The 1 simple thing you can do to improve your confidence in life

[Ease]

Work out at a gym lifting weights.

Any man that is not satisfied with his social life can do this to see results.

It will make guys respect you, and women become attracted to you.

 

[European-DJ]

Congratulations, this is the millionth time this advice has been given!

But yes, you are right, it definitely improves your chances... even though I never found it “appealing” to look like a body builder – a well toned, low fat %, physique is awesome though – it really brings wonders!

 

[Ease]

I have doubts this message ever reached the people here.

Real men dont sit around discussing techniques on talking to women and attraction all day. Leave it to the females to do the overanalysing of every detail.

Once you make it in life you find that you need to do the opposite of these techniques with girls. You need to lower your value sometimes and chase her while she plays hard to get.

Why? Because you are in the strong position and interested in the sexual side. She is trying to land you in a relationship and doing everything to get you interested. This is the natural way of society.

Dont just improve your chances, become a man. Leave behind your beta socially awkward self. The gym is the place to start.

 

[Eternal_water]

There is more to it though, Im physically in very good condition and very toned.

I'm also good socially once I'm past the first 10 or 20 minutes talking to someone new.

My entire problem is finding a way to project my personality in the first few minutes instead of being all robot, where do you work, live etc.

 

[cablecow15]

Very true , im just pissed that right before i was going to get a gym member ship they severely cut my hours at work , so im forced to wait until things pick up till i get in on the gym

until them its athome exercises (witch lets face it , you never do those as long as you should seeing as there are so many at home distractions)

 

[Ease]

There is more to it though, Im physically in very good condition and very toned.

I'm also good socially once I'm past the first 10 or 20 minutes talking to someone new.

My entire problem is finding a way to project my personality in the first few minutes instead of being all robot, where do you work, live etc.

How much do you bench/lift etc. Do you get compliments on your physique? Do women notice you? The appearance and confidence that comes with it will make it easy.

If she is attracted then all you need to do is not put your foot in your mouth.

The classic chit chat is all that is needed 99% of the time. Everyone has their own style tips and tricks, but anyone with experience knows that 'whats up' followed by a conversation starter is the be-all-end-all. The rest is minor.

 

[OC Speedball]

This is good advice (although yes, it has been given a million times). But lifting weights and getting yoked does not equal getting girls. Just take a visit to the bodybuilding.com forums... half the posts on there are people complaining about how they can't get girls.

In general though, working out with make you look better, boost testosterone, and will make your body release more pheromones. It naturally makes you more edgy too, which = more "alpha." It also makes it easier for you to get those fit girls (which by the way, are the hardest to get).

BUT, if you don't have game the gym won't do anything. Most guys don't even lift. You see plenty of super skinny or flabby guys with girls. But being toned/ripped WITH game will make you a lethal force when it comes to getting girls.

 

[st_99]

working out is not the holy grail but f*ck yeah it helps, it helps big time. (at least with ons )

but like anything else in life thats worth a sh!t, its not easy. gotta stick to it, eat right, yada yada yada...

 

[MisterD]

I'm skinny but I lift weights. Kind of going for a lean cut kind of thing. Anyways, yeah. After lifting weights and seeing results, I noticed I've been taking more risks in life, and not caring about the outcomes. I don't know if it's confidence from getting in better shape or what, but after a few solid months of lifting, i've been walking around like i own the place.

two other things that build confidence: 1.) don't care about outcomes 2.) be really good at something...i'm an amateur photographer and my stuff has been getting better and i've been getting more compliments and making more connections as a result. and that happiness/confidence has made it's way to the other areas of my life

 

[don't]

u r kidding yourself. Muscle adds almost nothing to fighting ability. That went out with the invention of clubs and the throwing of rocks, dude. It certainly went out with the advent of rapidfire repeating firearms. Real fighting ability brings real confidence. Get a black belt in karate, and Class A shooting ability, at IDPA combat pistol matches, and a CCW permit. THEN you truly will have something upon which to base your confidence, instead of just kidding yourself.

 

[cablecow15]

u r kidding yourself. Muscle adds almost nothing to fighting ability. That went out with the invention of clubs and the throwing of rocks, dude. It certainly went out with the advent of rapidfire repeating firearms. Real fighting ability brings real confidence. Get a black belt in karate, and Class A shooting ability, at IDPA combat pistol matches, and a CCW permit. THEN you truly will have something upon which to base your confidence, instead of just kidding yourself.

did it ever occur to you that the confidence comes from these people looking better , and not being some insecure dildo that's afraid of the world ?

and anyone has better odds if their stronger , even if they have no fighting skills there a lot safer than the weaker version of themselves

with your mentality a skinny looser with a s&w 500 is the coolest guy in a club

your name says all I need to know about your outlook on life

 

[djokovic77]

A hot body helps although I find the noticeably buff look a little unaesthetic. I used to be like 190-195 single digit BF at 6' with an ecto frame. Wayyy too big. I'm now 165 and built like Pitt in FC. My face is much sharper (even though my BF is the same, funny how that works) and I get hit on way way much more. I really think a lean body within your natural frame is the way to go.

If you are built like Terrell Owens and are a 6'3 225 pound no body fat God then good for you, but if not, don't force it. And accept that your somewhat skinny type of build is actually the aesthetic male model/hollywood ideal.

 

[EvilAgenda]

Hell yea, Espi, working out for the win. Wish more guys would stop working out to "pick up chicks" and just started working out for themselves.

Muscle adds almost nothing to fighting ability. That went out with the invention of clubs and the throwing of rocks.

Lol. The best fighters are some of the most ripped dudes in the world. Look at MMA fighters, at boxers. And unless you carry a club with you everywhere you go, you better not talk about weapons in a fight.

 

[djokovic77]

Lol, yeah : muscle definitely adds to your fighting ability. It's not a 1:1 ratio, and it's not always true, but in general to the average man, of course it does.

The guys who always claim it doesn't are usually unaesthetic betas too lazy to lift/ mad that the handsome/ripped guys are attracting chicks. Like this little indian kid wearing a south park t shirt who told me Im lame for working out, since its just for 'show.'

 

[zekko]

This is good advice (although yes, it has been given a million times). But lifting weights and getting yoked does not equal getting girls.

I agree with this, as well as the original post. I always feel more confident after a weight lifting session, for whatever reason. Maybe it's the hormones, endorphins, I don't know.

But getting jacked does not necessarily equate to getting laid. I started lifting weights in my early to mid twenties, and I don't recall it changing the reaction I got from girls much. But before I took up weight lifting, I was still very fit and athletic - I just had more of a hunter/gatherer type body instead of a bulked up musclehead type of body. I think in both cases I was fit and in shape, so it didn't make much difference.

Also, bear in mind that was the early 80s. I think it's like the musclehead/douchebag/bodybuilder type physique right now is in style, it's almost a fad. Like when fat women were considered attractive. Not comparing fat with muscle or anything, but it's like that physique is in style now. Isolating and pumping up each muscle - it's not that natural a look when you think about it.

When all is said and done, I really think the slimmer, hunter/gatherer type physique may actually prove to be more healthy than the muscular bulked up look.

 

[Atom Smasher]

As much as Ease and I do battle, I agree with his post.

Working out and appearing fit is the bedrock upon which all else is built when it comes to attraction. When I'm working out I get lots more initial attention than when I don't.

I have noticed around a 30 to 40% reduction in those "come hither" looks when I get out of shape. All a women needs to see is that you have some vitality and that you take care of yourself. That's well more than half the battle when it comes to attractiveness.

Ease is also right about respect. When I work out (and my body responds extremely quickly to weight training), I garner much more respect from men.

It truly is the bedrock of game. If you're not in decent shape, then a high percentage of your gaming efforts is going toward neutralizing your appearance. Why not get your body in shape, thereby freeing up those absorbed gaming efforts and leveraging them to your advantage?

Moderate looks to bordering on ugly + working out + confidence based on your sense of value = killer results. Just as women amplify their own feminine affectations (which is what we are actually attracted to), we can amplify masculine affectations very easily. Just convey that you have self-respect (and part of that is working out) and you will do very well out there.

 

[zekko]

Ease is also right about respect. When I work out (and my body responds extremely quickly to weight training), I garner much more respect from men.

I think you said something similar in the thread on aging, and I agree with you. Not about the respect, but about the body responding quickly to weight training. At my age, I think I've built up some sort of muscle memory. Last year I had to stop working out for about six weeks or so because I was tired of this recurring elbow injury I had. I finally decided to give it a good rest once and for all, and it hasn't bothered me since. But the point is, once I started working out again, it all came back very quickly.

Unfortunately, at 51, the reverse is true also. If I don't watch what I eat or slack off on exercising, I start putting on pounds around the middle. Which is not cool at all.

 

[bigneil]

It's amazing how fast we can put weight on.

I put on a few inches around my waist over the holidays, and actually suddenly couldn't fit into any of my 4 pair of (34x34) jeans, going up to 21% body fat (240 lb). Then I started back with fresh Grapefruit in the morning and riding my bicycle and (combined with the spring time) quickly lost the weight and am back to 16% body fat (215 lb). The jeans all fit again. So I lost 25 lb, 2/3 of which was pure fat, in less than 3 months.

Remember: diet is just as important as exercise.

 

[zekko]

It's amazing how fast we can put weight on.

It's a function of age, I think.
It was never even remotely a problem for me until I was about 36. Up until that point I couldn't have gotten fat if I had wanted to. Now I can't let my guard down or I'll pork out. That's probably the one thing I hate most about aging.

And you're right that diet is as important as exercise.

 

[don't]

muscle in and of itself, adds almost NOTHING to fighting ability. IF you are skilled, yes, then muscle adds to ability. I can carry a hollow metal, 4 ft long, 2 pc, quick disassembly walking "stick" anywhere, along with a couple of folding knives. Many states let you OPENLY carry a gun or a big knife, too. If you "think" that weapons WON'T be picked up and used, you are an idiot. Chairs, bricks, many things are often very readily to hand.