward approach does work better than any complex PUA tactic that would get you 3 girls out 100 (just google stats of Torero, Kraiser and other cold approach gurus). Does dbot need to lie about this stuff? Unlike other guys he doesn't try to sell you anything, think about it. His earlier replies are also kind of silly and naive, too much for someone who just tries to troll you guys.

Anyway, the main thing is that girls are DISGUSTED by neediness. Except, more than 95% of guys project it, HARD. This is why, paradoxically, the guys I described in PART 2 sometimes actually get better women than PUAs even without actively pursuing women. . . But what I'm going to tell you in PART 4 is the real reason why I called the post the Holy Grail of the Game. What if you can get this non-neediness that makes you attractive as you actively pursue women WHILE also being flexible enough to give them more time to get to know you than a couple of minutes?

Even if you aren't as direct and charismatic as dbot or his friend, even if you just act like a chode, you are still going to get laid as long as you don't try too hard to impress girls. . . And you'll do it more often than your try-hard PUA friends and those "proud alpha male " guys who are too good to approach beta females.


Don't try to be cool to impress her. Forget about this DHV (demonstration of high value) bullsh*t. A real high-value person doesn't try to prove to others that he's a high value. What he does, though, is determining their value by qualifying them. . . When he feels like it. For god's sake don't try to "qualify" girls because you've read it somewhere and think it's cool and is going to get you laid. It's not something you do intentionally. In fact, there should be nothing "intentional" that you do for the sake of making a girl like you more. Do the opposite - push her away to know how much she's ready to accept your rules and fulfill your desires. Show her that you aren't going to change for the sake of her *****.


Anyway, I'll get to the most delicious part tomorrow. . . Or maybe not and I'll decide to leave it to myself and one day earn money from this DIVINE KNOWLEDGE (LMAO).

p.s. Who had this genius idea that a forum about getting laid where mature adults talk about sex and sexual strategies needs a strict profanity filter? Lol.
 

spikeanut

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OP, I know you mean well and had good intentions for your post, and I'm sure there are nuggets of gold speckled in there, however I just could not figure out what your main point was. First it's don't be a beta simp, but also don't be an alpha PUA, then don't be needy, but also don't be non-needy, etc. The post just appears to nit-pick and put down as many members on this forum as possible, which is quite counter-productive to the purpose of the forum.

My advise to the men here has always been: Be a Man. Work on yourself and be the best version of a man you can be. That should be your only goal. Woman should never be the goal but merely a by-product of achieving the best version of yourself as a Man.

Yes, that may be easy for me to say, but in my interactions with other forum members, I have realized this concept might be very difficult for some men to conceptualize and fully understand. Some people are so inundated with society's teachings of so-called toxic masculinity and emasculation of men, or have no inkling of their own self worth, that the notion of confidence and man-hood is as foreign to them as French is to me. Therefore the idea and rules/suggestions that game provides these men may not be the answer to all their problems, but it provides a road map for them to understand their interactions with women, and ultimately their roles as Men.

I may not agree with all aspects of the red-pill community, or the mechanical teachings of game, but I do believe learning game and immersing oneself in RP knowledge and trying to get laid, is exponentially better for men, than dying in that blue pill cuckoldry fantasy land.
 

YourGreatestFear

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OP, I know you mean well and had good intentions for your post, and I'm sure there are nuggets of gold speckled in there, however I just could not figure out what your main point was. First it's don't be a beta simp, but also don't be an alpha PUA, then don't be needy, but also don't be non-needy, etc. The post just appears to nit-pick and put down as many members on this forum as possible, which is quite counter-productive to the purpose of the forum.

My advise to the men here has always been: Be a Man. Work on yourself and be the best version of a man you can be. That should be your only goal. Woman should never be the goal but merely a by-product of achieving the best version of yourself as a Man.

Yes, that may be easy for me to say, but in my interactions with other forum members, I have realized this concept might be very difficult for some men to conceptualize and fully understand. Some people are so inundated with society's teachings of so-called toxic masculinity and emasculation of men, or have no inkling of their own self worth, that the notion of confidence and man-hood is as foreign to them as French is to me. Therefore the idea and rules/suggestions that game provides these men may not be the answer to all their problems, but it provides a road map for them to understand their interactions with women, and ultimately their roles as Men.

I may not agree with all aspects of the red-pill community, or the mechanical teachings of game, but I do believe learning game and immersing oneself in RP knowledge and trying to get laid, is exponentially better for men, than dying in that blue pill cuckoldry fantasy land.
I can only guess that you haven't read the whole thing, otherwise you would understand what I was talking about. It's really easy, I've even used bold for the key points. You should be non-needy but at the same time honest to your desires.

Anyway, I don't expect everyone to "get" what I'm talking about. Even if some people will read and "agree" with everything I said, they would still remain in their little world of either being needy for women or being in denial of their male nature. You seem to be in the second category with your "woman should never be a goal" ****. When you see a woman your instinct doesn't care, it tells you to **** her. A part of being the MAN is about following what you want. Not about avoiding women using excuses while you "work on yourself".

If you've read the latest posts on the forum then you'll see that most members now don't actually go outside and **** women. They either get their d*cks wet from Tinder or stay sexless with a few exceptions. But this post wasn't about putting men down. The first step to change for the better is to understand what you did wrong. This is the purpose of the first two Parts. The Third Part is where the answer to "what to do instead".
 

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zekko

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I can only guess that you haven't read the whole thing, otherwise you would understand what I was talking about. It's really easy, I've even used bold for the key points. You should be non-needy but at the same time honest to your desires.
If I get what you're saying, I agree with you. I'm not 100% sure I get what you're saying, because it's very wordy, but I think I do.

I was reflecting earlier today about the time I've spent reading seduction material. And maybe I'll feel differently about this tomorrow, but today I feel like all this PUA stuff is BS. I mean, not all of it obviously, there are some very important principles in there. It just comes down to don't be needy, don't be a simp, and the masculine attracts the feminine. There really isn't much more to it than that. You seem to be adding go for what you want, unapologetically. And if you fail, don't feel rejected, just feel like she's a waste of your time and forget her. But that could be considered part of the masculine. And also part of not being needy or a simp.
 

YourGreatestFear

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PART 4. The Confidence Code.

Are you short? Maybe you are fat and broke? And you think those are the reasons why you can't get girls? WRONG. There are guys who have the same flaws as you do who still get laid. I personally have a friend who's both short and fat and still dates model-looking girls. He also still lives with his parents even if he's in his mid-twenties. Why? Because he's confident and fun as heck, that's why. Looks do matter, as does your race and financial success. . . But it's always better to have self-respect, self-love, and confidence. You can ALWAYS get a decent sex life with enough charisma. The question is—how to be confident when you are objectively unattractive? Well, let's talk about self-esteem.

Most people try to base their self-esteem on the perceived reality. And it's a good thing. But there's a place and time to be objective about your flaws but it's not when you deal with women. When you deal with people it's time to be SUBJECTIVE about yourself. We can often close our eyes on the personal flaws of our close friends and family. . . But who could be more important to you than YOU? There are zero reasons to not treat yourself preferentially. In the end, you are THE ONLY ONE who truly knows everything about yourself. A girl you just approached on the street knows nothing other than your looks and actions. She can't know if you are a billionaire with a 10-inch-long **** who can make her experience the strongest orgasms of her life. She can't know if you are best friends of a Hollywood star or a CEO of a big company. And this was the case 50 thousand years ago when sexual strategies evolved. So women aren't going to treat you based on your objective achievements, at least not until they know you well enough. They would ASSUME how high is your value based on how YOU TREAT YOURSELF. Basically, it's just like a bluff in poker.

How you treat yourself is never objective. How you treat others is never completely objective either. . . In the end, it's just an OPINION. And you have the right to have ANY opinion about yourself, no matter how ridiculous it is. You can have this ridiculous opinion even if you KNOW that it's false. There's no reason to be that serious about yourself or the others.


So yeah, that's the key to confidence. You don't need to have objective reasons to love yourself, to treat yourself as the most important person in your life, or to think of yourself as a God's gift to women. If you want some objective facts then here they are — everything you see around you isn't a reality, but a "map" of reality created by your brain. You are literally the center of your own world and it wouldn't exist after you die. The objective reality would continue to exist, but not the subjective reality you perceive. There literally can't be a more important person in your life than you, so how does it make sense to have low self-esteem? It's just ridiculous.
 

TheQ2020

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please stop.

you are embarrassing yourself.

the level of cringe is over 9000

you sound like a 15 year old kid trying to copy tyler from RSD

it's so sad to see the amount of nonsense content in the seduction community in 2021
 
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