the #1 mistake guys make

[joekerr31]

ok guys, here it is. the number 1 mistake that guys make is thinking that women DONT know what they are doing.

basically 80% of being an AFC is thinking that women DONT know what they are doing.

and thats one element of hte DJ bible i have to disagree with. this notion that women dont think, they emote.

BULLSH*T.

the moment you accept that women aren't just acting out randomly based on emotion, but rather their actions are the result of deductive strategies to get what they want, suddenly it becomes very very easy to figure out which women to keep and which to throw away.

now, before people jump all over me for this one let me clarify something. Im not saying they sit there hatching plans. Yes, their reactions to events may be almost instinctual, conditioned responses, but they don't do what they do because of emotion, they do what they do because they've learned that it works.

they are doing what they are doing ON PURPOSE.

so many guys once they've taken on the protector role complete excuse almost all a womans behavior as - emotional. she doesn't know what shes doing, what shes feeling, blah blah blah. she needs time to sort herself out. etc.

guess what guys, she DOES know what shes doing. Just becuase she doesnt articulate it to you, or can't articulate it to you, doesn't mean that she's not in control of her actions and behaviors.

if guys could just make that mental shfit into holding a woman accountable for her actions, instead of excuse women because they are "emotional" they'd get to the "one" a lot quicker.

I don't know how we ended up with this society of males that basically feel women aren't accountable for anything they do. it's absurd.

and as long as guys think that way, guess what, women will continue to kick you in hte nuts and leave you for other guys and smile as they do it.

J

 

[WestCoaster]

Good stuff

Good post, that's why doing AFC-opposite stuff throws them off. Many a guy has grovelled back to a woman (including your's truly, wish I could erase that from the memory banks), or done something stupid.

What REALLY throws women off is walking away (as noted here) and the biggie: suddenly dating or going out with another woman. When the woman sees you with another woman, they're stunned, thrown for a loop, and speechless.

When women dump a guy, they automatically think he's whining like a baby in his room ... sadly, many are.

The times I've moved on quickly women are just floored -- one ex-gf told me she thought I'd hurt a little after being dumped (I hurt, but I didn't show it). She was amazed how quick I rebounded. This is one thing women have no answer for and no thought patterns at all to understand it. They're speechless when they see the man moving on, they just can't believe that the guy could bounce to another so quickly.

Women do think, the key is to outthink them. Another thing the DJ Bible doesn't address is not just moving on to another woman, but be SEEN with this other woman. It is sweet revenge!

 

[LJC]

I've always gotten the impression that women think they know what they are doing. That is, until they are proven wrong.
Man, do they hate that.

I've had the same experience as Westcoaster. Girl dumped me thinking I would sulk over it... until she ran into me at a party a week later with another woman on my lap. All of the sudden she was all nice, trying to isolate me, asking me over to pick up some trivial little thing I left behind which I could have cared less about.

Didn't seem to matter she dumped me because she thought I was cheating on her. Pretty wierd behavior.

 

[djzulu]

Does it matter if they know what they're doing?

The question is - does it matter if they truly know what they are doing?

I don't think it should matter. We have to react in a certain way whether they are oblivious of the causes that lead to their actions or are trying to achieve some predefined goal.

If we don't want to get hurt - we have to dodge the bullet - we can analyze why the bullet was fired, but to survive we must act first.

Same with women - our automatic response mechanism will be triggered and we should know exactly what to do (and this website is great for someone wishing to construct / improve his automatic response mechanism )

We can always analyze later - and I used to sit analyzing women for days, until a couple of years ago when I changed my stragegy - I just stop analyzing and move on.

A couple of weeks ago a girl that I was dating for a couple of months and I had an argument. She was being very argumentative and biatchy, and I was trying to calm things down without any success. So what did I do? I just drove her home - and told her to get out of the car. It was a hard thing to do at the time, but I just did it.

The very same day I went to the gym and took the # of a girl I just met that I am dating now . So instead of sitting at home for hours analyzing why she was acting weird, and how I was wrong, or what should I do to prevent that kind of attitude - I stopped analyzing and moved on. I didn't focus on her intentions, but just reacted to the outcome, in that case - my rationale was screaming NEXT!!!

 

[WestCoaster]

Re: Does it matter if they know what they're doing?

Originally posted by djzulu
A couple of weeks ago a girl that I was dating for a couple of months and I had an argument. She was being very argumentative and biatchy, and I was trying to calm things down without any success. So what did I do? I just drove her home - and told her to get out of the car. It was a hard thing to do at the time, but I just did it.

The very same day I went to the gym and took the # of a girl I just met that I am dating now . So instead of sitting at home for hours analyzing why she was acting weird, and how I was wrong, or what should I do to prevent that kind of attitude - I stopped analyzing and moved on. I didn't focus on her intentions, but just reacted to the outcome, in that case - my rationale was screaming NEXT!!!

Awesome stuff, classic! This is a great example of moving on and not putting up with B.S. -- freaking textbook!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Way to go Brother!



Karma

 

[Kaine]

Joekerr said:
"if guys could just make that mental shfit into holding a woman accountable for her actions, instead of excuse women because they are "emotional" they'd get to the "one" a lot quicker. "


You are correct women should be accountable for her actions, as with anyone. However one of the fundamental differences is the womens focus on her emotions and the IMPORTANCE she places on them on any given day. This is just one thing that needs to be dealt with, just like the fact that one day it may rain. Although it makes no sense to us, but this is nature. When she is experiencing extreme emotion you can be sure she will be inclined to act on it. When we hear she is confused, she is probably experiencing multiple streams of emotions on a tiltering balance without any one overriding one.


Ironically emotions are the same means in which we seduce woman but at the same time her sensitivity to these are the things that drive her to action in ways that may be detrimental to relationships (or act in ways in which find attractively feminine). I think this is biologically related, the more femaled brained she is, the more emotional she is likely to be.


It is trully fustrating, but a woman will justify her actions because she was feeling this or that. "I was upset at you, thats why!". She gives responsibility to her emotions. Logically to us that line of explanation would not hold up in court of law. You can't beat a man to death and justify it just because you felt angry at the given moment, but that's how chicks instinctively tick it over in their heads.


That been said, we can
1. Include in our qualification as best we can those women who have an outstanding personality i.e. highselfesteem, giving, good values etc.
2. Lead her emotions
3. Remain cool


Kaine

 

[legolas]

This is a different angle, but David D. took this one to the extreme almost saying that guys had no idea what was going on, meaning that they were dumb and stupid, and women knew exactly what was going on, they could smell douchebags from ten miles away, which is a load of horsesh*t if you ask me. It may be true that women are tuned in to their intuition more then men, but they aren't these supercreatures who have the ultimate price. They only have half of it LOL

Maybe this helps him to keep customers hanging around by playing to their fears/insecurities just like the rest of the advertising industry, and setting them up for future purchases of books/CDs/DVDs and courses/