The #1 Most Important Thing To Do On Dates: RELAX

[bigneil]

As someone who was always known as being nervous, fidgety and uneasy, I've finally learned how to mellow out on dates and it's paying dividends.

So what are some keys to appearing more relaxed, especially in the presence of a HB8+?

1) Lean back. Leaning forward expresses higher interest.
2) Don't hold any tension in your shoulders. The more nervous you are the more you will lift them.
3) Hold eye contact indefinitely - make the woman break it first.
4) Breathe deeply, and through your nose.
5) Try not to move a single muscle. Any unnecessary motion such as tapping or fidgeting is seen as nervous energy.
6) Have had sex in the last month. If you don't, it will express itself in unhealthy ways.
7) Get enough exercise. When you are physically fit your heart rate will be lower and you can more easily relax.
8) If you need something to hold onto to keep your hands occupied, hold onto your glass.
9) Speak slowly.
10) Smile but don't overdo it. Ideally it's more of a smirk like you are making fun of her.
11) Exude as much confidence as possible. You KNOW she likes you. If you are unsure of this you will lose points.
12) Know that there are hotter women out there.
13) Focus on her flaws. Know that no woman is perfect. Take off the makeup and sexy outfit and she's more average than you can imagine.
14) Listen to her carefully (she is preparing you for the next date by telling you her passions).
15) Occasionally repeat her words back in a slightly different version. If she says "I really love chocolate..." you can later say "So you're a chocolate lover."
16) Nod regularly.
17) Don't cross your arms - it closes off your heart to her.
178 Be straight. Recreational drugs will make you appear more high strung.

When you are mellow in her presence she will say something to the effect of:

* "I feel so relaxed with you..."
* "I'm so comfortable with you..."
* "I just feel drawn to you..."

That's about as close to her mating call as you will ever hear.

 

[Kbomb]

good stuff. Only thing i disagree with is number 8. Holding your glass can be a security blanket. Always keep your hands in plain sight, unencumbered and relaxed. This shows that you do not need to hold anything to feel secure. It takes practice and it doesn't seem to matter much but added up with everything else it goes a long way.

 

[VladPatton]

Yes, sir, absolutely correct. Stop acting like a kid on Xmas morning just because some hot chick said yes.

 

[Don_Dom]

Great post. To add to it, I can't remember if it was in the old DJ Bible (havent read all of the new one) or if I read it someplace else, but it has been suggested to work out a couple/few hours before a date. You will be relaxed and feel good and it should help your confidence, which will show on your date.

Question, bigneil....can you elaborate on #14 a bit as it relates to the next date?

 

[bigneil]

I'd like to add to the list:

Be the first to end the date.
Escort the young lady to her vehicle.
Kiss her goodnight.
Do not say, "I'll call you." You'll know by then if she's interested, and she'll likely ask you to stay in touch.

I agree with all of these also. Especially ending it first and ESPECIALLY when you don't want it to end! I did this recently with the one girl and she was talking about how "I just had to go in that night" it for the next 3 dates.

Great post. To add to it, I can't remember if it was in the old DJ Bible (havent read all of the new one) or if I read it someplace else, but it has been suggested to work out a couple/few hours before a date. You will be relaxed and feel good and it should help your confidence, which will show on your date.

Question, bigneil....can you elaborate on #14 a bit as it relates to the next date?

Yes - always do at least 25 push ups before the date - ideally more - and some chin-ups too. Just don't get all sweaty.

On #14 - Listening, that is probably the easiest and most important of all. When you listen you will naturally be preoccupied and will fidget less. It's especially bad to fidget when she's talking as it suggests you are restless for her to shut up. But also, when you listen, she will tell you all sorts of things, like her favorite band, favorite food, favorite movie, and you can be prepared the next time. Having her favorite appetizer, Bluray/DVD or CD when she shows up for the next date - and surprising her with it by letting her discover it - especially when she doesn't remember telling you - is huge. It's probably the most cost effective way to guarantee a great memory for her. Just don't do them all on the same date - do them one by one, and not on every date. Encourage her to talk about these things by simply asking "What movies/food/music do you like?" and let her keep talking.

Remember: she should do 70% of the talking.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I just wanted to add the make sure you have a blood alcohol content of 0.121

 

[pdx1138]

I think of other things and do the breathing on my way so I'm not nervous when we first meet.

My palms have a tendency to get clammy so I always make sure to wipe them good just
in case they offer a hand.

Worked last sunday.

Even when I was nervous prior to doing that, I'd always be calm after the first minute.
It's just that first in person introduction and the time/anticipating leading up to it that caused it.

I've never had trouble with the eye contact.

You didn't mention it but dressing well helps boost one's confidence and goes a long way, though
that should be obvious.

And make no mistake about it, THEY are just as nervous or possibly more than you are. Unless
they've already friendzoned you without saying so.

I recall one date mentioning how nervous she was and yet I was as calm as ever.

 

[bigneil]

You didn't mention it but dressing well helps boost one's confidence and goes a long way, though
that should be obvious.

That's another good point. I've dressed up for so long now I forget that I'm doing it, but once you get your style down, it's one less thing to worry about.

 

[VladPatton]

How about ending it at the peak? Yep. Right when things are going great, both laughing, you stand up and say "ok, well I have to get going, can I give you a ride?" She'll be like WTF and crave another date.

Oh the many times I dragged shıt out too long. Not good.

 

[dvjackson]

Just don't overdo it to the point where you come off as boring. Some guys can pull off the whole cool, collected, detached attitude but I think the image of that guy is emphasized too much sometimes, and the value of being energetic and engaging is downplayed.
It's not enough for her to feel comfortable around you. Friends are comfortable around each other. She also needs to feel excited.

 

[visions]

another quality post