The best article you will ever read on BPD

[JonnyD123]

http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

Been doing a lot of over analyzing with the end of my recent relationship. BPD is talked about A LOT on here, and I've always speculated it might just be an excuse brought on by the man unable to keep his woman happy. This article opened my eyes immensely. I'm not a full blown narcissist, but I do have narcissistic tendencies, which mixed with a BPD, is recipe for disaster. It's kind of long, but read on. I promise you will not be disappointed.

 

[bigneil]

Well, if you assume I'm a male narcissist and my last girlfriend was borderline, this article was quite accurate describing our relationship.

"The codependent narcissist has become a super-giver to compensate for feelings of inadequacy, and doesn't realize when he's given enough. The Borderline has become a super-seducer and user, to validate/codify her sense of worth."

However, I still wonder whether this article is simply discussing an exaggerated version of men and women in general.

 

[bigneil]

This part is NOT true: "In truth, the Narcissist is no match for the Borderline. It doesn't matter how smart or powerful he is, she'll turn his world upside-down to where he could lose his entire fortune, acquire a serious disease, and literally become a shadow of his former self. "

Truth be told, I got the best of her. I manipulated the manipulator. I had her paying for my dates, especially toward the end, and she was dumbfounded how I did that. She said (while singing my praises) "You beat me on MY terms! I'm the one who gets people to pay!". In the end, I walked away on my terms.

Not only did she not turn my world upside down, but my life was improved dramatically - in fact it was the best year of improvement of my life (I worked a 9 month contract and a 12 month contract which overlapped by 7 months). That extra energy (without my every missing one day) was because she healed me physically. Why? Because of this part of the article that IS true:

"Erectile dysfunction is generally blamed on the wife of many years--when it's actually just a symptom of pre-existing intimacy issues, that have reached critical mass. I think of ED more as Emotional Dysfunction, than any problems with male physiology. In most cases, this is a psychic/emotional impairment--not a physical one.

The narcissistic male places himself in a double-bind, when he attributes his organ's enthusiastic response to the female who's awakened it from a deep slumber. Initially, some magical thinking presumes that she's responsible for his newfound sexual prowess--and as such, they're meant to sail off into the sunset together. Before long though, all this power he assigns to her is a bit intimidating/scary for him. "

So, by my being strong enough not to get attached I was able to get the healing I needed, increase my fortune and escape relatively unharmed and disease-free. That said, walking away from her was extremely painful. No pain, no gain.