"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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"The Comeback Kid"...perhaps living up to my name?

The Comeback Kid

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There's a girl who was in a couple of my classes this semester. Ever since just before Thanksgiving Break, I realized I'm actually interested in her. She's really cool, and we seem to get along. In most cases, I'd have already made some sort of move. However, something was holding me back. Maybe it was because I knew I'd be seeing her twice a week or maybe it was because I didn't feel we knew each other well enough for her to accept a date (she seems like the type of girl who likes to know who she's dating, etc.).

Additionally, she's tough to read. I can't tell what's going on. In one of the classes, I don't get a chance to speak with her much - for whatever reason I feel I need to instigate the majority of the conversation in there. In the other class, we can talk for awhile easily, and oftentimes she'll begin the conversation. I also receive some pretty good body language and things seem much easier in there. Most importantly, she's seen the real TCK, quirks and all, for better or for worse. I don't hide anything. Today, one kid asks if I always say whatever comes to mind (I was making a few quick comments/jokes), I confidently told him, "that's me."

At my school, we have less than two weeks between Thanksgiving and finals, so there really isn't much room for a date of any sort (plus I was pretty busy). I knew today's class would be the last time I see her until January. Luckily - for the most part - the positive environment in this class today made me look good (as yesterday's class was a little rough). I know mostly everyone (one other girl in there gave me a hug right in front of the one I like) and the Prof. was busting jokes on me the last few minutes of class (I take this stuff very well). As we were parting ways, I told her, "Hey, I know we always talk in class, let's hang out outside of class when we get back. She smiled and walked away - and that was that. :confused: :confused: If I don't actually hear a, "yeah that sounds great" or something like that, I'm not sure that's a good sign.

SO...I am a little unsure of what happens next. First off, I can't even tell if she's interested in me. One day I have to force the conversation, the next everything's clicking. Positive body language is recurring, but the kino has subsided a little. Again, I'd have asked her out, but I'd have nowhere to take her until we get back to school, so I kinda had to hold it in (and chances are she could figure that out b/c she's a girl). My question for the time being...I'd like to keep in touch with her over break. How is this actually done (we exchanged numbers a couple weeks ago)? I don't want things to drift away.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Stud No1

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sounds like you're a social robot trying to calculate every social power transfer than occurs, every tiny detail. That's a bad start my friend

No way can you be your best self by over-analyzing in that manner, you sound far too conscious of how you're appearing in class. Be natural.


As for the girl, i honestly have no idea bro. She could go home and think about you all xmas, or she might be repulsed by the idea and that smile was a courtesy one. Go with your gut.

If she's sociable and easy to talk to, it shouldn't be hard to guage from her attitude towards you next time. If she's distant she's probably scared you're going to follow up on that offer, whereas if she's forward, well, you know.
 

Stud No1

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oh, regarding your question about contacting her - i dunno. Have you guys exchanged txts before? If not, i maybe would leave it. Maybe wait til xmas to send her a "Happy Christmas" text and go from there.
 

The Comeback Kid

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I just have a good memory when recollecting events (usually I just begin writing here and the thoughts enter my mind). ;)

We have texted/talked on the phone before. For the class I don't get to talk to her a lot in, she needed something for our project (we have to rent it out of the building, there are only a few pieces of the equipment). She sent me a text about it, we talked about a couple little things when she called, we arranged that we'd meet up twice the next day to exchange the stuff, but later on she said she found what she was looking for.

Overall she's a very friendly person and she's easy to talk to, so I'll try and see what kind of reaction I get. She hasn't drifted away yet and there's a chance she can read through me a little, so it doesn't look bad from there.

We'll have to see what happens.
 

The Comeback Kid

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I did a little thinking on this, as I said before I'm thinking of taking Stud No1's advice and saying "Merry Christmas, I hope all is well" or something like that. Other than that, I figure to just call her once I'm back at school, because then I will have a time and place to set some sort of a date up.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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