The Asexual Concept

[Single_Sucks]

This is a method which I thought of a while back. The idea is to act totally asexually (without sexual desire) UNTIL SHE MAKES A MOVE. ok, so it sounds strange but consider these benefits.

1. Ability to approach women and talk to them for the sake of being social.

2. Ability to make witty, interesting, C&F conversation, with women because the pressure is removed.

3. Ability to have large social network with many women. Further increasing chances of meeting a chick who will find herself attracted to you.

4. When you are not around, women will talk about you in a good way, because you never say/do dumb sh1t that always results from being infatuated with a woman. They will get the validation from their friends that they may like you.

5. Ability to arrange social meetings with women, without the pressure of it being classified as a date, which is known to freak women out sometimes.

6. Ability to never seem desperate/come on too strong/needy/wuss.

7. Ability to let her do all the chasing, increasing her attarction for you

8. Ability to pass all Sh1t tests automatically

9. Ability to stand out form all the other guys who are usually going crazy about her and worshipping her

10. Ability to NEXT her automatically, if things go t1ts up at any stage


That's quite alot of benefits I think. The escalation is lacking, but then I have seen women do the escalating many, many, many times. Modern girls seem to have no problem pouncing on a guy they like.

 

[Lifeforce]

Well the "asexual" concept as you describe is pretty much the way I am acting. It works good in some areas and bad in others.

The perks as you mention is that you do not need to bother with all the crap such as **** tests, games or chasing any women. It works great in groups because you can act who you are and women can see you for who you really are.

You can also notice when a woman is interested in you and since you're not emotionally attached yet you can increase her attraction easily by using kino or some innuendo. It's also alot more freedom this way because you know where she stands, she IS interested and it's hard to fail then.

The not so good parts with being "asexual" (actually it's not asexual rather being picky and assessing the women more) is that you will be worse at approaching, especially in bars and such. You cannot walk up to a girl you do not know and start to talk and think she will not think you're trying to pick her up. Women WILL think you're trying to pick them up, it's very hard to hide those intentions. At bars it doesnt work good at all imo where you need to be more aggressive to compete with the other men and a girl cannot see all your qualities because she's bombarded with requests from men.

Being "asexual" is great if you do not want to chase women but it doesn't work well when you're chasing. The worst problem is if you're becoming asexual because you're afraid to show sexual interest. That is very dangerous. To be successful with being "asexual" is that you need good qualities which can attract women. (compare a fatty with a hot babe for example and you see what I mean). If you have a good body, good personality and good social skills then being asexual is a great way to get women. You do however need to put down some effort in gaining traits which attract women.

 

[Single_Sucks]

You do however need to put down some effort in gaining traits which attract women.

I do indeed have these traits, I am just a bit ditzy in the head around women, hence a need to solidify within an easy-to-remember ruleset. Hence, the Asexual Concept.

 

[daring wraith]

Well the "asexual" concept as you describe is pretty much the way I am acting. It works good in some areas and bad in others.

The perks as you mention is that you do not need to bother with all the crap such as **** tests, games or chasing any women. It works great in groups because you can act who you are and women can see you for who you really are.

You can also notice when a woman is interested in you and since you're not emotionally attached yet you can increase her attraction easily by using kino or some innuendo. It's also alot more freedom this way because you know where she stands, she IS interested and it's hard to fail then.

The not so good parts with being "asexual" (actually it's not asexual rather being picky and assessing the women more) is that you will be worse at approaching, especially in bars and such. You cannot walk up to a girl you do not know and start to talk and think she will not think you're trying to pick her up. Women WILL think you're trying to pick them up, it's very hard to hide those intentions. At bars it doesnt work good at all imo where you need to be more aggressive to compete with the other men and a girl cannot see all your qualities because she's bombarded with requests from men.

Being "asexual" is great if you do not want to chase women but it doesn't work well when you're chasing. The worst problem is if you're becoming asexual because you're afraid to show sexual interest. That is very dangerous. To be successful with being "asexual" is that you need good qualities which can attract women. (compare a fatty with a hot babe for example and you see what I mean). If you have a good body, good personality and good social skills then being asexual is a great way to get women. You do however need to put down some effort in gaining traits which attract women.

I completely agree with this, if women are emotional creatures one needs to show emotion in order to relate to her, this is the basic building block of any successful interaction, i.e. showing her you are normal, can potentially provide emotional security, etc. In short, showing her you have personality and character.

 

[oakraiderz2]

OR you could be a man, grab your nuts and make a move. Being asexual will 1) land you in the friend zone or 2) make her thing youre a homo/p*ssy man and will tell her friends about how youre afraid to make a move. So you expect the girl to initiate the first kiss? If you show a lack of desire toward her, why would she think your interested like that and make a move?

 

[Single_Sucks]

the only interest level that matters is the woman's, if she finds that she is attracted to you then it will be her imperative to kiss you.

I must say kissing would be a bit bold as a first move, in actual fact the 'move' is much more likely to be her extreme flirting, sitting on your lap, telling her friends who then tell you, asking you if you are single, asking you out on a date, etcetera

Those are the more common (yet still BLATANT) moves that women make on guys they like.

Count also the fact that your modern girl gets alot braver when there is alcohol involved!

 

[oakraiderz2]

the only interest level that matters is the woman's, if she finds that she is attracted to you then it will be her imperative to kiss you.

I must say kissing would be a bit bold as a first move, in actual fact the 'move' is much more likely to be her extreme flirting, sitting on your lap, telling her friends who then tell you, asking you if you are single, asking you out on a date, etcetera

Those are the more common (yet still BLATANT) moves that women make on guys they like.

Count also the fact that your modern girl gets alot braver when there is alcohol involved!

You probably should have clerified that then. The thought of her making a move has its own connotations other than flirting. Why does it have to be extreme flirting opposed to 'normal' flirting of giving you signs? Why encourage such a behavior instead of promoting have a set of balls? Develop a real understanding of women and you wont need lame concepts like this.

 

[ready123]

all these KJ tactics because guys are afraid to approach and need to make themselves feel better

pshhhh

 

[Warrior74]

This is a method which I thought of a while back. The idea is to act totally asexually (without sexual desire) UNTIL SHE MAKES A MOVE. ok, so it sounds strange but consider these benefits.

Lets look at your points.

1. Ability to approach women and talk to them for the sake of being social.

If you are asexual why are you approaching her? You are automatically lying to yourself. Of course you want to **** her...otherwise why even step over. She knows it and you know it....that's why you look for IOI's, or eye contact then you know she's choosing.

2. Ability to make witty, interesting, C&F conversation, with women because the pressure is removed.
.

You should still be able to do this regardless of how you feel sexually. You don't have to repress your sexuality to have fun.

3. Ability to have large social network with many women. Further increasing chances of meeting a chick who will find herself attracted to you.

4. When you are not around, women will talk about you in a good way, because you never say/do dumb sh1t that always results from being infatuated with a woman. They will get the validation from their friends that they may like you
.

I have a friend who has a huge social network with many women. But he's asexual like you said and he's damn near 40 and always in the friendzone. Girls have nothing bad to say about him...but nothing good. He has no spark, no mojo, no personality, no sexuality. nothing...they cannot feel him. He now has a rep for being a boring square.

Women are human beings as well. They know guys say dumb **** when they like girls...if they like you...they forgive, if they don't like you..who gives a ****. I'd rather have a rep for being fun and outgoing and sexual than square. Also, this shows too much concern for what women think.

5. Ability to arrange social meetings with women, without the pressure of it being classified as a date, which is known to freak women out sometimes.
.

Creeping up on a date is weird. What are you trying to do? Trick her on a date? If she likes you she's not gonna have a problem hanging out with you. If she's a friend and your doing lunch and dinner....she's not gonna have a problem hanging out. Either way...its really no problem. THey know how to say no.

6. Ability to never seem desperate/come on too strong/needy/wuss.

You should be able to do this without supressing your sexuality.

7. Ability to let her do all the chasing, increasing her attarction for you
.

LOL. Good luck. I find that women who do ALL the chasing have something wrong upstairs or have an agenda. That is not the way normal people play the game.

8. Ability to pass all Sh1t tests automatically.

9. Ability to stand out form all the other guys who are usually going crazy about her and worshipping her.

You should be able to do this without supressing your sexuality. It's call self control, discipline, strong inner game, prizability.

10. Ability to NEXT her automatically, if things go t1ts up at any stage .

Again....how is that related to being asexual. Inner game will see you thru.

That's quite alot of benefits I think. The escalation is lacking, but then I have seen women do the escalating many, many, many times. Modern girls seem to have no problem pouncing on a guy they like.

Not all girls escalate. The girl I just slept with about an hour ago approached me on the bus. Asked me what book I was reading. I saw her choosing and started a conversation and got her number. Even now...I've slept with her twice...she's not agressive. If I don't make a move nothing happens. She won't even instigate a kiss. But once she gets going...boy she gets going.

I think you are possibly afraid. Afraid of being the AFC symp you used to be. But you haven't developed into the DJ you want to be. YOu are looking for a set of rules to help you out. You know what you need to do but you aren't doing it yet. Get out there and play the game man. The more you play, the more you fail, the more you learn. If you are really so concerned about your rep...go after girls outside your social circle for now until you get your confidence up.

Good luck man, and ease up on this sort of theorizing KJing...or even better...go out there and put your ideas to the test, then come back and tell us of your failures or successes and how your ideas hold up. I think post ideas only adds to the general confusion and high noise to signal ratio on this site.

 

[Lexington]

I don't think it's a good idea. In fact a lot of AFCs probably use this approach. I don't have a problem making platonic friends with girls. But I'm not very successful at getting them romantically interested.

As a guy you have to take the lead. Most girls aren't going to make a move. They might give off signals that they would be receptive to a move, but you're the one that has to make it happen. Many times, I've come away empty handed because I didn't make a move out of fear. I was afraid I might rejected and humiliated.

Now I realize, that's just a risk you have to take. If she rejects you, oh well. But it's highly unlikely that a girl will see you in a romantic/sexual light if you don't set the mood and get after her. If you act asexual, the girl will also act asexual.

 

[mcs]

without playfulness, c+f, charisma and other techniques - being asexual is totally useless. just use this sh1t well balanced and get 'em sooooo into you.

 

[Lifeforce]

As I see it the difference between an AFC and a guy who doesn't approach every woman he sees is the simple thing of masculinity.

I remember when I was an AFC (even WBAFC) and tried to make friends with women. I talked to them, tried to find out everything about them, tried to make them feel happy and all that. Of course it didn't end well, I got friend zoned and everything.

Then I started to approach like a ****ing madman, I had days where I approached over 40 women. My numbers of approaches have probably rivaled some of the most active DJs on this site. Got alot of numbers which often didn't lead to much because its so much easier to flake over the phone. So I had alot of flakers and women who didn't pick up the phone among the good numbers. So I thought to myself it got to be easier than this.

I realized that women which I met and could have several conversations with before I asked them out yielded a much better success %age. Women which I didn't intentionally approach. So why did this work so much better? One of the things was that she got to know me for who I was before I asked her out. I didn't care if she wasn't interested or not, or how I could get her interested, instead I took her into my world and she could evaluate me and if she decided to be with me, then great. Not knowing I had unconsciously weeded out alot of women who had talked to me so the one i ended up getting the number from was already filtered. I found that the later was alot more time effective.

Players, don juans and everyone is very quick to judge people who doesn't approach. They are labeled AFCs, KJs by some but that's just because people do not understand how we are thinking. You see, for you guys you're busy BUILDING INTEREST in women you meet. I'm interested in WEEDING OUT women who are NOT interested. You see the difference? I have no motivation to try to get a random ***** interested in me, I try to find characteristics in the women I talk to to see if they fit me.

For example, if I see a girl who's pretty walking down the street you might think. "Hey, she's damn fine, wonder what I'd have to do to get a girl like that.". My thoughts would be (serious) "She looks good, so does 1000 other girls in this city, does she have other qualities to make her worth my time?". Yes I do think like that. And when I do meet a woman who got other qualities which interest me then she gets my respect.

I do approach in bars and stuff like that to get laid once in a while but that's not the general approach I have to women. I've improved my life alot, changed my personality to the better (social anxiety, low confidence, depression, ADHD, slight agoraphobia) to getting rid of most of it, bit of the social anxiety left but hardly noticable, changed my body from being skinny 135 lbs guy to being 210 lbs now, worked my social skills in approach after approach. Set goals high and strive for a good life. Why would I try to impress a random chick to like me? Isn't that devaluing yourself?

What I've done is no impressive feat, everyone has probably done or is undergoing a change right now. Think about that change and think of a reason why you would try to build interest in a chick if she's not interested.

Men are fast to up the value of a beautiful woman but when they change themselves to the better they realize ugly women is beneath them in terms of what they are attracted to. A beautiful woman with no goals, no future is as ugly as the fattest girl you can find, she's just obese on the inside. Still men try to put up with it just because she's status, pretty and all that. If you have changed yourself you shouldn't put up with women who got an obese personality. This is why it's so easy for me to NEXT a *****, I don't look at her exterior, I look at her and she's not impressing me even though she thinks so highly of herself.

 

[Warrior74]

Good post lifeforce. Very mature point of view. I wait to see if a woman is choosing me, if she is...I then have to qualify her to see if I want her. I already know that she wants me. Then I listen and watch and see if she will be a FB, a LTR, a ONS or nothing at all. A man has to judge and use judgement on what woman he allows into his world. If she is going to disrupt your world, you have to let her go. She jumps on your ship, you don't jump on hers...you are the captain not her. And she can be fired from the crew at anytime.

 

[slaog]

I voted that it's an improvement on AFCs. It raises so good points and is a tactic that can be used but overall it's still just a tactic if you're not being truthful.


The whole point of it is to show the woman you're not looking for anything off them or you don't need anything off them. This is the normal way of not putting them under pressure and gives them the opertunity to chase you.

You can still be sexual and show them you don't need sex and being asexual might even turn women off you because thats not being masculine.

When pretending that you are asexual you are not being truthful about who you really are.

 

[orly]

I've tried the "asexual" method. I am a virgin at age 27. I'm sure you can make your conclusions on its effectiveness. Of course, your mileage may vary.

 

[Lifeforce]

I've tried the "asexual" method. I am a virgin at age 27. I'm sure you can make your conclusions on its effectiveness. Of course, your mileage may vary.

In my opinion a guy must first learn to be somewhat successful with women before he can start to stop approaching and still be successful. Things like, flirting, teasing, KINO, ****y/funny, sexual innuendo, negs and all that is still something which I use regularly in my convo with a girl. It's ingrained into my personality and the convos with women generally isn't to get them to the sack or building interest.

I bet most men who approach alot will someday come to the point where they get tired of chasing women and just set out to find a decent girl. Then the "asexual", or "masculine" approach which is a more ample name, will come naturally. So the point is that you need to get out there, do the approaches, learn how to talk, how to be funny and all that and then you can come back to just leaning back and scanning women.

Then of course there need to be a reason for the women to be interested in the first place. If you are a virgin at 27 then there is probably a reason for it. Maybe you got a personality you need to work on, your body is fat/skinny or you have no goals in life (i.e loser). In my case it was all three. Improve yourself and you'll find women will show alot more interest. Especially if you go to the gym.


Warrior74: Thank you, the way you describe it is a little shorter and clearer than my post.

 

[orly]

Then of course there need to be a reason for the women to be interested in the first place. If you are a virgin at 27 then there is probably a reason for it. Maybe you got a personality you need to work on, your body is fat/skinny or you have no goals in life (i.e loser). In my case it was all three. Improve yourself and you'll find women will show alot more interest. Especially if you go to the gym.

My body is average - I'm not really fat nor skinny. Don't really have too much in the way of visibly defined muscles, but I don't have a gut either. I'm currently working out pretty hardcore to improve that.

Everything in my life is in good order save for the utter lack of women.

I don't think my personality is bad or wrong. At the same time I can see it as not being very exciting to women. Then again, I see guys with far worse personalities than mine getting girls, so I'm really not sure wtf the problem is.

I don't like to compare myself to others, but really, a girl could do a lot, lot worse than me.

 

[Single_Sucks]

I think you are possibly afraid. Afraid of being the AFC symp you used to be. But you haven't developed into the DJ you want to be. YOu are looking for a set of rules to help you out

I can and do escalate, in the right time and place. Its just that I AM looking for a set of RULES to use by default, while living my daily existance. In life we meet so many new girls every week it seems. I want a easy method to apply as default as there isn't usually enough time to think everything through.

I voted that it's an improvement on AFCs. It raises so good points and is a tactic that can be used but overall it's still just a tactic if you're not being truthful. The whole point of it is to show the woman you're not looking for anything off them or you don't need anything off them. This is the normal way of not putting them under pressure and gives them the opertunity to chase you.

Finally someone understands what I'm looking at here.

I've tried the "asexual" method. I am a virgin at age 27. I'm sure you can make your conclusions on its effectiveness. Of course, your mileage may vary.

I'm 24, have had sex almost 100 times and these days I am ****ing a really hot chick.

 

[MascaraSnake]

I usually use this (and it does work)

...but only if I'm sure I'll be seeing the girl every day at the same time (for example, if we're taking a class together or we're in a play together). In that situation, I have months and months to flirt and make my move.

Now, my feelings: if you're picking up women, you might want to make your intentions clearer since you could never see her again.

 

[brewbaron]

I used to do this too. unfortunately it rarely works. when you show interest in someone it increases your chances of their being attracted to you. there was a study done on this recently .. check it out >>

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7603530.stm