The Bartender

[In10se]

So there is a bar that me and friends regularly go to and two weeks ago this new bartender started working a shift with another bartender who I'm already friends with. Her name is Ashley and she works with my friend Jen. Me and Jen exchanged numbers at the beginning of the summer, but she's had an older boyfriend for awhile so I never pursued anything with her. She is cool and always introduces me to any of the other cute girls that she thinks I would like at the bar. Ashley is a fiery little 9 and after a beer or two and a little flirty conversation she turns to Jen and says things like ...man he's cute I love him. Things like that...then she suggests that we grab a beer sometime.

Now this is where she starts playing games, since she is 23 and I'm 21 she likes to act like we have some huge age gap and says "we should go out and grab a beer, but you are my little brother. Confusing comment. Anyway she eagerly exchanges numbers and I didn't do anything with it for a week because she works two jobs and told me she would be really busy.

I ended up seeing her briefly last weekend and she told me to text her
Wednesday because that was her off day. I texted her and she said she was doing nothing, but when I suggested going out she didn't respond.

Saw her yesterday and I just focused on my phone and enjoyed my beer. She kept making comments like "you are really quiet, what's so important on there" "Who ya talking to" Then I was like oh I'm just talking to a few people, what's up? She responds by saying "its ok, you can't do anything wrong because I love you" I finish my beer and she grabs my hands and says ughhh I'm exhausted, text me soon.

Worth pursuing? If so how? I will be drinking there again all night for the superbowl next Sunday, but I'll be at a different bar tonight right near where she works. Try to take her home after work? I'm at a loss with this one.

 

[FairShake]

You offered to go out and she didn't even respond.

You are friends at a bar. Nothing more at this time.

 

[In10se]

See normally I would agree, but when we first met she lead into a lot of sexually charged and flirtatious convo and made it very clear that she thinks I'm good looking. I think she is way to busy for a relationship, but definitely needs some quality love I just need a clever way to get her out, ideally when she's not exhausted.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Attention *****?
Trying to LJBF (let's just be friends) you?

I would laugh when she said about the aging gap showing that it's nothing!

Instead of you having the ball, why don't you say something like, "you know, I don't really know when are you gonna be free, so you should text me and if I'm free too we can go for that beer" or something like that! Make her chase you cause you already failed once (though it wasn't your fault, you know what I mean)!

 

[runner83]

Instead of you having the ball, why don't you say something like, "you know, I don't really know when are you gonna be free, so you should text me and if I'm free too we can go for that beer" or something like that! Make her chase you cause you already failed once (though it wasn't your fault, you know what I mean)!

^

I don't agree with this. Real men go after what they want, only beta chumps put things back into control of the woman.

And forget whatever b/s she says about loving you or any of that, it means nothing. Only actions matter!

So she blew you off once...for whatever reason...

I think you are over thinking this, no harm in trying one more time, get an idea of when she will be free, and arrange something definite for a set time.

If she is not working then, and you have something planned, and she won't go for it, then she isn't interested.

If that happens, that is 2 strikes rule and you move on, and you have the advantage tyhat you frequent the bar where she works.

Bring a hotter chick than her there one day when you know she is working and see how she reacts.

 

[DonJuanit0]

^

I don't agree with this. Real men go after what they want, only beta chumps put things back into control of the woman.

And forget whatever b/s she says about loving you or any of that, it means nothing. Only actions matter!

So she blew you off once...for whatever reason...

I think you are over thinking this, no harm in trying one more time, get an idea of when she will be free, and arrange something definite for a set time.

If she is not working then, and you have something planned, and she won't go for it, then she isn't interested.

If that happens, that is 2 strikes rule and you move on, and you have the advantage tyhat you frequent the bar where she works.

Bring a hotter chick than her there one day when you know she is working and see how she reacts.

She says I love you like he is cute! Not because she means that she loves him! She is kinda making fun of him cause he is younger! I think by throwing the ball you just make yourself clear that you won't chase her anymore and therefor if she is an AW (which she probably are) you'll get rid of her! I agree though with going there with a hotter chick!

 

[FairShake]

See normally I would agree, but when we first met she lead into a lot of sexually charged and flirtatious convo and made it very clear that she thinks I'm good looking. I think she is way to busy for a relationship, but definitely needs some quality love I just need a clever way to get her out, ideally when she's not exhausted.

I don't know about you but just about every woman I come across does this to a certain extent. I know that I could only bang about 25% of them though since flirtatious conversation is a dime a dozen with them.

Her actions speak louder than words. If she isn't angling to spend alone time with me when the offer is out there I know it's not going any further. Generally it isn't that difficult when they want you. They make the time eventually.

Don't give up but put her on the backburner if you want to. Way back.