"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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The best way to find high interest girls

DonJuanabe

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If you really want to stop wasting time, focus on girls who share an activity in which you have high interest. I don't mean take up swing dancing because you'll meet girls, or a singles cooking class, or whatever. I mean try to meet girls who are as into a hobby as you are. Do you run marathons? Meet girls at a running club or a race. Do you rock climb? Meet girls at a climbing gym. Do you make pastries? Meet girls at a pastry competition. Martial arts? Meet girls at a training session. What do you like to do, not because there might be girls who like it too, but simply because YOU like it?

Think about what this does: It gives you an activity to share that translates into an active date rather than the typical dinner and movie. You know that something that occupies a lot of your time will not create conflict or argument since it also occupies her time. You will develop genuine friendship rather than let's just be friendship. Most importantly, it prevents you from wasting time doing things you don't like for the sake of getting a girl.

DJBe
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Nutz

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I'm finding faster success and way more investment from women when I move fast, get in their space, and escalate quickly. What really helped me recently with this is when I started using the escalation pointers in the 60 Years of Challenges.

Doing stuff like you mentioned is a good way for finding women with common interests, but it does nothing for finding women with high interest in YOU.
 

betheman

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Nutz said:
I'm finding faster success and way more investment from women when I move fast, get in their space, and escalate quickly. What really helped me recently with this is when I started using the escalation pointers in the 60 Years of Challenges.

Doing stuff like you mentioned is a good way for finding women with common interests, but it does nothing for finding women with high interest in YOU.
what are these escalation pointers?
 

bigneil

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Whether a woman has high interest in you seems independent of the venue where you meet, but you might get your foot in the door if you meet women you have something in common with.

I'm finding that when women are attracted they instantly hook up with you, but there is a weak bond. It takes a month of dating them to strengthen the bond.

And remember the law of averages: if you pick up twice as many women, you'll have twice as many women flake.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Zerro

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DonJuanabe said:
Most importantly, it prevents you from wasting time doing things you don't like for the sake of getting a girl.
Anytime I someone tries to get me to do something I don't want to do because "C'mon, chicks dig a guy who's into this!" I respond that if I'm not interested in doing it then I'm not going to stick with it, I'm not going to enjoy it, and the women will notice that and get the impression that I'm just putting up a front and not being genuine.
 

loveorlust

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All very good suggestions, thanks.

Good luck and all the best with women.
 

nismo-4

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Different people like different things.

When you have a like or interest, put yourself first. Then a woman can supplement you.

Not every woman is gonna like you. Just remember to have a life and don't make women the sole focus of it. Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed. Go treat yourselves to a movie.:rockon:
 

DonJuanabe

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That's just it Judge Nismo -- you ARE doing YOUR thing when you potentially meet a girl who also likes that same thing. I am not talking about small things, or things for the purpose of meeting girls, but things you are passionate about that you simply love to do regardless of anyone or anything. A really good example is triathlon training. People who do it spend enormous amounts of time, energy, and mental focus on it. Besides making for better compatibility long term if someone isn't going detract from that, meeting a girl who also is into it makes dating that much more fun -- you train together. You don't stop doing it just because she isn't interested in you -- you keep doing your thing and didn't waste time, money, effort doing **** you actually don't like (e.g. trying to learn Latin dance, or going to a bar if you don't like drinking, or whatever).
 

MisterD

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This would work better if girls were logical.

You think--hey, she's cute, i'm cute, she's single, i'm single, we have the same hobbies, she definitely wants to date me! we have so much in common!

that's not how attraction works

you can both be liberal hippie vegans and think it's only a matter of time, meanwhile she falls for some super conservative hunter douche.

hobbies get you friends, SOMETIMES romantic connections, but not always

high interest girls come from anywhere, at anytime. you can't go out looking for them, just recognize who they are when they come into your life
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Nutz

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betheman said:
what are these escalation pointers?

The two things that helped me the most were:

1. Vin Dicarlo's Kino Escalation Ladder. Google it, it's free online.

2. "Fearless Relentless Escalation" from 60 Years of Challenges

The short short version is get into her personal space, create sexual tension (typically with lots of eye contact and careful use of pauses), and be physically dominant.

You'll scare off a lot more women with this style of game than you would with trying to be coy and indirect, but you'll also get success a lot quicker than most.

I've been doing this stuff for a long time and I'd say most guys have somewhere around a 50-100:1 success rate, or about 1-2%. For every 50-100 women they approach, they'll have sex with one of them. The reality though is that when you approach that many women, often times that's going to include a lot of women that normally wouldn't be your first (or second, or third) choice. Granted this is includes your typical AFCs who go out a lot on the weekends and may manage to bang one of the bottom of the barrel women still hanging around at last call. For guys that have tight game, their ratio is probably closer to 10-20:1. For every 10 or 20 women they approach, they'll hook up with one of them. That's actually a really good average in my experience. Furthermore, it's a lot tighter quality control, so to speak, as the women they end up taking home usually are higher quality in the looks department. So what does all this have to do with being more direct and sexual? You're going to scare off a lot of women. In fact they may think you're creepy as hell. On the other hand you're going to run into a woman who is super attracted and DTF much faster than going indirect and so you won't have to approach as much, and in my experience the quality of women you're hooking up with will go up as well.
 

Zerro

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MisterD said:
hobbies get you friends, SOMETIMES romantic connections, but not always

high interest girls come from anywhere, at anytime. you can't go out looking for them, just recognize who they are when they come into your life
That is true however when a high interest chick finds out that the two of you have nothing in common, or have conflicting interests, then her interest level tends to drop off pretty fast. Which is fine if you only want a quick lay or two out of her but not when you'd like a chick you can keep for a good while. Having common interests can give you a wider window to work with so you don't feel as rushed.
 
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