The AFC AFC/DJ WARS Revenge of the AFC A New AFC AFC Strikes Back Return of the DJ

[jeffthechef]

****z...i was happy for about 5 months...i had a couple hookups and all that...but my oneitis for a girl i had oneitis for two years before is back again

i was at my friend's house and he was on facebook...and he stops to show me every picture of the girl...and it gets me analyzing again...i think my oneitis was ended previously because i didn't take action...i thought to myself what's so special about this girl...and i moved on to all the others and left the girl alone...so i didn't analyze because i was after others...but i think that was essentially me running away from the problem...

now i want to slowly build rapport with her..and then see if she wants to hang...but when i see these facebook photos..i think to myself
(she looks so happy hanging out with her friends and is popular...so what chance do i have)

AND I'M BECOMING AN AFC ALL OVER AGAIN...and this is causing me to rush into any plan that comes to mind...i wanted to go straight to asking her to hang but some other dj's advised me not to...

have any words of wisdom..anything is appreciated...swear/joke/tell a story...:rock:

 

[Five To One]

Dont pursue your oneitis. It only leads to heartbreak. Unless the two of you go on and get married and live together the rest of your life? unlikely

Believe me its not worth it. Stick with girls that you can still control your feelings for.

btw I love the star wars

 

[CaptainJ]

Girls are very insecure. Fact.
Ever wondered why they are always taking photos of themselves at parties, with their friends, posing, looking pretty and having fun? It's to give themselves a confidence boost. People look at those photos and see a hot girl having a really fun time. They feel intimidated and think "She is so sexy and fun, i could never get her, I'll just retreat back into the safety of my shell".
The truth however behind all the photos, is that they are probably having more fun looking at the photos afterwards than they actually had during the taking of them. If you look beneath the surface, you'll discover that it's a really subtle way of covering up an insecurity. They want to validate themselves socially and show that they are fun and confident. Yet the fact that they need to do this just shows how insecure and frail they really are.
Guys rarely or never take photos of themselves at parties having fun, because they are often not as insecure (or clever in using a subtle ploy to boost your confidence) as girls. They don't seek to validate themselves to everyone else that they had a good time, because they just go and do it.
Don't feel intimidated by those photos, just realise that the girl is trying to cover up an insecurity.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

lol nice title dude

personally it sounds to me like ur infatuated and in love with some pictures.
don't sell yourself short though man. if you're alright with women and want to become a real DJ, forget the oneitis bull sh1t and make the following two of your main goals 1. get as many women as you can without getting oneitis, and 2. develop yourself as a man so that you can have pictures taken of yourself that make girls think of you as you currently think about this girl on facebook. one difference you will make is that you'll be having more fun in the moment and wont even care about the pictures.

 

[WCF]

Girls are very insecure. Fact.
Ever wondered why they are always taking photos of themselves at parties, with their friends, posing, looking pretty and having fun? It's to give themselves a confidence boost. People look at those photos and see a hot girl having a really fun time. They feel intimidated and think "She is so sexy and fun, i could never get her, I'll just retreat back into the safety of my shell".
The truth however behind all the photos, is that they are probably having more fun looking at the photos afterwards than they actually had during the taking of them. If you look beneath the surface, you'll discover that it's a really subtle way of covering up an insecurity. They want to validate themselves socially and show that they are fun and confident. Yet the fact that they need to do this just shows how insecure and frail they really are.
Guys rarely or never take photos of themselves at parties having fun, because they are often not as insecure (or clever in using a subtle ploy to boost your confidence) as girls. They don't seek to validate themselves to everyone else that they had a good time, because they just go and do it.
Don't feel intimidated by those photos, just realise that the girl is trying to cover up an insecurity.

Wow, very nice advice. I found myself falling for these pictures all the time. I did stop to notice that, a lot of the time, it was the pictures that I fell in love with. Probably why I end up feeling more for a girl when I'm with her on, say, Facebook, then when I see her in real life. So much can be twisted and hyped on the internet. I'm the kind of sucker that falls for this hype (hopefully not anymore).

The thing about insecurity is very true. I notice that some girls will always talk about how much fun they have, but when you observe them or hang out with them in real life...they really are just like anyone else. This knowledge should help me out

 

[jeffthechef]

thanks for all the posts...lots of new ideas that i haven't really considered

i think i have to pursue her...just not while i have oneitis for her
what you're saying is right though...pursuing onneitis leads to heartbreak because you're so emotionally attached...the thing is...i think about her a lot..but i know i would not cry or be sad if she said no....i am sure i would just walk off to my next class or go home....i think i just want this whole thing with her to turn into something new..or end. and this feeling is the final result of having attempted but not responded...due to her bf at the time probably

and the whole insecurity issue sounds very true...but at school when she's with a friend(s) she's also happy...but when she's alone her arms are crossed and she doesn't smile...maybe it was just a bad day but there's no way for me to know

i guess i'll let it a settle for a bit..then try and talk to her for a bit..and if things go well, i'll try to set somethign up

thanks

 

[Jokerlsk]

Listen, Jeff, if you attempt to go back to this girl, you will either A: Get denied, and feel like even more of an AFC, or B: Contract B**** dependancy, and B**** is no laughing matter. You are a man, and this is one girl. There are billions of girls out there, and millions of them are more attractive than her. You can do way better bro. If you pursue, you will gain B**** dependancy. STAY AWAY FROM HER. i've had this before. My oneitis/bestfriend fell for my biggest enemy, and it really screwed me up until I dropped out of my AFC ways, and started acted liking a DJ. I had to actually tell that girl that she was a f****** hoe and to get the f*** out of my life, and to never talk to me again because I don't deal with hoes. Get out of your b**** dependant ways and become a man.

 

[jeffthechef]

Listen, Jeff, if you attempt to go back to this girl, you will either A: Get denied, and feel like even more of an AFC, or B: Contract B**** dependancy, and B**** is no laughing matter. You are a man, and this is one girl. There are billions of girls out there, and millions of them are more attractive than her. You can do way better bro. If you pursue, you will gain B**** dependancy. STAY AWAY FROM HER. i've had this before. My oneitis/bestfriend fell for my biggest enemy, and it really screwed me up until I dropped out of my AFC ways, and started acted liking a DJ. I had to actually tell that girl that she was a f****** hoe and to get the f*** out of my life, and to never talk to me again because I don't deal with hoes. Get out of your b**** dependant ways and become a man.

now i'm confused

 

[eaglez1177]

Girls are very insecure. Fact.
Ever wondered why they are always taking photos of themselves at parties, with their friends, posing, looking pretty and having fun? It's to give themselves a confidence boost. People look at those photos and see a hot girl having a really fun time. They feel intimidated and think "She is so sexy and fun, i could never get her, I'll just retreat back into the safety of my shell".
The truth however behind all the photos, is that they are probably having more fun looking at the photos afterwards than they actually had during the taking of them. If you look beneath the surface, you'll discover that it's a really subtle way of covering up an insecurity. They want to validate themselves socially and show that they are fun and confident. Yet the fact that they need to do this just shows how insecure and frail they really are.
Guys rarely or never take photos of themselves at parties having fun, because they are often not as insecure (or clever in using a subtle ploy to boost your confidence) as girls. They don't seek to validate themselves to everyone else that they had a good time, because they just go and do it.
Don't feel intimidated by those photos, just realise that the girl is trying to cover up an insecurity.

Wow thats a very good insight right there CaptainJ!

 

[CaptainJ]

Wow thats a very good insight right there CaptainJ!

Thanks. I only realised it when I saw some pictures taken on me on Facebook which showed that I was having a really good time with all types of different people and I thought "Wow, no wonder Girls like taking pictures so much, these ones show me off as a cool, fun guy."

Ofcourse, I do encourage people to when you are at a party with girls who are taking photos, to get in there and get some taken with you. When they put them up on Facebook, you'll be seen as somewhat of a player if you're in a picture with 4 other girls, and it will socially validate you. Girls will see you as a fun person.

 

[theobserver]

now i'm confused

okay, well pretty much it's not worth it. it's like taking a step backward from all the progress you made. you shouldn't do it, unless you can emotionally detach yourself from her and treat her like you would any other girl. but you must realize this in itself is hard to do, especially once your new self attracts her. like captainj said, you'll become dependent. personally i'd stay away. good luck with your situation.


patrick