The Art Of Rejection 101

[COD]

How you handle rejection screams volumes about your self esteem. Rejection acceptance originates from inner game.

Scenario-cute new girl in bar, is friendly,polite smiles and says hello back when U introduce yourself. She may even accept a drink or engage in conversation. You ask for her number or suggest going on a date sometime and she flat out says thanx but not really interested.

what are some typical reactions;

1) NICE GUY-okay well thanks anyways, it was nice to have met you....see ya

2) LOSER- on a quest to convince her;why not, I got a great job, work out, all my teeth/hair, no kids, tall, smart, funny, you just need to get to know me, give me a chance to sweep you off your feet. Come on baby........pwease go out with me.

3) ANGER MAN-these types need validation, when they don't get it they resort to hostility or anger. Don't want to F me, well then F you!!. Probably a b itch any how. Conversation often turns to "who gives a ratt's behind, your loss".

4) WUSS-these types don't even bother to try at all and self depricate before any ateempt. They convince themselves to remain in the safety of their comfort zone and it's perfectly acceptable. If they do make an attempt, it's totally peer pressure induced, hesitation, awkward at best and just knew it would be a waste of time.

5) SOCIAL ARTIST-this person is in control of their thoughts, they exude confidence and are confortable with rejection. To them it's no big deal, they consider each attempt an opportunity to perfect their approach. They smoothly move on to another set and never consider it was something they said or did incorrectly.

The reality is there is very little you can do to create attraction. If a woman states you are just not her type, you could be the nicest guy in the world and no amount of convincing will persuade her. The good news is that you do have control over how you respond to a rejection. Successful people make mistakes just like anyone else, the difference lies within how they perceive that rejection. Learn from past mistakes and have a willingness to improve, change, alter the process in order to get one step closer to their goal. If you are in control of your thoughts, life control is also right around the corner. It's not a numbers game but more of a perfecting game.

REALITY CHECK-you cant just say "I CAN DO THIS, SHE WILL LIKE ME" over and over again. That verbal affirmation motivation is virtually useless without self assement. You must become aware of the process that may be preventing you from success.

Everyone knows that placing your hand on a hot stove causes injury. We react out of instant pain, the process is automatic. Lets say you have lost your pain threshold and you place your hand on a hot stove. Because there is no pain, removing your hand instantly would not be automatic.

STICKY POINT-you have to develop a new process that kicks in the moment of impact. This new behavior (over time) will become second nature and eventually automatic. Change is essential to survival as well as success.

 

[Kal0051]

I find getting rejected on approaches are a lot easier to take than if you've invested in the girl at all. I hate it when the girl gives you her number, you meet up a few times and she's not interested (for whatever reason). It's especially worse when she tries to subtly tell you she's not interested instead of being straight with you (I find it's very rare that I girl will tell me she's not interested).

 

[MisterMcGee]

i like

 

[COD]

well it may be true that very few women don't say the words NOT INTERESTED.......but they don't give you any indicators of interest. Basically they aint buying what you are selling. Some guys get all wrapped up in approaching and focus on the fear of rejection which clouds thier confidence and forget to focus on the possibility of a future success.

some claim FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) is all B.S. but in reality some people get immobilized by their fear. To them its very real and it does in fact control thier outcome. My point was/is you must control your thoughts before they control you and that starts at inner game.

Some claim perfect practice is the only way to proceed........reality check who on the planet has ever done things the right way from the begining, especially when venturing outside your comnfort zone. I know stuff dating experts and pickup gurus say sound incredible but in reality they often never pan out or are difficult to master. I am a firm believer in suspending disbelief but you gotta know your own limitations first BEFORE attempting to break beyond them.

Facts are YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.........you can influence their decision but ultimately not every single person is gonna find you charming...........and thats OKay. How you perceive that rejection will reveal the content of your character.

 

[BudBundi]

Fact is, you shouldn't feel the need to make them like you.

 

[Five To One]

1) NICE GUY-okay well thanks anyways, it was nice to have met you....see ya

Are you saying that this is the wrong way to do it?

"alright it was nice to meet you" and walking away has always been the right thing to do and yet I wouldnt consider it a "nice guy move"


You are defined as a nice guy depending on the conversation you just had with the girl, not how you graciously bow out of the engagment.

 

[COD]

no one is perfect the very first time out the bat, yes U can do everything right and still not get the girl.......in a case such as this......U could induce another attempt to exclude the "TOKEN NO" auto response.

Nice guy says thankyou, nice meeting you, and slinks away "darn, she does not like me".

Social artist doesnt really say it was nice to meet you, he just moves on without hesitation and ventures forward with the NEXT mentality.

ANGER MAN-takes it personal or makes it personal..........he does not move to another set quickly.

I am saying how certain types handle rejection, how one responds to a rejection reveals his true character. U cannot control wether a person is going to reject you, U can most definetly control your thought process when U experience a rejection. In control of your thoughts=control over your life.

I seen it over and over in a bar when a man gets turned down........they fall into various types. I overheard words like "whats her fricken problem", she is a total b itch, Oh okay thne maybe we can be friends, its a dead set move on........players are quick to next someone or move on quickly........when sometimes its just a token no response.'


U are in the mall, guys runs up to you and tries to sell U something.......Yr auto-response would be to say NO THANKS and distance yourself. Even if what he is selling is cool, cheap and what U need. Its all about presentation..........just cause U said no does not mean he aint a good sales rep.........IF he tried a lil harder with a different aproach, I might actually say ok U got 30 seconds.

Some of the biggest blockbusters were turned down from major studios the first time round..........was the presentration all wrong............NO........it was that token NO auto-response. Second attempt.......bingo HIT MOVIE. We are so conditioned to say NO without even hearing the proposal. AGAIN HOW U HANDLE THE REJECTION determines your success rate.

2/3 LAW.........1 will say yes, 1 will be on the fence, and 1 will say no. Focus on the "on the fence types". Some people get paralyzed with fear the moment they see/hear REJECTION.

Wuss guy doesnt even try anymore.

It aint rocket science.............its recovering from a minor setback, thats it, dont complicate this stuff.

 

[COD]

to PER-FECT your skills one might try a differnt line, timing, opening, avatar, get results quicker, convey better. A social artist always wants to get closer than 2/3. So he eliminates fluff, hones lines, only essential words, he emphasises certain words. Its easier to move on with a new set then to make a second attempt. By slowing down, and trying one more time.......this time making some minor adjustments.........U could win over another set that you would normally just omit.

PER-FECTING requires what you say after she responds. If girl A said NO and PUA said Oh I dont think U understood my generous offer, and the girl now responds with OH REALLY..........its game on brother. U cant be perfect the first time and everytime cause NO TWO WOMEN are exactly alike. So U make minor adjustments or PERFECT your game to suit individual needs.