The greatest results require the greatest risk. How can one fathom breaking a speed record for driving if they do not allow the potential crash? How can one expect to be accepted to Princeton if they do not take into account the factor of being rejected? In any interaction with girls/women, the greater the risk taken, the greater potential for great results.
Lets say you wish to approach a very attractive girl who is eating lunch at a table alone (not necessarily shy or introverted). You approach her, and the riskiest part of your approach was asking for the number.
Risk A yields: Number or No Number
Lets say somewhere in there you throw in a few comments or questions about her sexuality, even after you had a good start in the conversation.
Risk B yields: More Attraction or Less Attraction
Do you see where I'm going? You could do the bare minimum in attempting to achieve your goal (the number), or you could throw in a few riskier things that show her you're not afraid, and will either have your chances raised or lowered.
You ask me "But why should I risk lowering my chances if I'm doing fine already!"
For one, as mentioned before, in a lot of these situations (such as commenting on sexuality) you'll illustrate your confidence, which is attractive. You may get negative feedback but she may also disregard it and focus on your confidence etc.
You would also like to take risks because they can really show your attraction and let her know that she's not just friendly conversation. This is one of the things that sparks attraction in the opposite sex.
When it comes to taking risks that present your attraction to her, it usually simply speeds up the process. If she likes you she will almost always positively respond, if she doesn't, she will shoot you down sooner and waste less of your time.
In short, you want to move out of your comfort zone. There are girls you will get along great with, girls you will never get along with, and girls in between that are hard to place in either category. By taking risks and leaving the comfort zone, the ones that will work the best will brightly stand out, and the ones that would never work will fade from your sight. You can spend a month trying a girl that you aren't particularly sure likes you a ton, or you can spend a few days on girls that don't like you, and longer on ones that do. Leaving the comfort zone provides confidence. Leaving the comfort zone allows for greater rewards. It does also allow for greater losses, but what's really a loss when you can say "bye bye" to the girl? Leaving the comfort zone speeds up the process. Leaving the comfort zone increases your social ability.
So why do we want to stay in the comfort zone? We feel secure. Bad things can't happen as easily. We are content enough, and even though we would accept more, we haven't seen the evidence supporting a worthwhile risk being taken.
You aren't going to find the evidence until you do it. You have to go out there and leave your comfort zone. Humans are fabulous at making up possible scenarios, many of which go to the very extreme.
The results will probably not be as bad as you expected. So get out of your comfort zone!
Lets say you wish to approach a very attractive girl who is eating lunch at a table alone (not necessarily shy or introverted). You approach her, and the riskiest part of your approach was asking for the number.
Risk A yields: Number or No Number
Lets say somewhere in there you throw in a few comments or questions about her sexuality, even after you had a good start in the conversation.
Risk B yields: More Attraction or Less Attraction
Do you see where I'm going? You could do the bare minimum in attempting to achieve your goal (the number), or you could throw in a few riskier things that show her you're not afraid, and will either have your chances raised or lowered.
You ask me "But why should I risk lowering my chances if I'm doing fine already!"
For one, as mentioned before, in a lot of these situations (such as commenting on sexuality) you'll illustrate your confidence, which is attractive. You may get negative feedback but she may also disregard it and focus on your confidence etc.
You would also like to take risks because they can really show your attraction and let her know that she's not just friendly conversation. This is one of the things that sparks attraction in the opposite sex.
When it comes to taking risks that present your attraction to her, it usually simply speeds up the process. If she likes you she will almost always positively respond, if she doesn't, she will shoot you down sooner and waste less of your time.
In short, you want to move out of your comfort zone. There are girls you will get along great with, girls you will never get along with, and girls in between that are hard to place in either category. By taking risks and leaving the comfort zone, the ones that will work the best will brightly stand out, and the ones that would never work will fade from your sight. You can spend a month trying a girl that you aren't particularly sure likes you a ton, or you can spend a few days on girls that don't like you, and longer on ones that do. Leaving the comfort zone provides confidence. Leaving the comfort zone allows for greater rewards. It does also allow for greater losses, but what's really a loss when you can say "bye bye" to the girl? Leaving the comfort zone speeds up the process. Leaving the comfort zone increases your social ability.
So why do we want to stay in the comfort zone? We feel secure. Bad things can't happen as easily. We are content enough, and even though we would accept more, we haven't seen the evidence supporting a worthwhile risk being taken.
You aren't going to find the evidence until you do it. You have to go out there and leave your comfort zone. Humans are fabulous at making up possible scenarios, many of which go to the very extreme.
The results will probably not be as bad as you expected. So get out of your comfort zone!