The #1 Element of Dating: Talking about HER

[bigneil]

I've noticed that something is missing from nearly all SS topics lately: the concept of focusing the conversation on the woman you are with.

People's favorite subject is always themselves. When you are with a woman your focus is supposed to be on her. Getting her to talk about herself.

You might be overlooking a major hardship in your woman's life that she wants to talk about but feels awkward initiating. You also might focus on your previous relationship's shortcomings instead of concentrating on the current moment with your new lady.

As a general rule, let her do 70% of the talking. Use a portion of your 30% to a) answer questions and b) steer the conversation back to her and away from negative topics.

The things she says provide the seeds for future questions and conversations, and you can seamlessly apply things you learn such as her favorite songs and foods on the next date. When you eventually provide her with (small) gifts, they are tailored to her.

"In seduction, the focus is on her." - Louis/Copeland

 

[jglide123]

Absolutely true.

This is one of the key takeaways from Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Actually, you could use a lot of the material in that book to seduce women, not to simply make friends.

Also, I think guys focus too much on tactics and techniques rather than mastering how to hold simple conversations....

 

[oscarxp25]

100% true

The book is a great read. Anyone on this site should take a look at it.


It is cold to say, but women really don't give a **** about what you have to say. They love hearing themselves talk. I used to make the same rookie mistakes and always try to talk about myself. After a while, I realized there interest level would dip when I was talking about myself but ascend back up when I started asking questions about her. It keeps the mystery about yourself.

It is like Oz says in American Pie..

"All you have to do is ask them a bunch of questions and ****"