The clock is ticking - how long to decide when in relationship

[Heretolearn]

Hi,

You know the saying '**** or get off the pot'. What is the timeframe you give a relationship before you decide this?

Especially if there is pressure from the other side (gf) in terms of commitment or having kids (eg. older woman) etc.


SHould you 'know' by a certain time and can staying past this time if you are unsure mean you get trapped in a bad situation just because of comfort/not wanting to change?

Thanks

thoughts appreciated

 

[NewMan]

I read somewhere, that in general, if the man has not asked the women to marry her within 3 yrs, it's more likely than not, that the relationship will end.

 

[squirrels]

There's no "time limit". Either you want to marry her or your don't.

The only thing you may want to think about is whether YOU want kids. If you want kids and you want to eventually marry this girl, you may want to take the plunge sooner than later.

If you want kids, but you don't want them with THIS woman, then you might want to consider cutting her loose looking for one you DO want a family with, rather than wasting both your time.

If you don't want, or don't care about, kids, then there is no time issue...at least for you. You either want to marry her or don't.

She may force the decision for you if SHE is on a schedule. But that doesn't mean your decision should change.

 

[Mr. Me]

Especially if there is pressure from the other side (gf) in terms of commitment

You know, if you've accepted her as your exclusive GF, then you already have committed to her, haven't you? It's not like once you're in a marriage both parties can't get out of it or break the commitment. And women are the ones that file for divorce the majority of times, breaking that commitment. Yet women love to overlook all that and the fact you've already committed to her and insist that only marriage means commitment.

If she wants to marry you, I'd say, keep her wanting to marry you. If she's willing to dump you just because she wants to have kids, then she's only looking for a breeder, not a lover. The clock is ticking? Hit the snooze button.

I read somewhere, that in general, if the man has not asked the women to marry her within 3 yrs, it's more likely than not, that the relationship will end.

Another good reason not to propose to women. If the relationship would end because you didn't propose, then she doesn't want you enough so as to propose to you.