The actual ways of getting rid of approach anxiety

[ParkBenchRomance]

I used to have approach anxiety in past and I had used several hypnotic stuffs to reduce my approach anxiety but all of them turned out to be garbages. There are many mindset courses giving you reasons as to why you should not be afraid of approaching women and how we should not put women on pedastal but all the reasons were thrown out of window when I actually tried to approach because I still froze. There are many courses out there promoted in the way as if their method will make you super confident and you will never feel anxiety again but it doesn't work at all. There is no "x many steps to be confident with women"
I am going to tell you what actually worked for me but firstly in honor of mystery, I think his 3 seconds rule work but only in night game because in daygame it would take more than at least 10 for a girl to reach you or for you to reach her after the first sight.
The method which worked for me was asking random girls on street for time,direction etc because I knew that girls won't eat me alive for asking these things and these are 2 seconds of interaction so I didn't need to think about what to say or how to continue a conversation. I still felt the anxiety but it was less and I managed to ask girls these things then over time I started gaining comfort around women so I tried have longer conversations. If you feel a lot of anxiety before asking these things then practice on unknown guys first then try it on unknown girls. Imagining the process in my mind vividly also works kinda because according to some researches brain doesn't understand the difference between real experience and vivid imagination with sound,smell,feeling etc

The trick is to talk to more women, and more often. Once you're comfortable it won't even become a question

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

These guys get nervous when they have to talk to a waitress. Their social inadequacy is incomparable to you, Slick Rick.

Yeah when there are guys that post about their ASMR “relationships” and secret contracts with pixels and how it affects their lives, you know we’re dealing with some real nut jobs for the most part.

I wonder how long it’ll be before the questions about how to “game” a hot chick LLM will start.

 

[corrector]

I managed to ask girls these things then over time I started gaining comfort around women so I tried have longer conversations.

Well done. Very inspiration post. You have to take baby steps.

You've taken baby steps, see that women don't bite, and as a result you got more comfortable. This is actually a big deal.
You can't seduce someone who you think is your enemy or hostile towards you from the bat. Being comfortable is the first step.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You've taken baby steps, see that women don't bite, and as a result you got more comfortable. This is actually a big deal.
You can't seduce someone who you think is your enemy or hostile towards you from the bat. Being comfortable is the first step.

Are you speaking from personal experience?

 

[corrector]

Are you speaking from personal experience?

You read the cafeteria thread, so yeah.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You read the cafeteria thread, so yeah.

I forgot how that ended. You're still sitting together in silence or did you seduce her yet?

 

[corrector]

I forgot how that ended. You're still sitting together in silence or did you seduce her yet?

I answered your first question. That is all you will get. You expect me to be nice now? Look up the thread yourself.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I answered your first question. That is all you will get. You expect me to be nice now? Look up the thread yourself.

No, I really don't care enough about whatever you do in your 'relationships'.

 

[corrector]

No, I really don't care enough about whatever you do in your 'relationships'.

You mean my epic fails. That is good then. I thought you liked reading bad news and terrible things so you can pick on me on other threads about how luckless guys should not give advice.

 

[BPH]

You mean my epic fails. That is good then. I thought you liked reading bad news and terrible things so you can pick on me on other threads about how luckless guys should not give advice.

These comments led to me checking your post history and figuring out what he was talking about...

Is the OF breakup thing real or are you trolling?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You mean my epic fails. That is good then. I thought you liked reading bad news and terrible things so you can pick on me on other threads about how luckless guys should not give advice.

Your 'fails' are not 'epic'. Sad perhaps, but not real tragedies. Most of your suffering is your own doing (and/or not taking action), and you seem to wallow in your self pity, like you're doing now imagining me as some bully who enjoys to put people down.
Paranoid delusions.
You cannot expect to put on a tearful thread on how you 'broke up' with an OF model that you subscribed to and expect people to take you seriously.
Multiple members have advised you to seek professional help, but you don't follow advice and sublimate ASMR videos with professional psychotherapy.
And I'm fine with that. It's your life. What I'm not fine with is you trying to draw new members, who have no idea who you are, into your paranoid delusions by giving them useless advice.
And I write this here, not for your benefit, because I know a hopeless case when I see one, but I think you're doing harm by promoting prostitutes and paid cuddling to people who come here to learn how to improve themselves and their relationships with the other sex.

 

[corrector]

These comments led to me checking your post history and figuring out what he was talking about...

Is the OF breakup thing real or are you trolling?

The cafeteria thread, not that thread. Any serious thread about interactions with real women (ie no pros or money involved) are in the "Don Juan Discussion" section. If people are confusing threads then I'll have to either bump up that thread or reference on this thread.

 

[corrector]

Your 'fails' are not 'epic'. Sad, but not real tragedies. Most of your suffering is your own doing (and/or not taking action), and you seem to wallow in your self pity, like you're doing now imagining me as some bully who enjoys to put people down.

You are not?

Paranoid delusions.
You cannot expect to put on a tearful thread on how you 'broke up' with an OF model that you subscribed to and expect people to take you seriously.

What makes you think that was a tearful thread if I unsubscribed? It has nothing to do with her.

Multiple members have advised you to seek professional help, but you don't follow advice and sublimate ASMR videos with professional psychotherapy.

If it was a thread posted on this section then that would be a different story. Telling someone they need help on what is a fantasy thread is like someone in a dream saying you need help. If it's a dream then it's not real in the first place.

And I'm fine with that. It's your life. What I'm not fine with is you trying to draw new members, who have no idea who you are, into your paranoid delusions by giving them useless advice.

Here you are the bully that is picking on me and putting me down over nonsense. What useless advice have I given?

And I write this here, not for your benefit, because I know a hopeless case when I see one, but I think you're doing harm by promoting prostitutes and paid cuddling to people who come here to learn how to improve themselves and their relationships with the other sex.

I never gave such advice on this thread. Show me any such advice I have given on this thread or any other thread that you have "bullied' me on on this section?

 

[corrector]

To clear the air -- here is the non-fantasy real-life thread I was talking about:

Cringe Lunch or personal Social Experiment?

I honestly don't know what to make of this. I approached a lady I think I have a crush on in the cafeteria, asked her if I could sit next to her for lunch, after a brief small talk and sat the next seat next to her. We didn't do much talking at all. I ended up watching something on my Tablet...

www.sosuave.net

Any other thread referenced on the "Anything Else" section is fantasy based or has a strong fantasy or parasocial component which is why it's on that other section.

 

[BPH]

The cafeteria thread, not that thread. Any serious thread about interactions with real women (ie no pros or money involved) are in the "Don Juan Discussion" section. If people are confusing threads then I'll have to either bump up that thread or reference on this thread.

I just want to know if that's real.

 

[corrector]

I just want to know if that's real.

There is no reference to any interaction other than co-worker in cafeteria (or other co-worker friend if reference).

When dealing with "real women" you are purely dealing with chance, timing, the luck of the draw, that type of thing. Everything that's not under any control. Total chaos and absolutely unstructured. Especially if you are operating from a disadvantage from the get-go. It's not like fantasy where it's totally under your control (ie if you are paying into something or paying someone for something, or pressing play on a video, then that feels like under your total control).

 

[BPH]

There is no reference to any interaction other than co-worker in cafeteria (or other co-worker friend if reference).

When dealing with "real women" you are purely dealing with chance, timing, the luck of the draw, that type of thing. Everything that's not under any control. Total chaos and absolutely unstructured. Especially if you are operating from a disadvantage from the get-go. It's not like fantasy where it's totally under your control (ie if you are paying into something or paying someone for something, or pressing play on a video, then that feels like under your total control).

Let me clarify...

You having a "relationship" with somebody over OnlyFans.

Is that real?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Show me any such advice I have given on this thread or any other thread that you have "bullied' me on on this section?

And give you more attention? No.

 

[corrector]

Let me clarify...

You having a "relationship" with somebody over OnlyFans.

Is that real?

Nothing involving payment is real. It is not supposed to be real.

That was a subscription with someone over OnlyFans with some exchange of emails throughout some time. I didn't even look at her pics (ie in terms of looking to fap on them, etc....) and oftentimes, just zeroed straight to the messages. Sometimes she'd take a little while to reply to the messages but it was an otherwise continuous exchange over time.

However, I'm paying for it since it's a subscription, and some type of contact with her would be expected.

I would not call that a relationship or anything other than contact with a escort. She of herself called it "chit-chat".

However, if you are talking fantasy, I can call it anything I want based on how it makes me feel, rather than what it actually is.

 

[BPH]

Nothing involving payment is real. It is not supposed to be real.

That was a subscription with someone over OnlyFans with some exchange of emails throughout some time. I didn't even look at her pics and oftentimes, just zeroed straight to the messages. Sometimes she'd take a little while to reply to the messages but it was an otherwise continuous exchange over time.

However, I'm paying for it since it's a subscription, and some type of contact with her would be expected.

I would not call that a relationship or anything other than contact with a escort.

However, if you are talking fantasy, I can call it anything I want based on how it makes me feel, rather than what it actually is.

Ok, so it is real.

In that case, I don't mean this to be rude, but I don't think you should be giving advice on this stuff. It sounds like you have some of your own issues to sort out, as I see others have suggested.

Emotional and financial investment on that level with somebody who is likely not even the person you think you're talking to, along with your defense of that behavior, seems very unhealthy. And considering a lot of new guys will see your message count and reaction score, your advice WILL be followed, regardless of whether it's actually any good.