the "BPD ex" project

[Die Hard]

My last girlfriend was a classic BPD (she was very hot though! HB9!) After she almost destroyed my mind completely, I got rid of her and decided to never ever see her again. Over the last years, we did keep some contact through internet, though. Very little, maybe four times a year or something... It was always tempting to get into the games with her (she's really the type that considers each and every encounter as an opportunity to lure you into her mindgames) but I always refrained from it, I knew better than that. Sometimes I did get drawn into her games but as soon as I noticed she was getting control over me, I'd get the f*ck out. Over time, I've become comfortable at this, I can go in and out her world at ease. I am the one who decides whether I do or don't enter her world and I am the one who decides when I get out of it, she can't keep me there, she can't get a grip on me.

I can now say with absolute certainty that she'll never get to me again. Even if I allow her to draw me into her games, I'm confident she can't get to me. So please, don't try to talk me out of this, I know what I'm doing! Anyway, since I'm on my way to become a DJ, I feel this urge to try to get back at her. Not for revenge's sake (that would actually mean I'm not in control of myself) but more like a test. If I could just get to f*ck her and leave her after that, it would be the biggest victory I can imagine. And the thing is, I know she still wants me...each and every encounter we have on the internet, she tries to get me back, tells me she's changed and that it would be different this time, she even offered me to come live with her lol. The only thing I have to do, is not get trapped in her games...try to step over the traps she's setting while I make my way towards her p*ssy .

I am gonna do this, I am taking off on this adventure, you guys cannot talk me out of it, please try to respect that... But I know I'll fail without you guys backing me up, so in the end you can still keep me from doing it by not giving me advice haha. Because each and every step I'll make on this journey, I will only make after getting your advice on it, guys. I'm serious..on my own, I don't think I will be able to make it all the way to her p*ssy without falling into one of her traps, I need you experienced DJ's to think with me at every step...

So here's how this journey begins... I sent her an email yesterday:


"Hey BPD!

I was just wondering how you're doing! How's life for you these days?

See ya, Die Hard."


She replied last night (just one hour after I sent my email to her):


"Hey Die Hard,

Long time no see! Well, I'm doing fine... I could start off a whole story here through the internet but it wouldn't be that convenient. Feel free to call me sometime, my mobile number is *******"


So here's my plan: I'll call her this weekend or perhaps a few days later and try to evade the "tell me about your life and I'll tell you about mine" conversation as much as possible. Instead, I'll try to set up a meeting between her and me soon... But how to do all of this? She's very reluctant to meet up, I've tried to do it before in the past. I know she wants to play games through the internet and phone but gets uncomfortable once I try to set up a meet (really, just getting me to call her again after a few years, will be a big victory in her eyes. I was icecold when I dumped her, I totally ignored her in the weeks/months after and even though we do have some internet contact now and then, I never called her. She's not looking to meet me, she just wants my attention and getting me to call her will be enough attention for her to feel super happy... So I should ruin her initial happiness by not getting into a real conversation on the phone. She'll be dissapointed and hopefully give in to my "demand" to meet in real life). One thing I've thought of is Christmas is coming up. This might make her more receptive to see me? I don't know if she's single right now but I do now girls have a strong urge to be with someone when Christmas is approaching... I might even use Christmas as a pretext to meet up, by offering her to do some Christmas shopping. They all love shopping anyway but shopping for Christmas is even more special, right? Also, shopping doesn't come over as dating, not as much as having a drink or something, right? On the other hand, it seems like something that AFC's do, like you're just one of her girl friends... Then again, it wouldn't really matter in the end: I already know she feels attracted to me and she knows I do too (even though it's been years). More so, I'm going to do lots of kino on her once we meet and win her over...

But that's just some ideas... Perhaps I shouldn't even call her at all? She is already kinda grabbing the frame or am I wrong? She doesn't answer my question about how her life is going these days..instead, she let's me hunt after her. In a way, she tells me: First you have to call me, then I'll answer your question. And I'm sure she'll continue to go for the frame from the minute she picks up the phone, by continually asking me questions about my life and keep that position (as in: I'll be the one asking the questions here...) The games begin here already, she already tries to grab the frame lol.

So what should be my next move?

 

[jophil28]

My last girlfriend was a classic BPD (she was very hot though! HB9!) After she almost destroyed my mind completely, I got rid of her and decided to never ever see her again. Over the last years, we did keep some contact through internet, though. Very little, maybe four times a year or something... It was always tempting to get into the games with her (she's really the type that considers each and every encounter as an opportunity to lure you into her mindgames) but I always refrained from it, I knew better than that. Sometimes I did get drawn into her games but as soon as I noticed she was getting control over me, I'd get the f*ck out. Over time, I've become comfortable at this, I can go in and out her world at ease. I am the one who decides whether I do or don't enter her world and I am the one who decides when I get out of it, she can't keep me there, she can't get a grip on me.

I can now say with absolute certainty that she'll never get to me again. Even if I allow her to draw me into her games, I'm confident she can't get to me. So please, don't try to talk me out of this, I know what I'm doing! Anyway, since I'm on my way to become a DJ, I feel this urge to try to get back at her. Not for revenge's sake (that would actually mean I'm not in control of myself) but more like a test. If I could just get to f*ck her and leave her after that, it would be the biggest victory I can imagine. And the thing is, I know she still wants me...each and every encounter we have on the internet, she tries to get me back, tells me she's changed and that it would be different this time, she even offered me to come live with her lol. The only thing I have to do, is not get trapped in her games...try to step over the traps she's setting while I make my way towards her p*ssy .

I am gonna do this, I am taking off on this adventure, you guys cannot talk me out of it, please try to respect that... But I know I'll fail without you guys backing me up, so in the end you can still keep me from doing it by not giving me advice haha. Because each and every step I'll make on this journey, I will only make after getting your advice on it, guys. I'm serious, I don't think I will be able to make it all the way to her p*ssy without falling into one of her traps on my own, I need you experienced DJ's to think with me at every step...

So here's how this journey begins... I sent her an email yesterday:


"Hey BPD!

I was just wondering how you're doing! How's life for you these days?

See ya, Die Hard."


She replied last night (just one hour after I sent my email to her):


"Hey Die Hard,

Long time no see! Well, I'm doing fine... I could start off a whole story here through the internet but it wouldn't be that convenient. Feel free to call me sometime, my mobile number is *******"


So here's my plan: I'll call her this weekend or perhaps a few days later and try to evade the "tell me about your life and I'll tell you about mine" conversation as much as possible. Instead, I'll try to set up a meeting between her and me soon... But how to do all of this? She's very reluctant to meet up, I've tried to do it before in the past. I know she wants to play games through the internet and phone but gets uncomfortable once I try to set up a meet. One thing I've thought of is Christmas is coming up. This might make her more receptable to see me? I don't know if she's single right now but I do now girls have a strong urge to be with someone when Christmas is approaching... I might even use Christmas as a pretext to meet up, by offering her to do some Christmas shopping. They all love shopping and shopping for Christmas is extra pleasant, right? Also, shopping doesn't come over as dating, not as much as having a drink or something, right? On the other hand, it seems like something that AFC's do, like you're just one of her girl friends... Then again, it wouldn't really matter in the end: I already know she feels attracted to me and she knows I do too (even though it's been years). More so, I'm going to do lots of kino on her once we meet and win her over...

But that's just some ideas... Perhaps I shouldn't even call her at all? She is already kinda grabbing the frame or am I wrong? She doesn't answer my question about how her life is going these days..instead, she let's me hunt after her. In a way, she tells me: First you have to call me, then I'll answer your question. And I'm sure she'll continue to go for the frame from the the minute she picks up the phone, by continually asking me questions about my life and keep that position (as in: I'll be the one asking the questions here...) The games begin here already, she already tries to grab the frame lol.

So what should be my next move?

All women should have an honest girlfriend, and a full length mirror.

And all men should have a good buddy who is willing to slap some sense into a guy when he gets crazy ideas.

You are suffering from what AA calls "stinking thinking"
Read the first two lines of your post above . Especially about how she destroyed your mind, and you DECIDED to never ever see her again.
What happened to your resolve ?

You sound like one of those deluded idiots who break free of alcohol addiction for a few years and then DECIDE that they feel so strong and healthy that they can have, " just one".
That was the same guy who ,at his lowest , was loudly complaining a few years prior that alcohol "destoyed my life and I will never drink again" .

What makes you, and your ego, so sure that you can control a situation that was out of control a few years ago with Ms BPD.
The same two people are involved with the same pathology so it is likely that you will produce a similar outcome as before.

OH, never mind- just go ahead on this fools errand, and we will put you back together when you limp back here, all broken, cut and bleeding.

 

[realsmoothie]

Hahaahahahahahaha.... I hadn't been here in a while, and just felt the need to drop by again today. Why? Because my brain is STILL pooched after a BPD disaster over the summer, and I felt like I absolutely had to come on here and give everyone the basic rundown on how to discern a BPD girl before she locks her claws into you.

Dude, I'm not going to tell you to get the hell away... BUT GET THE HELL AWAY. I can tell by the super-extended length of your post that you are thinking about this way too much, and my previous experience with BPD shows that this means you are way, way too into her already.

You've fully convinced me to start that "intro to BPD" thread. Off to do it right now.

 

[Die Hard]

Hahaha, you F*ckers!!! Just help me out, will ya?! As I said, she will not get to me! I know I will not allow myself to be drawn into her world beyond the point of no return. Yes, I'm thinking a lot about this matter but that doesn't mean it controls me or whatever, you're assuming things too easily. I simply realize that this project is a major challenge and needs to be planned very carefully if I want it to succeed. That's why I'm putting a lot of thought to it, not because I'm "way too into her already". And yes, I know perfectly well that thinking a lot about her and how to deal with her makes me more vulnerable to her EVIL CLAWS. But I will remain in control of myself and I will not allow myself to get drawn into her world beyond the point of no return. When I notice that she's getting to me and I'm losing control over myself, I will eject right away! Even if I've already put very much effort into the project, I don't mind. Typical gamblers can't stop playing because they don't want to give up. The moment thewy give up, they know they have lost all their money for nothing...that's why they keep hoping to win and keep playing until they are a slave to the game... I am not going to act like that, do not worry!

Now please, would someone just believe in me? I already said you don't have to try and talk me out of this, I'm going for it anyway! So instead, please give me your support and stand beside me on the battlefield! Remember "300"? Leonidas and his Spartans going up against that huge @ss Persian army? I'm Leonidas right now and I'm fighting for ALL MEN, that means I'm fighting for you too, okay! Don't disregard me as a crazy fool..support me!

Now are there real men around here who are willing to stand beside me and help me in my mission?!

 

[realsmoothie]

No. I'm not enabling this, and I encourage others to do the same. I've spent too much of the last four months hating myself for the wrong reasons to support this kind of insanity!

 

[Hedonos]

Think about it!!

Then why did it **** you up in the first place? If this chic never hurt you then what makes you think she won't hurt you again. You ARE like an alcoholic. You think you are strong but just showing how weak you really are. But if you are going to do it, then let me give you this advice. As soon as you **** her, have another girl or girls on the side that you can **** or at least date. I repeat, have a girl or two on the back burner. That way, when you are thinking about her, you can fall back on them. That is all the advice I can give because a hard headed guy like you likes to break his own heart. Good Luck. Let us know how it all went down.

 

[jophil28]

Hahaha, you F*ckers!!! Just help me out, will ya?! As I said, she will not get to me! I know I will not allow myself to be drawn into her world beyond the point of no return.

You miss this point - she has already gotten to you, and she is in control of your feelings through your anger and resentment. And as long as you pursue this course of 'getting even' she will always win because you are acting out of revenge .Therefore you will make foolish choices and bad decisions - decisions which do not serve your own interests.
You are willing to commit your valuable time and energy to 'getting the better ' of her for in some badly conceived, and perverted desire to get square.

You don't 'get' BPD women. YOu can't get square with a three year old - and they have the emotional sophistication of a three year old , at best.

Even if you hump and dump her, she will feel nothing bad because she was done with you a longtime ago. Sex with you will be a little bit of instant gratification to her in which SHE will feel victorious. Women like her re-assign their ex men to the lowest level of the FZ while they start recruiting your replacement ( her next victim).

Sure, she will flirt with you, IM you, and might even fvck you, but to her, that will be proof of her ability to hoover you back at her will.

She wins all round .

 

[realsmoothie]

And, though I know this is kinda verboten on this site... BPD is a very serious condition. She may have screwed you over, but if she's really BPD there's a good chance it's not under her control. She may have really liked you... in those cases, the BPD REALLY gets under their skin and not only are they really there for you in the first little while, but it turns bad instantly and they're against you even worse back.

Really, it's just bad karma going after this girl. If you're as cool as you think you are, it should be beneath you, like stealing money from a retarded person. If you're NOT as cool as you think you are, you're in trouble.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

MNIN, really? What are you doing, man? Stop. You're in the MM forum - you're not going to find one misguided chump here to feed you pick up lines in your sad little ear to spit at a BPD who still continues to rip you apart from the inside out.

Try the high school forum.

 

[romangod]

Now are there real men around here who are willing to stand beside me and help me in my mission?!

A real man wouldn't encourage you in your folly. A real man would slap you across the face and tell you to snap out of it.

Of course, you won't listen. Confused saps usually don't.

Cheers!

 

[Die Hard]

@ hansol: game her and get in her pants is easy? I'm still a beginner DJ, you know... I'm DJ enough to keep myself from developing feelings for a girl when I know she's no good for me. But when it comes to the actual game of approaching girls and seducing them, I still have a long way to go. So I do need help with that. Ironically, most people here are trying to help me with the aspect I don't need help with :crazy:

@Hedonos: I'm not gonna break my heart because she will not have any entrance into it. I was deeply in love with her when we were in a relationship (I was stupid and unexperienced at that time), that's why she nearly destroyed my mind. I've been going through a huge change after that relationship, starting with getting over her but reaching far beyond that, changing my view on life completely and getting to the core of who I am, connecting all the dots from the way I was raised to the way my personality has developed etc. I am a totally different person from who I was then. And to be honest, there's no chance I'll ever get to like her again. Firstly because I know what that would lead to, but secondly, because her personality simply does not attract me at all.

@jophil28: I think I gave you the wrong impression. Let me repeat, I do not do this out of revenge! The idea that I will have ****ed the girl who once nearly destroyed my mind, is just a very special extra to me. The first and formost reason I wanna **** her is this: I'm trying to become a DJ, I'm trying to hone all my skills. That means doing more approaches, spinning several plates, learning how to do negs, how to do kino etc. everything. Now I may not have accomplished a lot yet but even so, I'm focussing on several girls, namely the two at my work (unfortunately, I've been sick at home for the last two days so I didn't see either of them, by the way). But I'll be open to any opportunity I see, if I happen to meet a nice chick on the bus or on the street, I'll go for her as well. Here's where the BPD comes in... We happened to have a little contact through internet, like 6 weeks ago. A few days ago, I suddenly thought of that and decided: "Hey, if I'm gonna take every opportunity I can get to hone my skills, I should try to pursue BPD!!" I already know she likes me, she's an HB9 and she will not be able to get her claws into me anymore. I've got nothing to lose and if all goes well, I can f*ck a HB9 (supposing she still looks like she did a few years ago, shemight as well have has turned into a whale lol). This is really the way I came to my decision. The idea that I'll have ****ed and left behind a girl who once nearly destroyed me, is just a very nice addition, it will give me a huge ego-boost. But it's not the real reason why I do this, nor will it become so. The real reason is I just want to f*ck her cause she's hot and I know it's possible. I just need to have the right approach because I know she is not out to f*ck me. Her objective is just to get attention from me in any way she can, I need to find a way around that and seduce her. I know that's possible, because she really is just stupid and easy to manipulate. I couldn't do that in the past because I was totally infatuated with her and supplication was all I could do. I know she find me attractive and I know she wants to f*ck me deep down inside (she wanted in the past so...). She just has this armor that I have to break through. I know she'll probably try to manipulate me first and only when she has the feeling that she is in control, she will allow me to f*ck her. I wanna find a way around that, make her believe that she is in control or something. Or just sweeping her off her feet by overwhelming her senses so she just won't be able to resist her own primal urge to get f*cked by me. It's this whole game that I need help with, not with keeping myself detached, I can do that.

Jophil, you said she wins all round. That she will regard sex with me as proof of her ability to hoover me back at will. But I'm not part of that game, I don't think in terms of winning or losing, it is not a battle for me. I just want to get into her pants one time and that's it. If it works, I am one step further on my way to become a DJ, if it doesn't work, I'll be on my way to the next girl. I don't care if she thinks she can hoover me back at will, that's her way of thinking, she sees it all as one big opportunity to have power over me. I don't enter into this kind of thinking. As a matter of fact, I hope she will consider sex with me the way you said she will. That means I can use that knowledge of her in order to manipulate her into sex with me! I really don't care what she thinks of me, herself and what we did, I'll just have my experience points and be on to the next girl.

 

[seano99]

dangerous territory here. your mind doesn't need it man.

from experience, this girl is an attention seeker..

she'll probably let you kiss her, and stop you there. that's probably it. she'll "win" and you'll be all fscked up, you could well fall for her again?

dont give her the satisfaction of playing with you. she is not worthy of your attention.

if you HAD to go ahead and do this, like you say. i suggest that the "game" you want to play, needs to start and finish in the same day/night. this is because she wont have time to go away and think about it, and her plans for you. if you meet up with her, you need to fsck her that night. if it gets dragged out any longer, you'll lose.

 

[squirrels]

What do you hope to gain by trying to "out-game" this girl?

A hot piece of tail? There are plenty of those out there, many who require less "out-gaming" than a BPD chick.

Personal satisfaction? "Revenge"? If you go back into this with something to prove, she already has a way into your head and will use your motivations here against you.

"BPD women" (a label I don't really like...I prefer "psycho b!tches") operate by playing on people's egos. By doing this, trying to gratify your ego and wanting to "win at all costs", you're pretty much walking in with your nose open. You're giving her everything she needs to get in your head again.

Bold. But not smart.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

The very fact that you wish to prove something to this BPD bird, or to prove something to yourself regarding this BPD bird, shows that your logical faculty is compromised when it comes to her.

Just walk away, get it right (or better) next time, and bear in mind Rollo's law about Not Messing with Exes. He's right, NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS, your pathology with this girl is well-established and even though you have made advancements since your time with her, re-establishing a connection with her will put you right back where you were. You will be confused, disoriented, and in the end, the greatest tragedy will be that you will have wasted more of your TIME on this same bird.

Onward and Upward! Not onward, then backwards so I can try to make my past mistakes right again only to waste my time and derail my forward momentum.

 

[Die Hard]

Never mind then, I'll forget the whole thing... I was very clear that this is not about revenge or about proving something to her/myself. Still you guys keep assuming that it is! And based on that false assumption, you reason that I won't be able to stay out of her evil claws and therefor tell me I should not go on this mission. I honestly appreciate your advice, guys, I really do! But how can I take your advice serious if you don't take what I say serious? I told you it's not about revenge, I told you I don't have anything to prove to her or myself, I told you I will easily eject this mission as soon as I notice that she's getting under my skin after all.... Still you keep advicing me based on the assumption that it is about revenge, that I do want to prove something to her or myself and that I will not abandon this mission before she gets under my skin.

I'm really not trying to be disrespectful to you, I know you have the best intentions and I really appreciate the fact that you're kind enough to even read my story and respond to it! But tell me, how I can take your responses serious when you base them on assumptions which are absolutely opposite of what I told you? It's like I tell you guys: "Hey, I'm gonna jump out a plane tomorrow but I do have a parachute." And then you guys respond: "Are you crazy? Don't do it! You need to have a parachute if you're gonna do that!"

By the way, this is nonsense:

So keeping that metaphor in mind, you are telling me you want to go hunt man-eating lions, yet you don't even know how to track them, let alone how to fire your Holland and Holland bore gun? Because by posting that you want to seduce your BPD ex, and yet have to ask here for tips as to where to start, you're essentially doing the above.

You mix up attack and defence while these are seperate things. Just as it is possible for a boxer to have a perfect defence (not one punch from his opponent comes through) but at the same time have a worthless offence (not being able to throw strong and technical punches at his opponent), it is possible for a person to be very good at defending BPD's every attempt to control his mind but at the same time be very weak at seduction skills. These two things are related to each other but they're not the same! Being able to defend her attempts to gain control over you, does raise her interest for you but you still need skills to take advantage of her raised interest for you. Her being interested in sex with you is not the same as you and her actually f*cking each other, you still need to do something with her interest, take some steps before you actually are f*cking her. You are mixing two things up, you reason that if I'm not able to seduce her (by which I mean actually taking the practical steps that lead up to sex), I'm not able to defend myself against her games. That's flawed logic, the two are seperate qualities, even though they're connected. For example, I could not give a **** what she thinks of me, even if she tells me everyday that I'm an ugly pig. It wouldn't mean a thing to me... I am immune to her! But that doesn't mean I'm good at flirting, doing kino in the right way at the right moment, choosing the perfect setting for a meeting, knowing exactly how to make the transition from being with her at a table in a restaurant towards being in her apartment, how to say the things that need to be said in order to make this transition smooth etc. etc. etc. Being able to not let her control me or my feelings is not the same as being able to get in her bed, there's a whole area of doing practical things in between. I am not great at doing that stuff, but I am great at staying immune to her mind games. Me asking you guys for help on doing the practical things to get in her bed, doesn't mean I'm unable to stay out of her evil claws.

Anyway, as I said before, I won't undertake this mission if you guys don't back me up. I want all the advice I can get when doing this thing but no one backs me up, so I won't do it. But your reasons for not backing me up are based on wrong assumptions... So if anyone ever gets to realize this and decides to give me his support and advice after all, I'll go on with it. Until that time the mission's been cancelled, I thank you all for your thoughts!

 

[jophil28]

how I can take your responses serious when you base them on assumptions which are absolutely opposite of what I told you? It's like I tell you guys: "Hey, I'm gonna jump out a plane tomorrow but I do have a parachute." And then you guys respond: "Are you crazy? Don't do it! You need to have a parachute if you're gonna do that!"

YOu can claim whatever you want to about your 'motives' , nobody here believes you.
The sort of campaign that you are planning is always about revenge, getting the upper hand, coming out on top , or prevailing . There is no other logical explanation of your motive, in spite of the spin that you have tried to sell us to the contrary..
IF you just want sex, there is no NEED to hunt a BPD woman for it. They are the worst source of supply - There is an abundance of pvssy out there. Half the population is walking around with one.

Re your parachute analogy. WE are not telling you to get a 'chute' . We are telling you not to jump because the parachute that you think will save you from crashing to earth is not gonna work when you pull the cord.

Ultimately, why not put all your effort into finding another woman (or three ) who will enhance your life rather than contaminate it with her pathology.

 

[Die Hard]

Because I think I can prevent her from contaminating my life with her pathology, simple as that. You think I cannot and I respect that. I've adviced people many, many times not to do something of which they thought they were strong enough to do it. So I've been in your position time and time again and I totally respect it. No point in arguing, I believe I can prevent her contaminating my life with her pathology, you don't. Even though I think you're wrong, it simply ends here. I need your advice on seduction if I'm gonna pursue sex with her but you won't give it to me because you wanna protect me. I totally respect that and I can't change it so I'll just give up on the idea to pursue sex with this girl.

By the way (just for the sake of discussing an interesting statement!), I agree that BPD's are the worst source of supply indeed. However, I think there is a "but..." and it is: not for one night stands. ****ing BPD's has a risk attached to it, you can get sucked into their world, their mindgames, their pathology can contaminate your life. But for this to happen, you have to have more contact with them than just one night. And to link this to my own situation after all (sorry, can't resist ): This is exactly what I was planning to do with her. I think seano99's advice to play this whole game in just one day/night fits into this line of thinking very well. If you people would put together a solid plan of approach for this "all in one day-game", I'd stick with it and eject just as easily if it doesn't work out the way it was supposed to. Really, it would be frustrating if I did my utmost best that day but in the end, she just won't let me f*ck her. But I tell you, I wouldn't have any problem to leave it behind me and accept the fact that it didn't work. I wouldn't be telling myself (like the stupid gambler): "Ah, come on, you were almost there, just one more meeting and you'll reach your goal" etc. etc. I know that's gonna get me into trouble, so I would just accept the failure of my mission and ignore her after that. But as I said: you don't blieve I'm able to and it's no use for me to try to convince you of it... I'll forget about this project and expect you to help me out twice as hard with the girls at my work in return!

 

[jophil28]

...so I'll just give up on the idea to pursue sex with this girl.

No you won't.
You will just go ahead with this mission without telling us.

Then, when you find that your addiction to her has been reactivated, and she has you squirming in her toxic web, you will limp back here asking for our help.

There is an old tale in AA from the late 1930's about a particularly stubborn and egodriven 'customer' who refused to quit drinking even though he frequently attended meetings. He continued to do it 'his way' thinking that he could just use the meetings as a safety net to support him in his determination to pursue a life of 'controlled drinking'.
He believed that he was 'different' and that abstinence was not for him because he had 'control' over the worst of his drinking . The evidence,of course, said that his life was unmanageable, but denial is a powerful force.

Anyways, BILL W became frustrated at this man's refusal to get into the program and irritated because this man was consuming the time, energy and resources of the group, so he went to the guy and said, " I think that you might be just a social drinker and maybe you do not have a problem. Go out and continue drinking."

Of course the guy did just that.

NO prize for guessing how it turned out.

 

[Die Hard]

Wow, Jophil... When I discovered this place recently, I read some of your stories and you really were sort of an instant hero for me. "That guy is what I wanna be" is what I thought. So I really hate the fact that you don't believe me but I must admit it makes sense. I've become sort of an expert at BPD's, literally 9 out of 10 of my GF's was one (yeah I know, I must be a real idiot if that's true) and I've been "studying" them and their behaviour for yeaaaars. Both in my own encounters with them as reading lots of material about them, I've also been member of one of their forums for years and questioned them about their thoughts and behaviour extensively. After gaining all this experience and wisdom, I have reached one conclusion: When you meet one, get the hell out of there! There is no way to change them, to get through to them, to get anything from them. Each and every contact with them is pointless and will just put you at greater risk to get trapped in their webs. I've been there time and time again, I have been the guy that you think I am (thinking I could stay out of their web and pursuing them anyway) and it always turned out as a disaster. I've been in your position, advicing some fool who thought he was strong enough, hundreds of times. They never listen, they always try to make me and themselves think that they can do it after all. They delude themselves and I know each and every trick that their own mind is playing on them. A lot of times they think they are not doing it for revenge too, they just don't realize that unconsciously they do....

So I'd react the same way you do and I'd think the same things you do if someone came here and said the things I've said. But you are wrong... Now you can keep coming back and say that you're not wrong but I'll keep coming back and say that you are wrong. You might be a hero to me as a DJ, I hope to gain a lot of wisdom from you over time and you being one of this forum's greatest examples, I really want you to like me. But you're aboslutely wrong in this matter, I dare to say that my knowledge and experience with BPD's greatly surpasses yours, I know their ways better than you and I'm at a better position to assess my own chances of going on this mission without getting trapped in her web. It's understandable, you don't know me, you should react to me the way you did, I would too! But still, you're wrong about me and I will keep repeating that over and over again because it's the truth and I won't deny the truth, not even if it means pissing off my hero.

I won't go on this mission, simply because I don't think I have the DJ skills to manipulate her into sleeping with me on short term. She'll try to "get to know" me again first, feel comfortable with me again..and only after that, she'll want to give herself to me. Of course I'm not gonna follow that path, I'd be a fool if I were willing to do that just to get in her pants (as a matter of fact, if I were willing to do that, it would prove that I'm not strong enough to stay out of her control). I just wanted to try to work around that process of her getting to know me and feel comfortable with me, overwhelm her defences by playing on her sexual desires in such a strong way that she'd just allow herself to give into them. But I don't have the skills for that, so I thought maybe I could do it with the help of you experienced DJ's over here. So since I'm not getting that help, it would be pointless to go on this mission and that's why I won't do it. But I know I can stay out of her web, I know she can't get to me and you are wrong when you think I'm deluding myself with that thought, Jophil.

 

[romangod]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Deluded and in denial.

Cheers!