That word: CREEP - How NOT to be it?

[rickyo]

So I've done my searching, looking high and low on the internet to not be labeled as a "creep," to no avail.

It's just one of those words that anyone can seem to throw around and once your labeled, you're done.

This is one of the reasons I had to leave one of my old colleges: everyone started coining me CREEP to the point where girls would just walk away from me the second they saw me.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I dress well, take care of myself, work out and the like. I'm pretty normal, socially, yet still, always the "creep."

I don't know what to do. The word is making me not want to try anymore. It's just undermining everything about my masculinity, turning it into something perverted and wrong.

Anyone have any advice?

 

[DonJuan11]

So I've done my searching, looking high and low on the internet to not be labeled as a "creep," to no avail.

It's just one of those words that anyone can seem to throw around and once your labeled, you're done.

This is one of the reasons I had to leave one of my old colleges: everyone started coining me CREEP to the point where girls would just walk away from me the second they saw me.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I dress well, take care of myself, work out and the like. I'm pretty normal, socially, yet still, always the "creep."

I don't know what to do. The word is making me not want to try anymore. It's just undermining everything about my masculinity, turning it into something perverted and wrong.

Anyone have any advice?

You are not telling us the whole story. You must be doing something not normal and part of society that's making them say this. If you were acting like James Bond they wouldn't be calling you a "creep".

We need examples of your interactions.

 

[rickyo]

This one time this girl was getting up in my face about a dispute I got into the previous evening with another person. Like, really, really really up in my face - to the point where it seemed like she wanted to kiss me (I didn't, tho) I tried to turn it on its ear and say that she looks really cute when she's trying to prove a point. Anyway, I ask her for her number, she says no, asks me out for a cigarette, I say sure.

She shakes my hands, says, let's be friends, I turn and walk away, she follows me back to the party.

Next day at lunch I sit next to her only to be asked to leave by a friend of hers.

I ask what's up, she says "You cornered me, creep." And my rep was done from there on out.

???

 

[rickyo]

I know about dating advice and not caring what the other person is supposed to think, but it's basically the same term as "leper" used oh so many years ago.

I'm just, I'm sick of it. :cuss:

 

[rickyo]

Bump? Anyone could possibly give me a definition so I could try not to be it?

 

[RedZone]

All I can say is that you have to be yourself and just act naturally cool...I guess I can see how saying she is cute and asking for her number when having a dispute is a little weird but its kinda weak that they are using this against you...I have to admit there has been times where I def came off strange or weird, but happens to everybody at some point. Just don't let it get to you and move on

 

[DJDamage]

Are you comfortable in your own skin?! If you don't feel good or confident about yourself then you are going to show that with your behaviour.

Are you a social person?! if you don't interact with people on a consistent enough basis then it will be difficult to feel at ease with people when you do end up talking to them.

When you look at people, do you stare?! do you look in them at the eyes for too long?? or not long enough?!

when you talk to people are you being too serious or too happy?

Do you have a fashion sense?! do you take pride at the way you dress or look or have the same cheap looking cloths for years?! have people compliment you on the way you dress? do you get fashionable haircuts?!

 

[Scion]

I know how the OP feels, I've never been called a creep but sometimes I get the feeling that I've been labeled as one. I could just be paranoid mind you.

 

[garruk]

i know how you feel too. ive never been called a creep but reading PUA stuff and smoking too much weed has me overanalyzing stuff to the point where i get paranoid about how others perceive me too.


to the OP: generally creeps are the guys at parties who stand off to the side looking at girls. think the wallflower at a club.

im in a fraternity and so im forced to interact with a fair share of unimpressive and boring sorority girls sometimes. from what ive gathered, if you go to a party with very few friends/acquaintances of your own without being very outgoing, youll probably seem like a creep.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

So I've done my searching, looking high and low on the internet to not be labeled as a "creep," to no avail.

I don't know how this might help, but it's odd, because one of my most often used ways of getting a girl's interest is to call her creepy.

Example: I'm having a beer in a bar, there's 4 seats open on each side of me and a girl sits down with only one empty seat between us. I'll wait a minute or two, look over, and be kind of ****y with a "you're creeping me out a bit with all these empty seats available" type comment.

Of course, she sat that close (but not too close) for someone to talk to or whatever but she'll always launch into explanations of how she's not creepy and really a great person, I'm already Gold as well as higher status.

Maybe that's why I'm not called creepy, because I've already called "shotgun" with the word?

 

[horaholic]

DJDamage is on the right track in the sense that how you act is how others will perceive you in the present moment. The truth is though.. the only person who can label you a creep is yourself man. As long as you feel like a creep.. you'll be creepy. However, you're not a creep and you belong. Everybody belongs.. we're all apart of the universe and what makes us valuable is our uniqueness. So express that sh*t and don't worry what others think about it. Read on -
.

Im gonna have to disagree here. Not in this situation, anyway 'Creep' is strictly other peoples perceptions. Noone realizes they're creepy. Creepy is a demeanor that people have sometimes, that they dont realize. Being a creep is not an action. Creeps are not bad people in any way, they just come off the wrong way.

The closest thing to a definition I can think of is when your presence, or demeaner unintentionally makes women uncomfortable around you.

Some of the signs are:

-Staring too much, too intensely, or with too serious of a look on your face is probably the biggist example. People who unconsciously do this have a look on their face like they are a serial killer or something. Smile more, but in a lighthearted way. Be COMFORTABLE to be around, and observe others reaction to you. Also, avoid having 'beady eyes.' If your eyes dart around a lot, it makes you look shifty. This is something I do too much of myself, especially when I'm an a bar, and none of my friends are around. I tend to look all over the room a lot. Thats bad. Confident people dont do that.

-invasion of personal space. Creepy people tend to get up close and personal before they have earned the right to do so. This can also apply to conversation. If you arent established enough with someone, and you ask too personal of questions, or just weird questions in general. You ever met that guy who you barely know, but acts as if you are 'bro's,' doing, and saying things to you that are ok for your friends to say, but not strangers?
When a guy does this to a woman, its ten times worse.

inapropraiate comments- this is borderlining on sleazy. I know a guy who is super cool, but too many beers in him, and he turns into creepy guy with his comments. Every time a chick says something, he turns it into something sexual. Not that this is a bad thing, but he does WAY too much of it, and does it in a sleazy way. Think Quagmire, to get an example.

Being 'handsy.' This is too much touching and kino when a girl is not interested in you.

And sometimes, people just have that 'look.'

It has nothing to do with your clothes, or hair, or anything. I dont even know if there is anything you can do about it, except be aware of other peoples comfort level around you, and make mental notes about what not to do or say. Despite what Phat Rabbit says, you cannot label yourself creepy. Girls do that for you.


The messed up thing about all of this, is if the girl was attracted, none of the above things would matter. In fact, Those are things a man is supposed to do, but they have to be calibrated correctly, and you need to be aware of how women are responding to you in your everyday life. I do creepy things, but girls like it because they find me attractive. I ask chicks to show me their tits, and I motorboat girls all the time, but I can get away with it, cuz I do it in a 'cute' way. Or maybe Im delusional, and they call me a creep behind my back. I dont know. There is a fine line between being unapologetically sexual, and creepy. Its al about OBSERVATION of others around you.

I hope this helps. It is very important that you figure out the things you're doing that they find creepy, cuz that is the most unattractive thing ever. If they had attraction for you, they wouldnt mind it, but if they dont, and they call you creepy to another girl, you just got blown out there.

BTW, the best way to cokblock another guy, is to call him creepy to that girl. It puts an image that is very hard to shake.

You might want to seriously ask these girls exactly what it is about you that they find creepy, cuz that is not what you want them to think, and.

Good luck.

 

[spinaroonie]

I don't know how this might help, but it's odd, because one of my most often used ways of getting a girl's interest is to call her creepy.

Example: I'm having a beer in a bar, there's 4 seats open on each side of me and a girl sits down with only one empty seat between us. I'll wait a minute or two, look over, and be kind of ****y with a "you're creeping me out a bit with all these empty seats available" type comment.

Of course, she sat that close (but not too close) for someone to talk to or whatever but she'll always launch into explanations of how she's not creepy and really a great person, I'm already Gold as well as higher status.

Maybe that's why I'm not called creepy, because I've already called "shotgun" with the word?

Clever. As social creatures, girls are very sensitive to violations of social etiquette. Calling out girls on social faux pas is a clever neg. She'll instantly qualify herself.

Tip - if a girl in a bar acts hostile to your cold approach, respond with "No need to be rude ladies, it's a social environment. ***** shield down. :yes:

 

[IamMe]

Try not to smother anyone lmao.
Dont give any one person too much attention every time you see them.
You can pretend not to notice them when they cross paths with
you unless they say hi to you first.