"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Thank you sosuave.

Stéphane

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Well, before I found sosuave I always had low self esteem issues, and I always questioned my looks. Because, I couldn't understand why girls wouldn't like me, people just told me to be yourself, and that only made me feel worst because been myself didn't make the girls like me any more. I figured that something must be wrong with me, it must be my looks, because logically I wanted to f*ck all the hot girls, and I didn't understand why hot girls wouldn't f*ck me. So I assumed that I must be ugly. Well, since I found sosuave my sucess went through the roof, and that been yourself is the worst advice ever.

I thank you sosuave, and it's members for helping me through my journey.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Evolution

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LeComteDeMonteCristo said:
Congratulations on your success. But can you explain to me how "be yourself" is the worst advice ever?
If "being yourself" isn't getting you laid, then somethings gotta give.
 

Stéphane

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Because if you suck with women, and your been yourself the whole time the person assumes he's just doom for failure. You need to develop basic skills before you can go out in the battlefield.
 

Huffman

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It means first becoming something really good, then being your new self.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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DavenJuan

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Stéphane said:
Well, before I found sosuave I always had low self esteem issues, and I always questioned my looks. Because, I couldn't understand why girls wouldn't like me, people just told me to be yourself, and that only made me feel worst because been myself didn't make the girls like me any more. I figured that something must be wrong with me, it must be my looks, because logically I wanted to f*ck all the hot girls, and I didn't understand why hot girls wouldn't f*ck me. So I assumed that I must be ugly. Well, since I found sosuave my sucess went through the roof, and that been yourself is the worst advice ever.

I thank you sosuave, and it's members for helping me through my journey.
I am glad that SS has helped you however i have to bring up this "be yourself" issue.

i dont think you quite understand what this means.

trying to be something you are not to get, impress, etc women is not what you should be trying to accomplish.

you should ALWAYS be yourself. iregardless if yourself means..

playing video games, building stick figures, collecting rocks, being a trecke' ...

you get the point. be YOURSELF.

now of course most ppl who come to this site need some form of guidance in their life. they are struggling with women, some with self esteem issues, some that have social anxiety, etc.

now be yourself does not mean ACCEPT what you are and fall complacent with your daily routine.

think about this..

UGLY, NERDY, UNATTRACTIVE, BORING, DORKY, USELESS, are all just words. it doesnt make you WHO you are. take 100 ppl and line them up.
if ONE out of all of these people dont think you are ugly, then guess what, your not ugly.

same with every other characteristic that you may THINK you fall into.

so what i am trying to get at is when you THINK of yourself a certain way, then you BECOME that of what you think.

you THINK you are ugly, cant get sex, useless ...then thats what you are

you THINK you are smooth, charasmatic, charming, ...then thats what you are.

..and the most importatn thing to remember, is always work on improving yourself. that doesnt mean be someone else.

i
 

fireguy

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Being yourself isn't just being yourself. Being yourself is about inner game. It's becoming the greatest guy you can be by improving your personality traits and the way you feel about yourself. Not portraying some (fake) persona by using prewritten routines and scripts ment to manipulate people into liking you. It's about gaining confidence by accumilating success on success in different aereas of life. It's about learning how to be social and comfortable talking with people by practicing. And being social with anybody, not just girls. And learning to actually care about people. It's getting your values straight living by them. I bet you dont even now your own values. And what do you do when you're in a relationship and she gets to know the real you? Is she gonna see you as fake and dump you? I could go on and on, but I think you get what I'm saying. Being yoursel isnt being yourself from TODAY. It's an ever evolving prosess of self development. You won't need all the mystery, c&f crap and all that.
 

Stéphane

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fireguy said:
Being yourself isn't just being yourself. Being yourself is about inner game. It's becoming the greatest guy you can be by improving your personality traits and the way you feel about yourself. Not portraying some (fake) persona by using prewritten routines and scripts ment to manipulate people into liking you. It's about gaining confidence by accumilating success on success in different aereas of life. It's about learning how to be social and comfortable talking with people by practicing. And being social with anybody, not just girls. And learning to actually care about people. It's getting your values straight living by them. I bet you dont even now your own values. And what do you do when you're in a relationship and she gets to know the real you? Is she gonna see you as fake and dump you? I could go on and on, but I think you get what I'm saying. Being yoursel isnt being yourself from TODAY. It's an ever evolving prosess of self development. You won't need all the mystery, c&f crap and all that.
Dude, did you even read my post I explained why been yourself is crappy advice. If youself is a low self esteem, no confidence chump then been yourself is worthless advice.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Poonani Maker

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I know whatchu mean. Not even lesbian bulldike man-haters can phase me these days. These are the worst because they think they know it all and like to fvck with ANY man in their vicinity's mind. Happened today, I was just makin small talk, she'd mentioned to her friend standing beside me something about a girl who was killed in an avalanche last week and I said that I knew that girl, and both of these dikes treated me as if I was a liar, as if I didn't know anything about the dangers of avalanches, just everything I said I felt like this vibe was coming from them that I'm MAN, I'm scum, get away from me, and they left very quickly, like a rejection of my company. I was like wtf, they were there yapping for like 20 mins next to me, I open my mouth, and they treat me with hatred (ooooh, the male opened his mouth how dare he) and walk off. So fvckin rude these dykes.
 
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I went from being the AFCist of the AFC's, to building a stable of hotties and getting laid on a regular basis. My worst memory is CRYING and BEGGING my ex girlfriend to come back years ago, and she basically laughed at me. She wasn't even all that. I wasted 2 years of my life sitting around and moping over her. Somebody shoot me.

But she is the reason I found this place and I have been studying this material ever since. I consider sosuave my college education. Now I am moving on to the graduate school and writing my master thesis.
 

MooseGod

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Stéphane said:
Dude, did you even read my post I explained why been yourself is crappy advice. If youself is a low self esteem, no confidence chump then been yourself is worthless advice.
If that is how you are, then you are not being yourself. You are reacting to what society has told you, or what you have perceived that they told you. "Yourself" would be who you were when you were a little kid, before puberty and 'maturity' set in and you started over analyzing your life and taking everything too seriously.
 

Interceptor

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Be Yourself means a persn who doesn't have to hide his insecurities.
He has Self Esteem becauee he recognizes his Self Worth.
No masks' or 'personas". Just yourSELF shining through.


Go on about accomplishing your Mission.

This will build your self esteem and confidence.When you have gained a sufficient amount, then you will build Courage, then you will go OUTSIDE your Comfort Zones.
And "BE YOURSELF"...........
 

KarmaSutra

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Be Yourself is a catchall term also known as the easy answer. It doesn't take a damned bit of thought or contemplation for a brother to recommend to another: "Hey man, just be yourself and everything will be cool."

No it won't. How can it when there is no DIRECTIVE given? Making a statement strictly to spew words is a pointless and character assassinating endeavor. I wholeheartedly believe that when someone becomes a SoSuave Private they should write an essay on what it means to them to become a Wo/Man and at what lengths they'll go to become said Wo/Man.

Here is the definition of Be Yourself according to the Karmictionary:

Be Yourself:[bee] [yoor-self,] - The process by which you transition from ID type mentality (boy/girl) into SuperEgo (Wo/Man) mentality. This consists of using all of your faculties to thier utmost capabilities with the end result being a decision without regret.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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