I've been wanting to give back to this site that has given me so much. I am not sure how'd best to do it because I'm no perfect DJ but to date I hope to outline how my journey has gone for others starting out to see and give another insight to the many of the roads to success. You may have heard of the 5 stages of Loss and Grief. Well this is my take on the 5 stages to becoming a DJ. Feel free to add, critique and question guys.
Denial and Isolation
Many an ex chump began here. I began here. Many will stay here, settle for life with the first thing with b**bs and a bum that reciprocates their feelings. Your life as a man will be spent catering to her needs. We are the guys that watch as all our friends get into stable relationships while we remain single. We are the guys that receive the most quality and creative of 'lets just be friends' rejections. You know yourself and yet you know what the common denominator is? You.
Yet some of us won't accept it. Yet we do nothing about it. Some of us will be bitter, some of us will perverse the nice guys finish last thought. Yet we never really address the problem do we? The problem being; You.
Anger
As one too many rejection sinks in, we keep asking ourselves what we are doing wrong. Why it it never works. Why that it is so easy for other guys; your friends you see whom can simply go out to a club and pull a chick or the other friend happily in a relationship. We get frustrated; we never find what we want. Maybe we'll blame the world for our problems.
Yet the world keeps on moving, that girl you oneitis'd will reply to you while being pumped by a guy after you got friendzoned. The anger you will feel, the emotions, own it. Promise yourself something, promise that you will never return back to a place like this. Breath in the heart ache. Life was never meant to be easy nor are the things we want the most, things of ease.
Bargaining
Fair few reach this stage and even a fairer few reach SS. Our eyes are open to the world of self improvement and PUA. Yet what happens most of the time? We kid ourselves. We think that we now, throwing ourselves into learning these techniques; C+F, kino, agreeing and escalating , all this will be what we need to get ourselves landing those HB10's we dream of taking home. You're kidding yourself. Many will stay in this stage throwing themselves further deeper into learning the ways. Sure many may pull their share of woman yet what I've seen too is they never find what they want. Let alone those whom actually reach this stage of DJ ability with woman.
I remember a thread by a regular poster a few years back whom I was in awe of pulling woman I'd dream of but at the end of the day, I remember his last posts being of how unhappy he was and how unfulfilled he'd become. That post was his last and never did I hear from him again.
Depression
I believe this is the part that is the pre-cursor to the biggest change in your life. It is so important you own it. This is when we come home after a night out having began the night thinking we are the no. 1 alpha only to be rejected time and time again on the dance floor. The nights when a date has failed and we wonder why having thought the things we've learnt on SS would guide us, have not. The endless nights we post a thread about a certain chick; let me emphasis that - one chick - of the billions that live on this planet.
Acceptance
This is where it all begins. This is where you realise finally, the common denominator all these years has been you guessed it; you. Fair enough it was a girl whom got you here but it's time to change. This is when you learn to internalise yourself. Where you really learn what hard work is all about and where you become a realist. Where you prioritise YOUR life above p*ssy.
This last stage my friend is not an easy one to reach. It has taken me years to get to this point as my constant denial clouded my judgement. But rest assured once you hit that button that you are looking for change, you hit it properly guns blazing. It has been a good two months of clean eating, hard gym sessions, early mornings, changes in style etc etc. I won't deny I am always tired and at times my body cries to return to my old ways. Yet the most rewarding thing? People notice.
You're now setting standards, you're holding your head up and you're proud of all your hard work and as it pays off, your confidence soars. I overheard a group of girls staring at me, walking past me the other day and one of them joking how 'you might as well trip and fall on his d*ck' as I turned the corner. My confidence never felt so high. When people see you now, they want to be a part of you. Don't be surprised if the girl whom started all this some how returns to your life. Mine has. At parties, I'm no longer calculating or prep'ping myself to chat up a girl, I'm there to have fun and I'm relaxed because I have all this carrying me. In other words, I have something to stand for. If I do meet a girl I am interested in, I'm not over thinking. I switch off at that moment and let my d*ck carry me to her. The gym makes you a man.
Yet humans are creatures of comfort and laziness. It is so easy to regress back when we start to get what we are searching for. Don't. Keep throwing yourself at life. People want to know or be with people they think will enhance their lives. The moment you do not, is the moment you get caste back out on the streets. I've noticed the relationships that have gone down the drain are the ones when both couples have become too comfortable with each other and one either starts to stray looking for greener pastures. Don't blame them, lets be honest you would too.
I personally don't think you can skip these stages on your journey. Everyone needs that heartache that pushes you to better yourself. What advice I can give is that whenever you get down or hit a low point, breathe, give yourself time to gather your thoughts then simply get up and move on. Catch yourself because the worry you feel today won't change the outcome of tomorow. I've got a long way to go I am not lying. If I were to get in a relationship tomorow because of this, I'd know I'd be stuffed but at the very least, I can hit the bed every night knowing I've done something today no matter how miniscule to push myself to becoming the person I want to be in the future.
To all the wise heads on SS, thank you. To all the new guys, I wish you all the best on the greatest journey of your life.
Denial and Isolation
Many an ex chump began here. I began here. Many will stay here, settle for life with the first thing with b**bs and a bum that reciprocates their feelings. Your life as a man will be spent catering to her needs. We are the guys that watch as all our friends get into stable relationships while we remain single. We are the guys that receive the most quality and creative of 'lets just be friends' rejections. You know yourself and yet you know what the common denominator is? You.
Yet some of us won't accept it. Yet we do nothing about it. Some of us will be bitter, some of us will perverse the nice guys finish last thought. Yet we never really address the problem do we? The problem being; You.
Anger
As one too many rejection sinks in, we keep asking ourselves what we are doing wrong. Why it it never works. Why that it is so easy for other guys; your friends you see whom can simply go out to a club and pull a chick or the other friend happily in a relationship. We get frustrated; we never find what we want. Maybe we'll blame the world for our problems.
Yet the world keeps on moving, that girl you oneitis'd will reply to you while being pumped by a guy after you got friendzoned. The anger you will feel, the emotions, own it. Promise yourself something, promise that you will never return back to a place like this. Breath in the heart ache. Life was never meant to be easy nor are the things we want the most, things of ease.
Bargaining
Fair few reach this stage and even a fairer few reach SS. Our eyes are open to the world of self improvement and PUA. Yet what happens most of the time? We kid ourselves. We think that we now, throwing ourselves into learning these techniques; C+F, kino, agreeing and escalating , all this will be what we need to get ourselves landing those HB10's we dream of taking home. You're kidding yourself. Many will stay in this stage throwing themselves further deeper into learning the ways. Sure many may pull their share of woman yet what I've seen too is they never find what they want. Let alone those whom actually reach this stage of DJ ability with woman.
I remember a thread by a regular poster a few years back whom I was in awe of pulling woman I'd dream of but at the end of the day, I remember his last posts being of how unhappy he was and how unfulfilled he'd become. That post was his last and never did I hear from him again.
Depression
I believe this is the part that is the pre-cursor to the biggest change in your life. It is so important you own it. This is when we come home after a night out having began the night thinking we are the no. 1 alpha only to be rejected time and time again on the dance floor. The nights when a date has failed and we wonder why having thought the things we've learnt on SS would guide us, have not. The endless nights we post a thread about a certain chick; let me emphasis that - one chick - of the billions that live on this planet.
Acceptance
This is where it all begins. This is where you realise finally, the common denominator all these years has been you guessed it; you. Fair enough it was a girl whom got you here but it's time to change. This is when you learn to internalise yourself. Where you really learn what hard work is all about and where you become a realist. Where you prioritise YOUR life above p*ssy.
This last stage my friend is not an easy one to reach. It has taken me years to get to this point as my constant denial clouded my judgement. But rest assured once you hit that button that you are looking for change, you hit it properly guns blazing. It has been a good two months of clean eating, hard gym sessions, early mornings, changes in style etc etc. I won't deny I am always tired and at times my body cries to return to my old ways. Yet the most rewarding thing? People notice.
You're now setting standards, you're holding your head up and you're proud of all your hard work and as it pays off, your confidence soars. I overheard a group of girls staring at me, walking past me the other day and one of them joking how 'you might as well trip and fall on his d*ck' as I turned the corner. My confidence never felt so high. When people see you now, they want to be a part of you. Don't be surprised if the girl whom started all this some how returns to your life. Mine has. At parties, I'm no longer calculating or prep'ping myself to chat up a girl, I'm there to have fun and I'm relaxed because I have all this carrying me. In other words, I have something to stand for. If I do meet a girl I am interested in, I'm not over thinking. I switch off at that moment and let my d*ck carry me to her. The gym makes you a man.
Yet humans are creatures of comfort and laziness. It is so easy to regress back when we start to get what we are searching for. Don't. Keep throwing yourself at life. People want to know or be with people they think will enhance their lives. The moment you do not, is the moment you get caste back out on the streets. I've noticed the relationships that have gone down the drain are the ones when both couples have become too comfortable with each other and one either starts to stray looking for greener pastures. Don't blame them, lets be honest you would too.
I personally don't think you can skip these stages on your journey. Everyone needs that heartache that pushes you to better yourself. What advice I can give is that whenever you get down or hit a low point, breathe, give yourself time to gather your thoughts then simply get up and move on. Catch yourself because the worry you feel today won't change the outcome of tomorow. I've got a long way to go I am not lying. If I were to get in a relationship tomorow because of this, I'd know I'd be stuffed but at the very least, I can hit the bed every night knowing I've done something today no matter how miniscule to push myself to becoming the person I want to be in the future.
To all the wise heads on SS, thank you. To all the new guys, I wish you all the best on the greatest journey of your life.
