The "Baby Talk" opener

[Atom Smasher]

The other night I was in the presence of some adults dealing with a baby. They were doing the usual crazy "baby talk" routine with the kid.

You can imagine the baby thinking, "WTF?"

But anyway, this morning I was day-dreaming before getting out of bed and came up with the "Baby Talk" opener.

Rest assured, this opener (as I envision it) cannot be done solo. You must find a fellow douche just like yourself in order to pull this off.

Imagine going to the beach or a park and walking up to girls and talking to them as if they're babies. Think of the way grown-ups speak in that exagerated baby-talk way...

"Who's a good girl? Are you a good girl? Are you sitting in the sun? Are you playing with your phone? Say hello! Is that your little chair? Who's in the blankie? Is that you in the blankie? Peek-a-Boo!!"

Maybe shake a baby's rattle at her.

I can imagine this being pretty darn funny. I'm going to have to field test this come Springtime. Most of my friends are married, so I'll have to figure out who would be game to try this with me.

I think this would work because of its shear audacity, the comical one-on-one attention you're giving her, and the fact that you're hitting a very primal nerve in her (attraction to babies and motherhood).

This is a far cry from my "Zero Eye Contact" opener, eh boys? You've gotta have a lot of variety in your arsenal.

 

[Sneevox]

Hahahahahaha, I think this would be hilarious. Of course, how much it works would probably be conditional based on the person you do it to, so you'd have to do it quite a few times before you say whether or not it works.

Good luck, though, mate!

 

[goundra]

I think that you will either get the cops called on you for stalking or being a nutjob or you will get kicked in the gonads for insulting her intelligence.

 

[Bushmaster]

LOL, ever had a girl baby-talk you? Pretty standard in flirting, go for it!

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think that you will either get the cops called on you for stalking or being a nutjob or you will get kicked in the gonads for insulting her intelligence.

Who's a party pooper? Is goundra a party-pooper? Does he have poopy pants? Who's a bad boy?.....

 

[Atom Smasher]

LOL, ever had a girl baby-talk you? Pretty standard in flirting, go for it!

Yes, it's cute when girls do that. I just want to be clear, though, that I'm talking about speaking like a grown-up talkiung to a baby, not like a baby itself.

Who's a good boy? Bushmaster's a good boy!!