"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Thank you sosuave and goodbye:)

mandoremay

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Nice guy, jerks, bad boys, women beaters, good guys. Every woman has dated these guys and the question always lingers in every males head? What do women want?

I took a day to actually think about where I succeeded with women and where I failed.
I looked to the origins of my past of how I went from a stupid afc to a kick azz man.

I think it all starts out when your in junior high…when women finally start to mean something to ya, and peer pressure, what kind of friends you have, how popular you are, these are the key years ,what mold you to the person you are today!

I remember in grade 8 calling this cute girl I had the hotz for and when she came to the phone and I asked her out….she shot me down. Talk about a bad start. My ego was bruised badly. That same year I remember this mean trick my so called friends and this girl I liked, played me. She pretended to like me, and my friends coaxed me to ask her out and they just used me for a laugh. When we went to the school dance she didn’t dance with me, it was like she was embarrassed of me. I felt like a fool. Our so called song came on and I sat in the chair watching her dance with the biggest prick in the school. i went home that night and looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I was a push-over, I let people use me to their benefit, I was always just the friend, nobody ever called me unless they needed something, but when I needed something nobody ever would do the same to help me, if I didn’t call anyone, nobody would have called me.
What was wrong with me…I needed to stop being that guy. I always cared what people thought of me, I always wanted to be popular, I wanted the prettiest girl in the school to go out with me. But none of those things were coming true. I had to let go!!!

But something magical happened that summer. Instead of just sitting around trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I had seen very strange things start to unfold.
I had watched my all of my sister’s behaviors around the men they dated and the tastes they had varied, but all almost the same outcome and fate.

Sister#1- she was dating a handsome nice guy…it only seemed logical that they were a great couple. He was nice, my parents loved him, he was smart, all of these things women say they look for in a man. two weeks later she dumped him. That didn’t make sense to me, so I had to investigate. I asked her why she dumped him and her answer…”he was to nice”…. I was thinking in my head, isn’t that what humans look for is someone to be nice to them. And her other answer was “we were better of as friends”.
Well it seems to me, isn’t friendship one of the foundations in a relationship. And her final answer….”he just wasn’t my type” ……but isn’t that what women say they want in a relationship is all the things he was…he was perfect…..I was baffled.

Sister#2- she was dating a dope smoking, no goals in life ,no job, bonified bad ass. My parents hated him, and he hated them. He didn’t care though. He wasn’t that good looking, and what did my sister see in him…she was madly in love with this scum bag. It didn’t make any sense. She had guys declaring their love for her on the phone every night, but she sat around waiting for bad boy to call and most times he didn’t call. She always complained about him, how she wished he was like handsome nice guy, to all of the guys she cried on the phone too….then bad boy called and she was like”gotta go, rick the pricks on the other line”. She was head over heels for this pile of dirt. Then one day he dumped her. She never got over him I think even to this day, cause he always comes up in stories to this day.

Sister#3- she dated this loud, thundering jock from the hockey allstar team. She felt honored going out with this guy, because every girl in the school wanted him. He had a nice truck, lots of friends, and was pretty much into himself and his hockey career. But underneath that exterior was a fierce woman beater. My sister would come home with bruises and just a complete wreck…but she still loved this guy. My parents turned a blind eye to the way he treated my sister because he was going somewhere in life. It must have been karma because one bad check into the board one game, he smashed his knee up so bad, that his hockey career was over. He was no longer, the sky in womens eyes, he wasn’t a jock no more, everybody didn’t want to be around him anymore cause they could see the real him now. My sister even jumped on the bandwagon and left his azz.
But I questioned if he still was doing hockey would my sister and his friends be with him still?

It seemed to me that being a nice guy was out of the question. Some of these traits these men displayed could be very useful. So fast forward to grade 9!!! I had become the biggest enemy teachers and principles hated. I was this joker in class, I didn’t care what people thought of me and detention and suspension became my second home. Soon I attracted the badboys(a.k.a-the guys with girlfriends) of the school. when I walked down the hallway I felt cool for once. Soon I started hearing girls had crushes on me. Soon people were calling me. What was happening??? How did I go from the biggest loser one year to everybody thinking I was somebody this year? At first I was emulating the badboy persona…now I was soon that person for real. Maybe that’s who I was really. I think we all have an inner badboy, but we bottle that part of us up, because we think it’s wrong to act like that….but how wrong was it to feel free. Do what I wanted as I pleased.
I had cool friends who respected me and I was a dating machine that was calling the shots. If I got bored of this or that girl, there was always some other girl that had a crush on me. I had never had girls call me up crying because they missed me. I was a scum and they were addicted. Highschool mentality of girls. They really love the jerks.

But like all stories go… there is a crash and burn part. The dreaded one-it is. The woman that can make you revert back to the miserable soul that you were. Their was this hot vixen who was number 1 on the list of every man in the school. the girl who was impossible to get. Fate would have it, she liked me. I felt the burn in my gut. I started questioning myself and started acting like a puss around her and like a de-magnet it pushed her away. I got ****y finally around her one day and asked her out. I won… I got the queen of the school. I’m the king baby.
So we were going out… and that’s when the woman changing scheme started coming into effect and like a love sick slave I obeyed. She asked me to change this and change that about myself. Stop getting kicked from school, stop drinking on week-ends, stop hanging with my loser friends. And like a fool I listened. After changing into everything she wanted me to be…she dropped me. All of that trouble for a woman and I lost everything. My friends were pissed at me, i couldn’t shake this girl from my mind…I was still in love with this girl and like the past…she began to use me. I made a mends with my friends to never ever let a girl come between us. But then when I got her out of my head…..she called me. Those sick feelings of love clouded me again. She said she wanted to give it a try again. I said I’d think about it.
I gave it some thoughts and went for another go…like a stupid fool.
My friends called me and I let them down because I had other plans with the queen bee.
I didn’t care. but something awoke in me again… It was Christmas time and my sister was dating another jerk and I tried giving her advice why she was addicted to him, and it hit me. The girl I’m dating is looking for the jerk. So I started spending more time with my friends, started doing my own thing and soon enough the girl I was trying to make love me, began to fall head over heels for me. Hell she even planned to lose her virginity to me. What was it about not letting a girl change a dam thing about you that attracts them even more to you. After doing her, I lost interest in this sick game. If I was nice to her, she distanced herself from me. The more I gave her a double dose of jerkyness she wanted to do everything for me. I learned one thing from the life of a jerk………I could never truly love this girl and treat her right.

As the years passed on….it seemed like the only way to truly get the 10 out of 10 was to treat them like garbage. Being ****y and arrogant seemed like the switch that flicked in their heads. I always heard girls say this” I always attract jerks, why can’t I find a nice guy.”…….i would just smirk and think that’s because that’s what your attracted to honey…now come give me some sugar. The more I watched these guys be jerks to these girls I would nod my head to these guys because they knew the score. And I also watched the nice guys fixing the girls cars out in the rain while she’s getting banged by the rick the pricks of this world upstairs. It’s funny how as people we have not evolved since the caveman/warrior days. That’s why women are attracted to gangster types and drug dealers and losers. Because they emulate that type of man in the past. These are men that can’t change and they never will. That is what attraction is back then and is still today. Or maybe not???
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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mandoremay

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Then I discovered sosuave. I lot of the questions and answers I always wondered about were discussed here. I’ve been here since the beginning of pook and all the old dj’s who have come and gone. Even the jerk theory was discussed and I thought hey that’s me. But then I seen some truly great posts in the bible and I thought about them and how could I apply them to my life. I had always got the good looking girls by being a jerk, but was that what I was truly looking for. Half the time I had nothing in common with these girls…these girls liked rap, going to bars, they never really lusted for adventure. But hey they were good looking and that’s all that mattered. But the more I thought about it, looks only lasted for about five months before I got bored and the spell wore off and I was looking for a new girlfriend. Then I came across a post talking about passion.

I thought what the hell…I’m taking a break from the dating scene and I started playing guitar. Soon my life started evolving around this guitar. I would get off work and come home and play it. Soon I started talking to musicians and jamming with them it was great. I had time to play all my videogames. Women took backseat to what I really loved. Then one night while playing the guitar at a party this cute girl approached me and I could tell she was attracted to me. But there was something different about this girl. We had the same interests. She liked rock n roll, she liked video games(trust me I quizzed her about this stuff.) man this girl was amazing. For once in my life I wasn’t acting like a jerk. When I started talking to her that I had rock n roll as the main goal in my life and nothing was every going to change that, she said just as long as she could come with me that would be just fine. And 3 and a half years later were still married and things are fantastic. My passion for rock n roll has made me stronger, and I’m not sitting around waiting for it to come to me. I’m going to America for it. I think one of the main goals that man have forgot, is we have learned to put women in the front seat and our passions in the backseat.. my life really hit full gear when I forgot about making someone else happy, I had my guitar and in the end, I feel alive.

Maybe that’s the mystery why women love musicians???
 

MacDiddy

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Mand: you sure your girls not bangin' someone else...?

Is this an illusion or after 12 post you think you've found the ultimate wisdom on women and life...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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lebRambo

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great post man.

It always makes me wonder when someone talks of leaving this site, what that person will be like 5 or 10 years later. I always wonder how much their visits to this site changed their lives. I mean, we are all physically removed from each other, all over the world. But, for a little bit of time, our lives all converged and someone across the ocean on the other side of the world meant something to you because you are joined by a common goal. Its like each of our lives is a strand of hair, and for a short distance, all the strands are weaved together before they are split apart again. sosuave is the weaver.
 

Swoop

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I hear what you are saying. Sometimes I feel like I have to explore my badboy side a bit. I have been too nice all my life. I am afraid to offend. I need to stop caring about what others think and feel and place more importance on what I feel and think. I am heading that direction and I hope I'll eventually find a passion in my life that takes over and lead me into meeting a girl who shares the same passion as well.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with us.
 

Mr Spitfire

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Take heed, this man knows of what he speaks. A MASTER DON JUAN.

This site is really turning into a cult. Break from the dogma and be branded a heretic to be feared and loathed.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Keeper

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Wow! I'm impressed mate. You're not like all the other sheep on this site. You've found your own success, which is probably greater than most othere DJ's' - and through being yourself.

That's also what I'm trying to do. Be more myself - because I'm not a natural born DJ. Whenever I display DJ like qualities I'm faking it. Sure, it gets you some pvssy - but that's not why I got into the game. :)

Good luck to yeh, mate.
 

fyrefly

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nice job, it is quite funny although very cool, that the girl that will rock your world is the one that will want you to be their nice guy, and won't ditch you for it.
 

Good_ol_boy

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Originally posted by MacDiddy
...Is this an illusion or after 12 post you think you've found the ultimate wisdom on women and life...
In case you didn't notice, he's been here longer than you. Maybe, he listened and learned, instead of being a post wh*** with thousands of posts!!
 

pimpfromdayone

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So, in conclusion, as someone once said,
"In a relationship, the person with the most power, is the one with the least interest."

A hot woman doesn't respect a man she can control, and she isn't attracted to them either. Therein lies the secret to most of the power "badboys" have. Couple that with some mystery, unpredictability, excitement, and of course high social status, and you have one powerful package.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pimpfromdayone

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Oh... let me add.... in writing that last post, I got a call from some woman from my college who helps with the administration or something, and I was intentionally co-cky, slightly rude, etc... and she actually told me I was the nicest guy she had called ever.... hahah.....Women are messed up....
 

comic_relief

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Originally posted by fyrefly
nice job, it is quite funny although very cool, that the girl that will rock your world is the one that will want you to be their nice guy, and won't ditch you for it.
I found one of them. So far, I have done all the AFC things but she is still with me. The one thing that sets me apart from all the AFC's out there is that I am actually having all the things in jerky behavior. I don't call all the time nor do I always listen to her about doing something.

She thinks that she has accomplished something incredible when she is getting me to grow my hair out. I told her if I don't like it that it will be gone as quick as quick can be. She knows that I ain't joking either. The only reason that I am growing my hair out is that she gave me the idea. I always wanted to see what my hair would look like grown out.

If she leaves, I still got my passions... ENOUGH ABOUT ME!!!

Mandorenay- Good luck in life but don't leave the site entirely. You have much information and could help us with married posts. Too many people have negative feelings about marriage but you are a success story so far.

Your post was quite informative and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It showed me once again that the DJ lifestyle is the best.

Comic_Relief
 

MacDiddy

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goodolboy wrote:
In case you didn't notice, he's been here longer than you. Maybe, he listened and learned, instead of being a post wh*** with thousands of posts!!


Trying to pull seniority now Ol'timer. Your rego date affords you no special privledges.

Ok, so my point being for the less initiated and slow is that a man needs to always be vigilant in order to continually please the girl via being a man, a DJ, successful, a tease, flirtatious, always being in control, focused, etc etc. But the point is to always be vigilant!!!!

And tho I'm not discouraging it, well wishing a dude only serves to create a false sense of security.
 

Q-Pid

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LoL MacDiddy is one of those overanalytical types. E-Thugs.

Nice story bro, glad to hear you played the game and came out on top. But it's not over yet. :)
 

wheelin&dealin

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You'll be back...

I took a 3 year leave of absence from this board but now I'm back and I have more motivation then ever before. Just try to leave this board! It's like an addictive drug that can improve your life in every aspect..

That's a beautiful fairytale ending to your story, but does the fact that you're married and happy now = marriage and happiness in the future? That's the equation you want the answer for. Self improvement is continuous, it doesn't stop when you find the perfect woman. Keep up the good work, and we'll see you back here in a few weeks! :)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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