flows101
Don Juan
Saw a post up in discussion about not knowing what to say so thought id post this up since i found it very useful back in the day it was originally written by Tyler from RSD.
The "Art Of Gibberish" -- AKA The Million Dollar Mouthpiece
Today I want to talk about what most people believe to be hands down the *biggest* hurdle in the entire "success with women" game...
That's the question of "What do I say to the girls I approach??"
-- AKA
"What do I say when I run out of material??"
-- AKA
"How do you keep the conversation going when it stales out??"
This is a massive challenge for the vast majority of guys, and chances are it's been a challenge for YOU at some point or other -- if not on a regular basis.
The issue of "what to say" is a very funny thing, because in the press and media they're consistently fixated by it. The first question I'm asked by most people when they find out about Real Social Dynamics is "What types of things do you teach people to say??"
Of course, this is a classic reflection of the general public's "Magic Pill" consumer-based mindset.
They REALLY think it's all about the lines and usually can't "get over it" no matter how much evidence I pummel them with to the contrary.
Like, yeah.... Yeah..... YEAH that's RIGHT, you can just take a guy with NO SUCCESS and give him a SET OF LINES and he's gonna be rockin' "hoes in different area codes" and bringin' a revolution of pimpin' WORLD WIDE.
Uhhhh... Urban legend?? Uhhhh.... uhhhhhhhhh.......
*Sigh*
I've often thought that on some level it's more appeasing to the ego to learn a set of lines because it's more tangible and easy to grasp. You can look at what you've learned and say to yourself "I have this new way of doing things that makes me feel better than the naturals... I am now *enhanced*..."
It's just a lot more quantifiable in this "More, more, more..." world than, say, a surging feeling of confidence in your body that you can't entirely explain.
Regardless, you might have noticed RSD is pretty notorious for running in-field bootcamps where we'll get you doing exercises like opening with "I like salad" or "Who are you??" or just walking up to the girl and staring until she starts laughing uncontrollably.
We do this with you sometimes specifically as an *exercise* to hammer home the point that IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.
(At least as long as you're genuinely "offering value"... and not being validation-seeking, creepy, or insecure).
As long as you've got the fundamental core principles that we work you through down pat, the actual words themselves are pretty incidental.
Still, oftentimes you have people from outside the community read about this and say "These guys are teaching people to say I LIKE SALAD?? But... But... That's like the worst LINE I've ever heard... I knew this stuff was bull****... Let me get back to my World Of Warcraft game..."
Other times you also have guys from *inside* the community who are still coming from the "entertainer-man" frame, and try it expecting it be similar to their usual "talk about topics that entertain women" type openers or whatever.
Obviously these are both instances of gross misunderstandings of what this stuff is all about. They're missing the sets of "core beliefs" that allow you to sort of "transcend" the need to have the perfect line.
Let's look at a few of the types of beliefs that I'm talking about......
1) AS A GIRL BECOMES ATTRACTED SHE MOSTLY NOTICES AND REMEMBERS WHAT SHE "FEELS"... AND HAS VERY LITTLE ATTENTION OR RETENTION OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
This obviously varies from girl to girl. I've had girls shock me by remembering all sorts of tiny details of our conversations at times.
Usually there's like these one or two things that she grabs onto for some reason or other. It just depends on the girl.
The majority of the time, however, I've noticed the girls remember very little about our overall conversation.
What they remember is mostly that they had fun, that I was a cool guy, and that's about it...
I've found this to lead to all sorts of hilarious anomolies...... like that you can do a "palm reading" on a girl or even pose as a FULL PSYCHIC, and yet she has no recollection of this the on the second meet.
I mean, even if a girl believes in telepathy you'd think it's pretty insane she thinks she's on an ACTUAL DATE with a REAL LIFE PSYCHIC WIZARD, no??
Like, "Hey Julie, I'm going out for dinner and a movie with this psychic dude named Owen... I think he's a Warlock... Don't wait up..."
The thing is, back in the day when I used to try literally everything I could find on the internet (2002/03 -- you dudes who came into this in 2007 have absolutely no idea how lucky you are) I don't think I ever had a girl I dated actually remember it.
All they ever remembered was that our conversation was "super fun".
Now you guys might be thinking "Does this mean that I should be posing as a psychic??"
Uhhhhhh, NO.
What I'm getting at here is that there is VERY LITTLE LIMITATION as to what you can talk about with a girl.
She's feeling whatever emotional state YOU are in, and being drawn into that.
Your state is contagious. Remember this.
STATE - IS - CONTAGIOUS.
If you're feeling a surge of confidence and positivity (aka -- the NIMBUS of glory) in your body, that feeling is going to be transfered into HER body and she's going to love you to death.
As she becomes more and more attracted, you can talk pure nonsensical gibberish at her and she's going to be loving it more and more.
Obviously if you try this when you're feeling "out of state" then she's just going to ask you if you're drunk or on drugs.
If you're feeling AWESOME, however, and you draw people into your reality...... all it's going to do is get her investing in trying to play along with the silly conversation you're having, and build more attraction.
(Note: The "This is going to get misinterpreted by newbies and turn them into retards" red-alert is going off in my head right now... If you play with the ideas in this article, feel free to "go over the line" and see where the limit is, but also make sure to use common sense and calibrate once you've got it figured out).
Anyway, one of the major reasons I rarely run out of stuff to say is that I'm not limited by it having to make all that much sense. I "fractionate" between intelligent logical conversation and total self-amusing nonsense.
I can pretty much talk indefinitely. There is no pre-set ending to the conversation because it's not "linear" or "goal-directed" and there's no purpose for it other than to have fun.
This is very liberating and frees me up to really FEEL the emotions in my body and allow them to FLOW from myself to the girl.
2) SEXUAL COMMUNICATION LIKE "STATE" AND "DOMINANCE" HAVE EXISTED FAR LONGER THAN WORDS
A huge, huge epiphany for me has been that communicating state and dominance is far more potent in terms of attracting women than the words I use.
I used to think that meeting women was similar to a "sales presentation" where I wanted to very subtley allow her to see all of the "features an benefits" of going out with me.
No more.
These days when I talk to a girl my only assumption is that she's having fun with me, and that during this time she's unconsciously observing cues in my behaviour that have existed in human beings for thousands of years before I was ever born.
Somewhat funny sounding, I know. But I really believe it.
In my own humble opinion and experience, girls are usually feeling from you the following things...:
-Are you "self-monitoring" or are you "outside your head"??
-Are the words seeking her reaction or approval, or are they just "flowing out of you" without the slightest effort??
-Do you have to "go back into your head" when you think of what to say, or do you just flow because you speak authentically??
-Do you get your sense of reality from other people, or do you get it from your own independent interpretation??
-Do you draw your state from the ever-changing environment, or do you draw your state from within yourself?? (Huge, massive, and possibly the most important part of all this...... When you get this down you are unstoppable).
In all my experience, all this stuff is going to get women extremely attracted to you extremely quickly.
In fact, the whole "gibberish" thing is sooooo good because 1) it keeps YOU amused with YOURSELF which keeps you in state, and 2) it keeps the conversation going indefinitely while you're playfully being dominant and drawing boundaries on her and moving her around.
She's having so much fun talking to you while getting more and more attracted simultaneously.
The best part: This becomes integrated into your core personality, and it's not a character that you have to turn "on" or "off".
3) WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY HAS VALUE PURELY BECAUSE IT COMES FROM *YOU*... AND WHAT YOU SAY IS INTERESTING NOT BECAUSE OF THE SPECIFIC "CONTENT", BUT BECAUSE THE GIRL IS INTERESTED IN WHAT IS INTERESTING TO *YOU*
Alright this last one has to do with the "filter" in your mind that either "allows" or "blocks" you from saying what's on your mind.
A great way of describing this is "stifled" or "unstifled".
Once you reach a level where you can speak your mind easily, the conversation flows out "naturally" and "in the moment" -- which makes it very "on point".
This gives you a lot of room to convey your natural personality without having to be so over-the-top. You can even be a bit "humble" or "shy" if you want, and girls will be into it because you're so natural and at-ease with yourself.
Think of it this way....... If you're talking to a room full of 11 year olds, you probably won't "run out of things to say".
The "Art Of Gibberish" -- AKA The Million Dollar Mouthpiece
Today I want to talk about what most people believe to be hands down the *biggest* hurdle in the entire "success with women" game...
That's the question of "What do I say to the girls I approach??"
-- AKA
"What do I say when I run out of material??"
-- AKA
"How do you keep the conversation going when it stales out??"
This is a massive challenge for the vast majority of guys, and chances are it's been a challenge for YOU at some point or other -- if not on a regular basis.
The issue of "what to say" is a very funny thing, because in the press and media they're consistently fixated by it. The first question I'm asked by most people when they find out about Real Social Dynamics is "What types of things do you teach people to say??"
Of course, this is a classic reflection of the general public's "Magic Pill" consumer-based mindset.
They REALLY think it's all about the lines and usually can't "get over it" no matter how much evidence I pummel them with to the contrary.
Like, yeah.... Yeah..... YEAH that's RIGHT, you can just take a guy with NO SUCCESS and give him a SET OF LINES and he's gonna be rockin' "hoes in different area codes" and bringin' a revolution of pimpin' WORLD WIDE.
Uhhhh... Urban legend?? Uhhhh.... uhhhhhhhhh.......
*Sigh*
I've often thought that on some level it's more appeasing to the ego to learn a set of lines because it's more tangible and easy to grasp. You can look at what you've learned and say to yourself "I have this new way of doing things that makes me feel better than the naturals... I am now *enhanced*..."
It's just a lot more quantifiable in this "More, more, more..." world than, say, a surging feeling of confidence in your body that you can't entirely explain.
Regardless, you might have noticed RSD is pretty notorious for running in-field bootcamps where we'll get you doing exercises like opening with "I like salad" or "Who are you??" or just walking up to the girl and staring until she starts laughing uncontrollably.
We do this with you sometimes specifically as an *exercise* to hammer home the point that IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.
(At least as long as you're genuinely "offering value"... and not being validation-seeking, creepy, or insecure).
As long as you've got the fundamental core principles that we work you through down pat, the actual words themselves are pretty incidental.
Still, oftentimes you have people from outside the community read about this and say "These guys are teaching people to say I LIKE SALAD?? But... But... That's like the worst LINE I've ever heard... I knew this stuff was bull****... Let me get back to my World Of Warcraft game..."
Other times you also have guys from *inside* the community who are still coming from the "entertainer-man" frame, and try it expecting it be similar to their usual "talk about topics that entertain women" type openers or whatever.
Obviously these are both instances of gross misunderstandings of what this stuff is all about. They're missing the sets of "core beliefs" that allow you to sort of "transcend" the need to have the perfect line.
Let's look at a few of the types of beliefs that I'm talking about......
1) AS A GIRL BECOMES ATTRACTED SHE MOSTLY NOTICES AND REMEMBERS WHAT SHE "FEELS"... AND HAS VERY LITTLE ATTENTION OR RETENTION OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
This obviously varies from girl to girl. I've had girls shock me by remembering all sorts of tiny details of our conversations at times.
Usually there's like these one or two things that she grabs onto for some reason or other. It just depends on the girl.
The majority of the time, however, I've noticed the girls remember very little about our overall conversation.
What they remember is mostly that they had fun, that I was a cool guy, and that's about it...
I've found this to lead to all sorts of hilarious anomolies...... like that you can do a "palm reading" on a girl or even pose as a FULL PSYCHIC, and yet she has no recollection of this the on the second meet.
I mean, even if a girl believes in telepathy you'd think it's pretty insane she thinks she's on an ACTUAL DATE with a REAL LIFE PSYCHIC WIZARD, no??
Like, "Hey Julie, I'm going out for dinner and a movie with this psychic dude named Owen... I think he's a Warlock... Don't wait up..."
The thing is, back in the day when I used to try literally everything I could find on the internet (2002/03 -- you dudes who came into this in 2007 have absolutely no idea how lucky you are) I don't think I ever had a girl I dated actually remember it.
All they ever remembered was that our conversation was "super fun".
Now you guys might be thinking "Does this mean that I should be posing as a psychic??"
Uhhhhhh, NO.
What I'm getting at here is that there is VERY LITTLE LIMITATION as to what you can talk about with a girl.
She's feeling whatever emotional state YOU are in, and being drawn into that.
Your state is contagious. Remember this.
STATE - IS - CONTAGIOUS.
If you're feeling a surge of confidence and positivity (aka -- the NIMBUS of glory) in your body, that feeling is going to be transfered into HER body and she's going to love you to death.
As she becomes more and more attracted, you can talk pure nonsensical gibberish at her and she's going to be loving it more and more.
Obviously if you try this when you're feeling "out of state" then she's just going to ask you if you're drunk or on drugs.
If you're feeling AWESOME, however, and you draw people into your reality...... all it's going to do is get her investing in trying to play along with the silly conversation you're having, and build more attraction.
(Note: The "This is going to get misinterpreted by newbies and turn them into retards" red-alert is going off in my head right now... If you play with the ideas in this article, feel free to "go over the line" and see where the limit is, but also make sure to use common sense and calibrate once you've got it figured out).
Anyway, one of the major reasons I rarely run out of stuff to say is that I'm not limited by it having to make all that much sense. I "fractionate" between intelligent logical conversation and total self-amusing nonsense.
I can pretty much talk indefinitely. There is no pre-set ending to the conversation because it's not "linear" or "goal-directed" and there's no purpose for it other than to have fun.
This is very liberating and frees me up to really FEEL the emotions in my body and allow them to FLOW from myself to the girl.
2) SEXUAL COMMUNICATION LIKE "STATE" AND "DOMINANCE" HAVE EXISTED FAR LONGER THAN WORDS
A huge, huge epiphany for me has been that communicating state and dominance is far more potent in terms of attracting women than the words I use.
I used to think that meeting women was similar to a "sales presentation" where I wanted to very subtley allow her to see all of the "features an benefits" of going out with me.
No more.
These days when I talk to a girl my only assumption is that she's having fun with me, and that during this time she's unconsciously observing cues in my behaviour that have existed in human beings for thousands of years before I was ever born.
Somewhat funny sounding, I know. But I really believe it.
In my own humble opinion and experience, girls are usually feeling from you the following things...:
-Are you "self-monitoring" or are you "outside your head"??
-Are the words seeking her reaction or approval, or are they just "flowing out of you" without the slightest effort??
-Do you have to "go back into your head" when you think of what to say, or do you just flow because you speak authentically??
-Do you get your sense of reality from other people, or do you get it from your own independent interpretation??
-Do you draw your state from the ever-changing environment, or do you draw your state from within yourself?? (Huge, massive, and possibly the most important part of all this...... When you get this down you are unstoppable).
In all my experience, all this stuff is going to get women extremely attracted to you extremely quickly.
In fact, the whole "gibberish" thing is sooooo good because 1) it keeps YOU amused with YOURSELF which keeps you in state, and 2) it keeps the conversation going indefinitely while you're playfully being dominant and drawing boundaries on her and moving her around.
She's having so much fun talking to you while getting more and more attracted simultaneously.
The best part: This becomes integrated into your core personality, and it's not a character that you have to turn "on" or "off".
3) WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY HAS VALUE PURELY BECAUSE IT COMES FROM *YOU*... AND WHAT YOU SAY IS INTERESTING NOT BECAUSE OF THE SPECIFIC "CONTENT", BUT BECAUSE THE GIRL IS INTERESTED IN WHAT IS INTERESTING TO *YOU*
Alright this last one has to do with the "filter" in your mind that either "allows" or "blocks" you from saying what's on your mind.
A great way of describing this is "stifled" or "unstifled".
Once you reach a level where you can speak your mind easily, the conversation flows out "naturally" and "in the moment" -- which makes it very "on point".
This gives you a lot of room to convey your natural personality without having to be so over-the-top. You can even be a bit "humble" or "shy" if you want, and girls will be into it because you're so natural and at-ease with yourself.
Think of it this way....... If you're talking to a room full of 11 year olds, you probably won't "run out of things to say".
