The Approach

[KingWithoutACrown]

Alright, so this is gunna sound pretty weak, but i can't muster up the guts to approach this girl ive been eyeing for...well, for about a year. the story goes is that im in the schools choir (which yes it sounds lame, but its actually pretty popular in our school, arts are like sports for us and im an aspiring musician so yeah, hopefully you get the picture) and theres a sophomore (im a junior) in there who really caught my eye. shes pretty shy and she always seems to be surrounded by some of her friends. Now, im definitely no AFC, yet i wouldnt call myself a Don Juan either. i usually wouldnt have a problem approaching a girl but i dont feel like i can make a B-line up to her and just be like "hey whats up", kinda sketchy if you ask me. now, ive talked to her before, breifly, and our eyes always seem to catch eachother in class, sometimes i catch her staring at me so im guessing shes interested.

now, uno problemo, she hangs out with this senior who she used to date, and im not sure if there not dating still because they never acted like a couple (i think she just went out with him bc she felt bad for him and hes not getting the picture) and even when they were rumored to be an item, her facebook status always remained single...but honestly, i dont think this guy will be any obstacle once i get in there

so heres the problem: how do i approach her? any smooth moves you guys wanna share with me?

thanks guys

 

[drummer]

No offense, but you are in AFC denial. If you can't go up to a girl in a completely normal and nonsexual manner, it is simply what you are. NOW that you can accept that, its time to improve on it. Start be being overall more outgoing in class, talk to the people by you and crack some jokes. I know this isn't talking to her BUT she will see it. It makes you more approachable as a person. When you want to talk to her is simply up to you; ask her about what she thinks of the music you are singing, any big school events, ANYTHING, just break the ice.

 

[saturos]

I think thats not quite right, Drummer

First of all, he said that the chick is a sophomore. Thus, she wouldn't be in any of his classes, unless he is an idiot, or she is really smart, both of which i doubt. Thus, he can't social proof himself
Secondly, there is a difference between being DJ and being creepy, in high school, going up to a random group of girls halfway through the schoolyear will probably not yield very good results at all.

 

[KingWithoutACrown]

yeah shes in none of my classes except chorus. yeah, theres definitely some ice breaking to be done, and like i said, shes shy, so it looks like im going to have to be the one to make the move, obviously. the thing is, i can never find an opportunity to kick up a conversations, seeing as though we sit on the other side of the room from eachother and she usually has friends around her.

anybody got any smooth line/tricks to break the ice?

 

[saturos]

Oh, if she is in your chorus class, there should be no excuse to not be able to talk to her.
Granted, talking to someone a grade down, i find, is a lot harder, because a lot of talk at school is about kids and teachers you know and things they have done.
Of course, it IS halfway through the year, so randomly starting to talk to her might be weird.

I guess i would be interested in seeing how you guys would handle this as well, sosuave.

 

[jeffthechef]

ok..i had a sorta similar experience in my band class

there was this girl...cheerleader..big in the good places....this was way before ss by the way

i'm at my locker putting my instrument away..and she plays the same instrumenta s me....so her locker is near mine...out of nowhere...middle of the year...she says, wow you have lots of stuff in your locker...

i didn't find it infinitesimally strange or weird....

so dont go straight up trying to game her...that would be weird...instead just say hi and make a comment....dont just say how's it going or anything like that...
say hi make a comment...and if she responds welll....then you know what to do

the thing is...i'm not a big advocate for people who believe this or that is weird or creepy....an approach is better than none

WHAT COULD YOU LOSE?

 

[TheEnergizer]

i agree with saturos somewhat and jeffthechef somewhat. ive approached plenty of people this week and last week even though its half way through the year, with success. but it depends on some factors.

heres a tip: if you see eachother alot, and she acknowledges your existence before you approach her (ie having the same class/friends/afterschool thing/etc) then just approach however you want. thats opposed to a complete total stranger who you rarely see at all and youve never heard them speak, and the same to you also. thats what i think the difference is between coming off wierd on the approach and coming off successfully. and thats how ive been meeting people. simple if you have the same class really, theres no reason not to be acquainted with her. its when you dont have these things in common and you only really see her in the halls or at lunch when shes with all her friends that things get a bit more complicated. but i see that doesnt apply to you at the moment, so we'll leave that for a different time. start simple.

for the same class you can just ask her about homework or say hey we have the same class or whatever. easy as it gets really.

i'm currently on a mission this year to meet lots of people so i'm pretty smart about this topic by now haha

hope i cleared that up.