The checklist before the date..

[Dirty D]

A good preparation is half the work…

And I found out what this REALLY means because of meeting and dating women with all the little flaws I had, mistakes I made and just plain BLUNDERS: finding out you have no razors left and that you forgot to buy ‘em on the day of the date, being so NOT in the mood that you just sat there being quiet, that one fancy shirt you wanted to put on is off course..still in the washing machine and the list goes on and on.

Yeah, I think there must have been a THOUSAND mistakes I made even BEFORE the date on that list. Sometimes I found a solution and at other times it simply RUINED my chances. I see the humor in it now, but I know all too well that it was everything BUT funny when I was still a rookie when it came to winning with women.

I’ve kinda been missing a topic that “prepares you for battle” right before the (first) date, some kind of checklist with all those little last-minute things that, when added up, can be the difference between a so-so date…and the best date you had in a whole long damn time! Because the masters of any area of expertise didn’t became masters because they did a few big things very, very well…it’s because they did a THOUSAND little things right.

So you know what? Let’s turn this beast into a “prepare for the date” monster, any and all of your suggestions, own tips and tricks are welcome. Definitely reply me on this one so we can help each other out, allright?

Check #1: Did You Sleep Well?
Take it from a guy who THRIVES when it’s night time but sat there, in front of her, with zombie eyes afterwards: rest well before you go on the date. An average humans needs about 7-8 hours of solid sleep, so don’t be affraid to crawl into bed at 11 p.m…because sleeping has several advantages.

• Sleeping rejuvenates the mind: you simply FEEL better when you had a good night’s sleep, feel more happy, more confident…and women can sense that. Studies have shown that a lack of sleep (and/or rest) can cause despression…
• Sleeping stimulates alertness: my best days with my most playful comments, best moves on the dancefloor when I’m dancing with her and also the days I last longest…are the days where I slept well the night before. Sleeping increases alertness, which allows you to reply faster, be more creative, etc…

Check #2: Did You Eat & Drink Well?
There can be a LOT of distractions during a date, but the absolute WORST one is when you’re hungry and your stomach is growling like some wild animal. Not only will it be embarrassing for you if she hears it, but it also draws your attention away from more important things: having fun on the date, moving towards the moment of the kiss, etc. All distractions are BAD distractions, so kill this one before you go out the door.

A lack of energy (caused by not eating enough) also makes you less alert, slower to respond and so on. You achieve mastery by paying attention to a 1000 little things, not by doing “the five Big Boys” or whatever right.

If you didn’t drink well enough, it could even hurt your date even more because your LIPS will dry…and guess what you’ll be needing them for later on the date? So before you go out the door, eat something, drink something (and take a pee to avoid public peeing in front of her…that’s not very charming wouldn’t you agree?)

Check #3: Did You Make Sure You Don’t Look Like A Caveman?
Women DO like clean cut and shaven men better than cavemen with enormous beards, hair as long as a woman’s hair and dirty nails…it’s a matter of personal hygiene.

Here’s some quick tips for personal hygiene:

• Shave yourself on the day of the date
• Make sure your nails are clean and cut, both feet and hands (men aren’t “detail daddy’s” but women? Pay very close attention to details and draw their conclusions based on little things like this. “He has dirty nails? Well, he must have a disorganized life then…he must not take care of himself that well, so how can he take care of me then?”)
• Please…no sweat, take a shower will you?
• Use some cologne and aftershave while your at it to smell nice
• Stubbles CAN be sexy, when they’re a day old…not when they can’t see the difference between your chin and your cheek because of all the hair. It’s STUBBLES, not little hairs either (that just shows you don’t take care of yourself that well, stubbles though can sometimes be seen as “that’s a wild man, a real man…” the Marlboro man type of guy)
• Mind the haircut, I’m not suggesting to go bald or the military haircut (nearly bald)…but freshly cut not too long hair works best because it makes you look CLEAN and like you take good care of yourself
• Do your hair by using some gel or the much firmer version: wax..because it makes you look better, smoother
• Brush your teeth and bring chewing gum..AND eat that gum right before you see her so you won’t smell (or taste) like what you just ate or was drinking…that’s nasty

Check #4: Did You Make Sure You Don’t Look Like A Bum?
It isn’t necessary to wear the most expensive Armani suits you can find on your dates, but wearing purple with orange is just…wanting to become a circus act. You don’t have to be a fashion geek either, just get your hands on a couple of men’s magazines and watch how the guys dress…and copy their style.

And pay attention to these:

• Please…no shoes with holes in it or any other part hanging loose that’s NOT called a “shoe lace”. If you don’t have any good shoes, do slippers…
• Please…no clothes with holes in them or threads hanging around that you didn’t cut off (most clothes have a couple of sowing threads hanging around when they’re newly bought, find them and cut them off). The only holes that COULD be sexy is if it’s in stonewashed jeans and not on the ASS of those jeans (it’s going for the “wild thang” look)
• Mind the colors: black and white are good together, one color does too (as long as it’s white, black, light blue)
• Get some accesories: belts get along get with ANY style of clothing, white belts especially. Get yourself a trendy necklace, or bracelet, a non-plastic watch…

 

[Dirty D]

The checklist before the date..(con't)

Check #5: Did You Make Sure You’re In The Mood?
When I had a rough day the day before, I feel like having less fun. When I had a normal day before and go and see her, I’m my normal self. But what I want is to be my BEST self: not nervous, relaxed, comfortable, happy, playful, confident…because being all this SHOWS. Women can tell if you’re feeling great or just fine much better then men because they can read into body language faster and better.

So how do you do it? About half an hour up to an hour before I have the date, I listen to my favorite music (about 4 to 5 songs) and the moment I NEED to leave? I stop listening. Why? Because my favorite music always makes me smile, makes me playful, makes me enjoy life…it’s just like listening to nice & slow songs before sex to get in the mood. Only now, you’re getting in the mood for dates.

Your favorite music videos or funny videos help too…

Check #6: Did You Forget Anything?
Check the day before to see if you: can wear that shirt you wanted to wear, still have enough razors, condoms, gel, cologne etc. just anything and everything you need for the date. This prevents a LOT of last minute stress.

Same goes on the day of the date: make sure you have your phone with you, money on you, bus pass and whatever else you’ll need…makes a man tends to forget things when he’s nervous or has a big day coming up (it happens to he best of us).

Check #7: Do You Have A Plan B For Where You’re Going?
Major bummer…when you know this great place (a store or somewhere you can dance, eat or drink, whatever) and take her there, only to find out it closed early, is closed permanetly or the owners are having themselves a little vacation. Panic, what to do know? Nervous, no backup plan…ruined date.

And the easiest solution to all of this is: check if the place is still open and have a plan B. Have ANOTHER place you can take her to, you never know…maybe the road is under construction, the website off the darn place is down or whatever.

It’s also being spontaneous (which women REALLY like), unexpected and exciting when you tell her you two are going to spot A, and ON the date take her to spot B just to surprise her ass off! All first date stress is bad stress, so prevent it as much as you can.

Check #8: Do You Have A Plan B For Who You’re Seeing?
At some point on the path of winning with women, a girl will flake on you and never show up (which hurts)…or even crappier: she really wants to go but a last-minute event messed it all up and she cancels on you only hours before the date (sudden death of a family member, she forgot she had to go there and there or whatever…and what she’s telling you is NOT an excuse).

Both situations are a WASTE of your precious time, standing there…and then she doesn’t show up while you didn’t plan for anything else because of the date you were going to have. That ruins your day, sometimes literally because you cancelled other plans for her.

That’s why I recommend you to always have a plan B for her: another girl you’d like to date too, a male or female friend you can go and see, even family works. Why? The minute she cancels, you can call them up and tell them you’re coming…which makes her cancelling hurt a lot less and still gives you a fun day. If she DOES show up, you can send a text message to your family or friends saying something came up and you need to take care of that first…and when it’s another girl you’d like to date? Let her know at least an hour or two hours in advance (or it’ll hurt her feelings)…and immediately plan in another time for the date (so she knows you’re not playing with her feelings).

My personal recommendation: 3 options, always. It makes you indifferent to a cancellation, because most of the time when you do NOT have other options? You’ll be needy, desperate or angry with your reply…which comes across like you have been waiting on HER all day (and then her wussy radar detects it and turns her off).

Let the replying begin!

 

[Colossus]

Pretty good list. A little too scrupulous maybe, but hey if it works for you...

Here is my own list; not as exhaustive but just some things that make my life a lot easier:

1. Plan ahead!! Have a spot picked out, and a backup idea as well. Know where you are going (getting lost is embarrassing and a potential date-killer).

2. If it's a first date, I like to meet someplace neutral. Basically somewhere equidistant from both of our homes, with an easy exit in case things go south. It should be a place you can leave in less than a few minutes if necessary (e.g. not a sit-down restaurant). NEVER go to her home or have her at your home for a first date.

3. Casual, but sharp. Me, I'll wear well-fitting jeans, a sharp shirt (stylish but not dressy), and cool shoes. Shoes are a big one. If you have some cool, unique sneakers girls will love it. It shows good taste. I live in the city so I also have a nice peacoat. If you are muscular wear well-fitting but not super tight clothes. Showcase your physique a bit.

4. I never wear jewelry. Just a personal preference. I also dont shave with a razor, so I have stubble all the time. This really isn't contrived, I just dont like shaving. Stubble is better for my skin and girls are attracted to it. It doesn't work for every guy though.

5. I have to second your point on MOOD---so important!! I have literally KILLED dates with my mood. Like destroyed them. Girls really pick up on subtleties of mood, like facial expression, tone of voice, inflection, and posture.

If you are not in the mood it is best to postpone or just cancel. The date is going to suck for you anyway and you'll likely blow any chance with the girl you're meeting.

6. EASY on the drinks!! I limit myself to 3 over the course of a couple hours for a first or second date (I haven't always). Drink too much and you get tired, say stupid sh!t, etc.

7. Avoid really personal questions and heavy subjects. Like the plague.

8. If she gives you any indications of disinterest, close the date and leave. Dont wait it out. Trust me it isn't going to get any better.

9. Dont disclose too much about yourself. Keep it tight--you're a gentleman, remember?

10. I try to be gentlemanly with my speech as well. Little if any swearing, crude slang, or low-brow discussion. In other words, if you have a large vocabulary be articulate, but not to the point of coming off as pretentious.

 

[cedd]

a check list is fine (for newbies) but do not focus on a date as if it was job.

there is some rules to obey.

Go on a date with a GOOD MOOD or don't.
Go on a date with a GOOD LOOK or don't.
Go on a date FOR FUN and ENJOYING YOURSELF or don't.

take care of yourself (Being clean, grooming, wearing nice clothes and eating/drinking well) should be a lifestyle for a DJ.
It should be done everyday, have you dates or not.

Plan B is a corollary of plates spinning.

cheers

 

[Huffman]

DUDE!

I mean, seriously, come on!

You're teaching all those chumps out there to worry about "uh I think I haven't slept enough today"! How is this a good idea?
This is a date for god's sake, not a wedding!

If you're having all that stuff going through your head, how will you be able to relax at the date? That would never work for me.

 

[Raikojo17]

Ma Brotha, YOU.... are pimpin

 

[Bible_Belt]

Good thread. I was thinking about the "Plan B" when I saw the thread title. Always have another place to go if things don't work out.

 

[speakeasy]

#9) Manscaping, in case you get a BJ.

#10) for me anyway because I have a sensitive, temperamental stomach, I always bring a couple pepto tablets in my pocket in case I eat something that makes me want to puke I don't have to end the date early.

#11) My ipod with music loaded to drive to and set the right mood, which for me is something with energy, but doesn't draw too much attention to itself. I usually put on a mix of loungy deep house music and uptempo chill-out music and keep the volume down low, but enough to fill any silences.

#11) Make sure my bathroom and toilet are clean. If you get her back home, she will be in your bathroom. Nothing impresses a girl more than a dude with a clean bathroom. I keep my place extremely tidy regardless.

#12) Girls like sh*t like scented candles and exotic teas. Keep a few of these around.

 

[Colossus]

#9) Manscaping, in case you get a BJ.

Hahaha, like the last three dates Ive been on I have thought about manscaping the ol' fence post beforehand, but then was like "nah, I'm not going to take her home. Even if I do..."

Lo and behold, I'm 3 for 3 on first date BJ's.

 

[Deep Dish]

I can't believe you guys forgot about two of the biggest things: clean your bedroom and clean your car. These are monumentally important.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

And wash the outside of your car, too. I had a girl comment once that my car was 'much cleaner than last time.' I hadn't even thought about whether my car had dirt on it or not. But it had rained a couple days before.


I guess they notice these things.

 

[Taviii]

The only thing you should really worry about is having a good time.