The case for having female friends

[loveshogun]

This post is for everyone who has forsaken female friends for 1+ years in order to focus on personal development, and has had concrete successes in that regard. If you are the type who "falls in love with his best friend," this advice is NOT for you. Read the DJ Bible, because you probably think your situation is unique and special, which means you're a beginner.

So I've been hanging out with a lot of chicks from my ballet class lately.

Hear me out. Come on, this is me. Love Shogun. You trust me.

Anyway, I'll admit I've poked some of them and then stayed away for a few weeks. Had to put in that cool off period so they don't cross the line from "admirer/friend" to "c*ck blocker."

Anyway, my point is, that since college, I'd forgotten how useful it is to have female friends who want to hang out with you and go out.

That's because after high school and all the way through college, I followed this piece of advice:

Shogun, you are not meant to be friends with women. You can't. You too horny. Don't be friends with women.

I took it at face value because I completely trusted (and still do) the person who said it. So, I'd followed the rule for so long, without questioning it, that I forgot what it was originally intended for. The idea there was that I didn't have to understand why something worked in order to reap it's benefit - you don't have to have a Ph.D in skeletal development to know that exercise is good for you, right?

Well, a few months ago I finally looked back on it and wondered, "why does this rule exist?"

I'll tell you why.

In high school, I was the nice kid. Had lots of female "friends" that I was nice to and hung out with, not because I genuinely wanted to be friends with them, but because I was thinking it was a way I could stealth my boner into their taint. I wanted to bang them. So I listened to their problems and blah blah blah and you know the rest of this story.

Anyway, when my colleague told me the rule, he didn't tell me the whole rule, because if he did, I wouldn't have understood it.

What he meant was not that men and women cannot be friends.

He meant that WEAK men and women cannot be friends.

In fact, WEAK men can't be friends with anyone.

I was emotionally weak in high school. I was looking for women to fill that gap that I should have been filling for myself. But, because I was so weak, doing anything short of "not being friends with any women" for a couple of years would not have done the trick.

Now that I'm a complete person, I find I can be friends with women. Of course, I'm picky. No one needy, no one who complains too much, no one rude. I do this with my male friends too.

I know what you might be thinking: "But Shogun, a girl who doesn't complain, isn't needy, and has her own sh*t goin' on? Why don't you date her?! lolololol"

I'll tell you why. Sometimes, she's either a) physically not my type (this is usually a race thing, I'm ashamed to admit) or b) I just have no romantic chemistry with her.

So now you're gonna say "But Shogun, that's because you're not negging her enough, or being sexual enough, or being c&f lolololol."

Well, how about I came up with a better strategy? You see, I've added these women to my stable.

My stable is the group of female friends that I can phone up any time and say "hey, let's go out on the town, bring your friends, and I'll bring mine."

And the results are f*ckin' sweet!

Some of you might say hanging out with women makes you LOOK effeminate. What I'll tell you is that worrying about what other people think of that sh*t means you actually ARE effeminate, and women will sniff that out like a bloodhound.

If you can carry yourself as a confident male (by which I mean actually BEING confident and not PRETEND to be confident), you will never look effeminate hanging out with a bunch of women.

Plus, having female friends will allow you to experiment with the full extent of what you can say to a girl before you get smacked (sometimes in a good way).

And then, you have to not call her for a while because you accidentally stuck you P in her va-gee, and you want to make sure she doesn't get attached because you're a bad motherf*cker.

Thoughts and comments are welcome.

Once again, this advice is NOT for the type of guy who "falls in love with his female friends." Read the DJ Bible, and get some non-women related hobbies.

 

[loveshogun]

I'm surprised no one has an opinion on this.

 

[JdelaSilviera]

If going out with girls makes you look feminine, going out with guys only makes you look a horny loser... Other guys might think you are feminine for having female friends, but women won´t, you will look better on their eyes... and it´ s their opinion that counts.

Having female friends is great (contratry to what most pua retards say), not only because they can get you to know a LOT of other women... and the more chances you have to find a great one that likes you. But most relationships start with people being friends....also all contraire of what pua community says.

I´ve started visiting puahate.com and it´s fvcking hilarious I really laugh histerically there, but those guys are smart and right about many things. Wich situation will most likely get you laid or a decent girlfriend/wife, 1) going out with female friends that will say good things about you to their single friends, or 2) going out with a creepy wingman using an indirect opener,negging the target, and apply some tactics of some bootcamp you´ve paid 1000 dolares or some DVD with an advice of a former lonely nerd?

Not to say that pua´s are totally useless, I almost find ****y and funny to be magic. It´s ridiculous how well it works, but that´s it, all the other stuff you must do like socially healthy people do.

 

[PapiChulo]

I am skeptical of this. I can only befriend lesbians, the butch type. There are not that women that I would like to be friends with anyway, hence they arent funny, creative, or crazy as guys, nor they like stuff like cars, motorcycles, guns, and women. It also appears that you are simply using them to attract other women when you go out. Than how is this that they are not your type?

 

[RockaRolla25]

Maybe female acquaintances but not friends. You may know some girls who you never hang out with and then call them once in a while to go out. That's normal.

But that's not really being FRIENDS. What do you do with guy friends? You watch movies, you might play video games, you might play music in a band or for fun, you might play basketball, football, baseball, hockey, you might watch sports on tv, you might go to a bar, you might go out to eat, etc etc etc.

What would you do with a woman if you were her friend and you called her to hang out? Would you get lunch with her and then go shopping with her? Would you let her talk about guys to you and chew your ear off?

Basically, what would this woman friend be doing with you when you hang out that your guy friend's can't do?

Are you going to nudge your "woman friend's" arm and be like "you see the ass on that one?"

 

[Vice]

Woah. Ballet class.

Ealborate on your experience with ballet class, and a few justifications for a guy to join.

Untapped resource

 

[loveshogun]

Basically, what would this woman friend be doing with you when you hang out that your guy friend's can't do?

Are you going to nudge your "woman friend's" arm and be like "you see the ass on that one?"

They create a huge amount of credibility with women that would otherwise require a ton of game and careful social balancing.

Also, it may sound cliche, but having an insight into the female experience does help you gain an intuition for how they act. If your only interaction with women is through game, it can honestly get a bit boring.

And actually, with most of my women "acquaintances" (this is all semantics, but I'll agree with you on that term because I actually define friendship as someone whom I would die for and who would do the same for me... in which case, less than 10 people), I DO nudge them on the arm and say "look at the ass on that one." Is this something unacceptable or rude? Maybe, but none of them think so. A lot of times they'll point girls out to me. If a girl is hip to helping you wing, it can work in ways that you probably wouldn't have thought about, because the accepted advice out there is to not be friends with women.

In my world, I see that as only half of the truth - the practical half, but only half nonetheless. I go by this one:

Do not be friends with women whom you wish to be romantically involved with.

Or alternatively - do not use "friendship" and act "like a friend" with the ulterior motive of bedding a woman, because that sh*t is just weak, and they will smell it on you.

Anyway, my group of female friends ARE at arms length. But the benefit they bring to my social life (tons) outweigh the bullsh*t they bring into my life (none). This is the reason I remain acquainted with them.

No, I don't go shopping with them. No, I don't listen to their problems (though most of them don't have any and aren't the b*tchy type). We go out as a group. We party. We drink. We bring the club down. They are fun. Would I bang them? Yes - in some cases, I already have. But would I chase them for dates or lays? No, because I can realize they don't have what I really want in that department for more than 15 minutes. It's called d*ck control. Don't put it where it's not worth it to do so.

I don't disagree with most of your doubts - there's a reason the rule was created! What I'm saying here DOES NOT mean that friendship with women has never led to disaster for me. On the contrary, it has MANY times. But through those failures, I've really learned to filter out the women who are that mix of fun and outgoing, yet for a variety of reasons, I'm not attracted to romantically.

Don't you have any guy friends who you get along great with, but you full understand you could never be roommates with them? It's kinda like that.

So anyway, I hang with them for pretty much the same reason I have guy friends. Only there's a difference between showing up to a club with 5 guys, and showing up to a club with 5 girls (who are also dancers).

 

[zekko]

No, I don't go shopping with them.

If you go shopping with a woman, you'll never get out of the store.

 

[loveshogun]

Woah. Ballet class.

Ealborate on your experience with ballet class, and a few justifications for a guy to join.

Untapped resource

I enjoy dancing for its own sake. If you don't enjoy dancing, don't join. I'll admit I first started 8 years ago because I wanted to meet girls, but I soon discovered that I wish I'd been doing it my whole life. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the women are a bonus.

Some of them might be attracted to me, some of them might just "be friends" with me, but they all respect me as a dancer. That's honestly more important to me. That's because my priorities are as follows.

Life goals:
1) Have my fiction published in a well-known literary journal
2) Win a Latin dance championship at a regional level - if possible become national finalist
3) Become competent and respected in other forms of dance
4) Never quit

Really, I'm taking ballet as a way to strengthen my abilities in Latin. I dance Latin competitively, but never had formal training before that, and things like ballet and modern are the missing link.

In that way, I approach dance the same way I approach life - I find my weaknesses and eliminate them.