The b*tch shield

[YT827]

Is this shield only up when a female is around an average or below-average guy? Does a chick raise and lower her ***** shield at a party when there's hot and ugly guys around, depending on who's in her vicinity?



Oh, any tips on how to be more clever when starting a conversation with a female? I don't think women respond to "hi" very well. It seems like a man has to be spontaneous and make a humourous comment about something she's doing or wearing for her to take notice.

 

[YT827]

So?

 

[Lexington]

Yes, b*tch shields can be lowered and raised. Girls will lower their shields for extremely good looking guys or guys of high status. If you were a famous celebrity and you walked into a bar and talked to a hot girl, do you think they might be friendly?

Guys who are not very good looking or if a very high status (and that's the vast majority of us) have to work a bit harder, but it can be done.

 

[YT827]

Why does it feel like I get the ***** shield a lot?

I haven't really put myself into the game because I spent a year working on myself. I worked out and look much better than my skinny old self. I've joined activities and met people with whom I hang out with every so often. I'm working full-time at a job that I can call a career.

Now that I'm ready for the game...ready to make approaches...I get the feeling girls just don't like me. For example, in some of the activities that I'm a part of...where it's perfectly normal for people to be friendly towards one another...girls laugh and joke around with other guys but completely avoid me. When I say avoid, I mean never stand in proximity in which a conversation can be started...absolutely no eye contact. Or I may be introduced to a girl if I go out with some people and she gives me a lackluster 'hi' and ignores me the rest of the night. But once again, she makes conversation with other guys and she's friendly with everyone but me.

I don't know what's wrong with me...! Does anyone else feel the same way? Despite all my efforts to better myself, women still don't respond.

Or maybe ALL attractive girls aren't friendly until the man breaks the ice?
Should I just ignore their unfriendliness and go out of my way to make conversation with them?

Please advise.

 

[Igetit!]

Why does it feel like I get the ***** shield a lot?

How should we know? All we see are words on a computer screen.

I'm just joking with you man. Look,the "b!tch shield" is there for protection.

It's to weed out the wimps,and/or deflect UNWANTED attention.


If you REPEATEDLY seem to get this from girls,then there's a good chance that there's something your unknowingly doing that's causing it,but don't worry though,it can easily be fixed.

I haven't really put myself into the game because I spent a year working on myself. I worked out and look much better than my skinny old self. I've joined activities and met people with whom I hang out with every so often. I'm working full-time at a job that I can call a career.

These are all good things. You need to get your confidence and self-esteem from these things and NOT FROM how a single interaction goes with some "chick" who you don't know and will never see again.

Now that I'm ready for the game...ready to make approaches...I get the feeling girls just don't like me.

Bingo.

You get a "feeling" that girls don't like you.

So when you're around girls,this is how you "feel".

Well,that'll do it. I've said this a BILLION times,but here goes....


WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL.


Understand what I mean by that. I DON'T MEAN that they cry easily.

What I mean is that they're SENSITIVE to emotion.



If you're around a girl,and you're "feeling" or giving off an emotion,if you're expressing it strongly enough,women can pick up on it,then they'll start to feel it too.


You said that you "feel" like girls don't like you. That's your thinking.
That's in your mind.



If that's how you act and behave around a girl,it'll come off as you being insecure and being uncomfortable with yourself.

Girls will sense that negative vibe coming off of you,then it'll make them feel uncomfortable too.



It's not really YOU they're trying to get away from,it's the way THEY FEEL when they're around you.



This is EASY to correct. All you have to do is ALREADY HAVE within YOURSELF and express whatever it is you're wanting from the girl.



So it goes like this....


If you want her to be warm and friendly,then YOU must be warm and friendly....FIRST.

If you want her to feel comfortable around YOU,then YOU must be comfortable around yourself...FIRST.


If you want her to be talkative,then YOU must be talkative...FIRST.


You want a girl to open up about herself? Then YOU must open up about yourself FIRST.



WHATEVER IT IS you're wanting to get out of a girl,you must EXPRESS IT to her FIRST.



In fact,you've ALREADY been doing this. You've been giving off uncomfortable vibes because of that "feeling" you get of girls not liking you.


That's what YOU'VE been giving off,so that's why you feel like that's what you're getting back from girls.



The next time you're around a girl,START OFF being open and talkative REGUARDLESS of how you feel,keep being open and talkative AS LONG AS she stays there with you.


What will happen is she'll see how open and comfortable you are with yourself,then it'll make HER FEEL open and comfortable with YOU.

I don't know what's wrong with me...!

There's nothing wrong with you. In fact,the ONLY THING wrong with you is you thinking that there's something wrong.


That thought in itself will cause you to act weird,then it'll make people around you wonder what your deal is and make them uncomfortable.

Or maybe ALL attractive girls aren't friendly until the man breaks the ice?

Were you waiting on the girls to approach you and break the ice?

You'll have a looong wait.


You're the MAN. YOU take the lead.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I will tell you this. It's all in your mind. If you've EVER had a girlfriend, a oneitis, you can walk around throughout this life "as if" you have a girlfriend, because you know what it feels like to hold hands to look deep into her eyes, to smell her neck, lick or bite her ears, and hold her tight, or push her away. You know what it's like; therefore, you can be ANYwhere and give off this understanding. And that's what most women want in a guy: Understanding, body language of "even though I'm alone someone is always with me, and will be with me later, when I get home." You give off that aura, that you've ALWAYS got someone with you, and you do in Jesus, God, the memory of an ex, a childhood friend, a childhood favorite cousin, brother, sister, Dog. You're never alone.

Because I'm extremely comfortable in my own skin, because I'm Never alone. Heck, I consider myself and my own thoughts good company. I sing songs to myself now and again to keep myself in an upbeat spiritual mode.

Women Try to sit by me. Other guys at a bar or a club are dumbfounded as to Why women they are trying so desperately to game, are sitting next to me on the couch who is vocal and speaks in an inordinary way usually taylored to whatever woman is to my right or to my left. I'm forever listening for clues about them, and I'll contribute branch after branch of yarns about their predicament. You can spin spin spin stories off of what women say and hold them captive. It doesn't even have to be true. In fact, most of the time it isn't. I've told them my wife just died in a plane crash, and they go home and sleep with me out of sympathy.

Guys will be AMOGing me over at the couch and it still doesn't work. I'll befriend them or I'll say the exact opposite of them and smile and let them try to tarnish my image. The girls know that I'm not "most guys" and they'll see right through him. I guess the only way a guy is going to make me angry is to take a swing at me.

 

[Lexington]

Why does it feel like I get the ***** shield a lot?

I haven't really put myself into the game because I spent a year working on myself. I worked out and look much better than my skinny old self. I've joined activities and met people with whom I hang out with every so often. I'm working full-time at a job that I can call a career.

Now that I'm ready for the game...ready to make approaches...I get the feeling girls just don't like me. For example, in some of the activities that I'm a part of...where it's perfectly normal for people to be friendly towards one another...girls laugh and joke around with other guys but completely avoid me. When I say avoid, I mean never stand in proximity in which a conversation can be started...absolutely no eye contact. Or I may be introduced to a girl if I go out with some people and she gives me a lackluster 'hi' and ignores me the rest of the night. But once again, she makes conversation with other guys and she's friendly with everyone but me.

I don't know what's wrong with me...! Does anyone else feel the same way? Despite all my efforts to better myself, women still don't respond.

Or maybe ALL attractive girls aren't friendly until the man breaks the ice?
Should I just ignore their unfriendliness and go out of my way to make conversation with them?

Please advise.

My guess is that you're too desperate. Let me ask you something. Do you usually only talk to hot chicks with the intention of getting numbers, a hook up etc.? When you do this, you come off as desperate. And women can smell desperation from a mile away.

What you have to do is not care about the outcome. What you should be focused on is having a good time. Don't even worry about macking on girls. When you put yourself in this state, you have a high energy level and people (both guys and girls) find that attractive.

When you put yourself in this kind of state, you won't have to TRY to meet hot girls, it'll just happen. For example, you might talk to an ugly girl, who'll then introduce you to her hot friend. This is much better than just walking up to an attractive girl and trying to run game on her. If you're the life of the party, she's going to have her b*tch shield down.

When you first start interacting with a target, don't immediately focus on getting the digits etc. First just try to establish an interesting conversation. Once you've reeled her in, that's when you can start to escalate, isolate etc. Make sure you give LOTS of eye contact.

Getting girls is ultimately a BYPRODUCT. If you're a successful, friendly and interesting person, getting girls will be easy. But if you're a failure, socially awkward and boring, no amount of "game" will help you in the long run. Maybe you can fake it for a while, but sooner or later, she'll figure it out.

 

[YT827]

I don't act desperate around females. I talk to people and keep a friendly vibe going. It simply looks like girls don't want to know me or even sometimes move away from me. Let's say I'm playing on one of my co-ed sports teams, and our team is taking a break. A pretty girl will go out of her way to stand on the other side of the bench as if she's avoiding conversation with me. Or do you know when a person you don't want to talk to is walking in your direction and when you're like 10 feet away, you look away or pretend to look at your cell phone? I get this a lot from girls. Either I'm really intimidating or I'm uglier than I thought.

I can't imagine girls are this cold.

Am I looking for interest signs that will never exist? Do I have to work out more or change my wardrobe? I know that a man should lead and be the first to act, but why do so when a girl doesn't even acknowledge you exist?

 

[DonJuan11]

I don't act desperate around females. I talk to people and keep a friendly vibe going. It simply looks like girls don't want to know me or even sometimes move away from me.

Guys get so confused about this. They think the girl should want to get to know them because they exist and want sex.

Why would a girl want to know you? What does she get out of it? Are you rich? are you funny? are you handsome? Are you good at sex? YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT SHE WANTS.

Let's say I'm playing on one of my co-ed sports teams, and our team is taking a break. A pretty girl will go out of her way to stand on the other side of the bench as if she's avoiding conversation with me. Or do you know when a person you don't want to talk to is walking in your direction and when you're like 10 feet away, you look away or pretend to look at your cell phone? I get this a lot from girls. Either I'm really intimidating or I'm uglier than I thought.

You are intimidating, you are not giving girls enough COMFORT to talk to you. Your BODY LANGUAGE and WORDS DO NOT say I'm a cool, relaxed, fun guy to be around who knows half the city and can teach you things.

I can't imagine girls are this cold.

You are blaming girls for not wanting to talk to you or have sex with you because you are you? Nothing wrong with your ego.

I know that a man should lead and be the first to act, but why do so when a girl doesn't even acknowledge you exist?

Why should a girl acknowledge you exist? What does she get out of it? A whiny guy who talks about Star Trek or a guy who can give her the best sex ever? Girls are a NEGOTIATION, not a product where you tell them "I want to stick it somewhere warm and I think you are hot so give it to me."

Listen to what IGETIT told you.

 

[Lexington]

I don't act desperate around females. I talk to people and keep a friendly vibe going. It simply looks like girls don't want to know me or even sometimes move away from me. Let's say I'm playing on one of my co-ed sports teams, and our team is taking a break. A pretty girl will go out of her way to stand on the other side of the bench as if she's avoiding conversation with me. Or do you know when a person you don't want to talk to is walking in your direction and when you're like 10 feet away, you look away or pretend to look at your cell phone? I get this a lot from girls. Either I'm really intimidating or I'm uglier than I thought.

I can't imagine girls are this cold.

Am I looking for interest signs that will never exist? Do I have to work out more or change my wardrobe? I know that a man should lead and be the first to act, but why do so when a girl doesn't even acknowledge you exist?

You've got to be giving off some kind of bad vibe. Because girls will at least talk to ugly guys even if they're not attracted to them. There's got to be some reason why they're going out of their way to avoid you (if indeed they really are).

Hell, even when I was a complete chump, girls used to talk to me. They used to hang out with me and like me. They just would never want to bang me! I know more than one ugly guy who's friends with a lot of hot chicks. Sure he isn't getting anything from them, but they're friendly with him.

Is it possible that you're just being too sensitive? Maybe it's all in your head? Perhaps you're looking too hard for signs of interest. I personally don't bother trying to read chicks. All that body language stuff is mostly B.S.

Just assume that the girl likes you, try to mack on her and see what happens. I used to think that you should only pursue girls that look at you a certain way etc. But the truth is, some girls just won't throw you any signs and you have to find out for yourself.

 

[YT827]

You've got to be giving off some kind of bad vibe. Because girls will at least talk to ugly guys even if they're not attracted to them. There's got to be some reason why they're going out of their way to avoid you (if indeed they really are).


Is it possible that you're just being too sensitive? Maybe it's all in your head? Perhaps you're looking too hard for signs of interest. I personally don't bother trying to read chicks. All that body language stuff is mostly B.S.

I could be imagining stuff greater than what's actually happen. The point is...in social situations, females seem to be less friendly with me than other guys.


I'm trying to put together what's all been said so far.

Girls are only interested if you have something to offer them, right?

Guys only care if the girl is attractive...her personality usually isn't that important for a teenager or twenty-something year old.

It's also not good for a guy to brag about his success or achievements.

So the million dollar question is...

How does a guy show a girl he's worth getting to know?

I can't tell girls I have a successful career as my opener, or walk around shirtless. There's something I missing. Something I need to convey in the initial intereaction with a female that will get her interested in me.

I can take care of the rest.

 

[Lexington]

Are you sure you don't have a creepy look or something? I'm trying to figure out why girls would be less friendly with you. I know a guy who is one of the nicest and sweetest guys that I've ever met. He's a great dude. But seriously, his facial expression looks like that of a serial killer! Chicks that have gotten to know him think he's cool, but most of them admit that they were initially creeped out by him.

Don't try to start impressing girls right off the bat. Just try to start a conversation with them in the same way you might start one with a stranger on a bus who's reading an interesting book. For the step, you're just trying to get your foot in the door.

And NEVER brag. You can let her know about you in more subtle ways. They have an old saying, "if you have to tell everyone how good you are, you're probably not that good." In fact, the more mysterious you are, the more likely she'll be interested in you.

Just get her talking about herself mainly. And any time she asks you a question, give her a brief answer and refocus the conversation on her. Girls LOVE to talk about themselves. And if given the opportunity, they will talk for hours. Make her coax information out of you.

Most guys just volunteer a whole bunch of information...mostly bragging. That is a definite killer of attraction. They'll find some way to bring up that they drive a Mercedes or something or that they can 400 lbs at the gym.

Instead of blurting out, "yeah I drive a Mercedes," make her ask you. Maybe ask her what kind of car she drives. She'll reciprocate and ask you:

"So what kind of car do you drive?"
"A black one "
"Oh come, on what make?"
"It's European"
"Oh is it a Volkswagen?"
"Do I look like a VW driver?"
"Oh come on, tell me!"
"Okay, it's an SL63 AMG" (HAHA I wish!!!)
"What's that?"
"It's a Mercedes"

 

[Igetit!]

I could be imagining stuff greater than what's actually happen. The point is...in social situations, females seem to be less friendly with me than other guys.

I think this may be the case.

Your body,(that is,your bodylanguage) follows your mind UNCONSCIOUSLY.

If in your MIND you think girls don't like you,you'll UNKNOWINGLY telegraph that through your behavior,but it's unknown to YOU.


Everybody else around you will see WHAT'S IN YOUR MIND through your bodylanguage;how you walk,talk,and carry yourself.


It'll be like you have this fowl odor on you that you can't smell,but every one else can. You'll be next to a person,then they'll scramble to get away from you,then you'll sit there scratching your head wondering what the problem is.



So STOP THINKING that girls don't like you. At least wait until you ask them out or for their number and them turning you down first,then you can think that.


Wait for some type of evidence OTHER THAN YOUR THINKING before you come to the "she doesn't like me" conclusion.


And even then,who cares? There's 50 million women out there. So what if one doesn't like you. You don't like every girl out there in the world either.


Uhh....and?

I'm trying to put together what's all been said so far.

Girls are only interested if you have something to offer them, right?

Right,and you don't demonstrate what you have to offer by walking up to a girl and showing her your bank statement,TELLING HER your rich,and saying,"You see my car? It's a Lexus. Ha,ha,I told you I was rich. You believe me now?".


You demonstrate your attractive qualities THROUGH YOUR BEHAVIOR.



It's basically what I already said in my first post:be open,talkative,have a good energy/vibe. This is essential.



If she doesn't feel confortable around you when it's just YOU,she won't stick around long enough to see your fancy car,3 story house,or big bank account.

Guys only care if the girl is attractive...her personality usually isn't that important for a teenager or twenty-something year old.

Well basically yeah. Most guys will have to be burned a couple of times to learn to look deeper than just a girl's looks.

It's also not good for a guy to brag about his success or achievements.

True. It's better to have a friend or buddy speak of your accomplishments to a girl than for you to do it yourself.

Either that,or just let her discover them on her own as she gets to know you.

So the million dollar question is...

How does a guy show a girl he's worth getting to know?

It's already been pointed out.

But the VERY FIRST THING you need to do is....


STOP THINKING THAT GIRLS DON'T LIKE YOU.


STOP walking around thinking that.


That's #1. Until that's done,NOTHING ELSE YOU DO will matter. Even if you do manage to get a chick,it'll only be a matter of time before before the negative vibe you give off infects her,then she'll want to get away from you to get away from the way SHE FEELS when she's with you.


That's first.

There's something I missing. Something I need to convey in the initial intereaction with a female that will get her interested in me.

Yeah,the thing you're missing is called CONFIDENCE.


You have to walk up to a girl ALREADY ASSUMING she likes you. You can't walk up to her all nervous and scared,shaking and trembling,waiting for HER to give you the go ahead to feel comfortable.


You have to approach her ALREADY BEING COMFORTABLE.


First things first....STOP thinking girls don't like you.

 

[YT827]

Are you sure you don't have a creepy look or something? I'm trying to figure out why girls would be less friendly with you. I know a guy who is one of the nicest and sweetest guys that I've ever met. He's a great dude. But seriously, his facial expression looks like that of a serial killer! Chicks that have gotten to know him think he's cool, but most of them admit that they were initially creeped out by him.

I think that I'm just waiting for them to show me interest instead of just being friendly towards them first. Maybe it's just coincidence that a female distance herself from me and it had nothing to do with me at all.

I will try to ignore body language and just have light, fun conversation with females. I will use their response as an indicator of interest, and not if she made eye contact with me across the room.

 

[YT827]

First things first....STOP thinking girls don't like you.

You can't be any clearer. Thanks!