The awkward stage

[speakeasy]

I did some thinking today about that awkward feeling that is natural to have when go on a first date with a girl. The girl I've been seeing the last year, it took about 3 or 4 dates until we were passed the awkward stage. That stage where you're like the two dogs sizing each other up and sniffing one another. Then usually after you've had some sort of physical intimacy, the awkwardness starts to dissipate and you can start to share comfortable silences and not start sentences with "So...." (and btw, that's a tell-tale sign you're still in the awkward stage, when you or the girl keeping using "So," as a prefix to everything)

Every so often you can run across a girl and never experience that awkwardness, everything just flows from the start and you feel like two friends that have known each other a long time. And then with some girls, it's very difficult to get past it. The quicker you can get past it of course, the quicker you get laid and the less work you have to put it.

The DJ has mastered the art of either avoiding the awkward stage or speeding through it. He builds trust, intrigue, rapport and interest from the outset. I think it's possible to get to a level of game in that you never, at least almost never meet a girl and have any sense of awkwardness in the chemistry. You

I don't even know if there's a point to this post, it's just one of those late night stream of consciousness things.

 

[Desdinova]

I find it's more difficult with women who are incredibly shy. They just keep things to themselves most of the time, and they occasionally show that they do indeed have a fun side, but it's usually quite brief. With all the other women who are NOT shy, I've never had a problem with them.

Moved to DJD.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

One thing I've discovered is that awkwardness can be controlled by you and things are only as awkward as you make them.

This is one of those things that can really be controlled by your frame and a girl will immediately live in your reality where awkwardness doesn't exist.

 

[speakeasy]

One thing I've discovered is that awkwardness can be controlled by you and things are only as awkward as you make them.

This is one of those things that can really be controlled by your frame and a girl will immediately live in your reality where awkwardness doesn't exist.

I agree. It's all about your frame. Two open, uninhibited people are going to have a good time. But if the girl is insecure or inhibited, the DJ has to make up for it and bring her out of it. That's where the magic comes in. I'm still working on that and have some ways to go.

 

[ketostix]

I think a lot of that magic of no initial awkwardness is to a large part simply attraction and compatability. If she is attracted to you, even if she tries to hide it, you will pick up on it even if subconciously. I know I do and it makes me feel more comfortable, confident and less akwardness.

I don't believe that attraction is entirely within one's control. There are limits that you can reach and maybe you are hiting your wall.

I don't think initial awkwardness is always a bad thing, especially when it's coming from her. It can be a sign of sexual tension and her anxiety because you appear a challenge. I definitely agree with you that after there's been physical intimacy I feel less awarkwardness. But I've found that doesn't necessarily cause the relationship or attraction to advance.