That damn phone call

[slims999]

I'm certainly not the ideal "jerk" that women crave over, but nor am I an AFC. I'm kinda in between. I can talk to women well, make em laugh, tease em, flirt with em, but I can never sound like a man on the phone.

I'm always like "well uh... what do you wanna do?" or... "Hmm well we can either go here or here."

I suppose the best thing to do is to confidently say "Let's go to BJ's tonight, be ready at 8" right??

How do you fellow DJ's set up the date to where she doesnt wanna go out with anybody BUT you??

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by slims999
I suppose the best thing to do is to confidently say "Let's go to BJ's tonight, be ready at 8" right??

You just gave your own answer. Think about where you wanna take her before you call. Never assume she has a good idea. She might have, but just never assume.

 

[ChesterB]

You should prepare yourself briefly before you call: Think about what you want to say, possible reactions of hers and how you are going to react then.
Take a deep breath and call.

BTW, recently, I don't tell them on the phone what we're going to do, I just say, "Hey, do you have time at (day x)? OK, then let's meet at (some place in the city, like in front of a famous statue or so)."

 

[coldcoal]

I think your original question was already answered, but here's something a little extra if you're interested.

I've learned that it can be effective to give your date a little chore to accomplish before the date, for the date itself.

What I do is learn what hobbies and interests my potential date likes. After some trial and error I've learned to accomplish this before the first call, essentially during the pick up. Reason being that it's hard to whip up a plan and an appropriate chore on the spot right there on the phone.

The last girl I chatted with and # closed, for example, liked jazz, drank wine and talked about the outdoors quite a bit. I had several days to think and like the others have suggested, already knew what we were going to do. When I called her, I arrainged the conversation so that I could pin down an appropriate time for the date, but didn't tell her what the date actually was. I then gave her a simple chore, which was to find by any means a red and white checkered blanket. I then told her to what time I would pick her up and the appropriate attire to wear, to bring the blanket and to let me know which of the two colors she picked before the date. Red it was.

The topic of the phone conversation was interesting enough to avoid any silences, guided enough not to have to think, while being playful and mysterious enough to keep a high IL.

Anyway, we found a shady spot under an oak tree, sprawled out on the blanket listening to jazz and drinking the red wine she unknowingly (or knowingly) chose. Nothing romantic! No flattery and all that crap... just relaxing with the usual get to know you chit chat. Very casual. She really enjoyed it. Cost me $25 tops.

But it doesn't matter what the date is really, do your own thing, so long as she has a simple chore and keeps wondering. I'm pretty sure they get a little pow wow going with the girlfriends to try to guess what the mystery date is. The inanimate object probibly served as a reminder of me too.

I haven't perfected this yet. I'm sure I'll hit a few monkey-wrenches eventually, like a girl who is, in the above example, allergic to red wine or can't find a blanket or something, which is why I suggest an easy chore, but one that still requires a little initiative. But it worked pretty good and made that first call the easiest part.

 

[splinterkb]

It sounds to me like you know what you need to do, but are questioning yourself to do it or not. Instead of asking, come off as more authoritarian (telling her instead of asking her everything). This should solve your dilemma.

 

[Duke]

I'm still working on my game out on 'the field', but if there's one thing I have definitely perfected, it is the phone-call.

Start off with light fluff. Find out what she's doing at the moment. Stay CF. If she says "Uhh, nothing... watching TV" or something similar to that, say, "Hot damn! Watching TV! You sure are living life in the fast lane!" She'll laugh. Then continue, "I'm going to rescue you from TV hell. Come with me to ___ tomorrow." At this point she'll agree or object. If she agrees, ask her what time would suit her better: 7:00 or 8:00. The point is to give her a voice in the whole business but to guide her with the options that you give her.

DO NOT EXPECT HER TO PLAN ANYTHING EVER. Call with a plan. Fluff to start off with. When you invite her out, make it sound like its going to be fun!. If she asks "What are we doing?" you don't wanna sit there on the phone and be like "Uhhh... I thought we would maybe watch a movie...you know...if that's cool with you."

BAH! Be freakin enthusiastic. Don't ask for her permission ever! Be like "We're gonna catch a flick! What are you down for? Troy or The Chronicles of Rid****?" (Again, you guide her with options.) If she says "I don't care" then you get to choose.

Most importantly, LEAVE HER WANTING MORE. At the height of the enthusiasm, tell her that you gotta jet and leave with a witty remark. If you're going bowling then you could say, "Bring some tissues for tomomorrow because you're gonna need them after I smoke you tomorrow." If its a movie or something generic like that, then you could be like "Now be ready on time cuz I got people to do!" Just something CF that she won't really expect. DONT BE PREDICTABLE-- IT IS BORING!!!!!!!

In summary:

-Stay CF the whole time. It should permeate the entire conversation and get her laughing!
-Fluff to start
-Don't beat around the bush! Be direct and assertive!
-Do not ASK HER for permission to do anything!!
-When you invite her, make it a statment. Eg: "Let's do this!" NOT "Would you like to do this?"
-BE ENTHUSIASTIC. Sound like you want to have fun and you are just inviting her along for a great ride. It's not about HER. It's about what the two of you will be doing! Even if you just want to see a movie at her place to isolate her, be like "OMG, this movie is SO great! Have you seen it? EVERYONE should see this before they die." Heh. It's a heck of a lot better than saying "Um this movie isn't great, but I want to go to your house to fukk you."
-Leave on a high note! And if at all possible, DON'T talk to her before you see her the night of the date. Make her anticipate you!

That's it! Sets you up for a great outing. If you have anymore questions, just ask.

-Duke