"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Thank you for choosing Donald Trump!

backseatjuan

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Millions of people have chosen a great businessman with tremendous potential to make America great again, return the jobs, end wars, build bridges. Russia supports your choice. I support your choice.

I never thought that they will let Trump win. You did it!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

BetterCallSaul

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I never thought that a new day would come that I'd actually want our two countries to work more closely together, but the facts present themselves openly. Our nation wastes so much money on euro-socialist f*cktards who gladly take it and arrogantly look down their noses at us and demand we acquiesce to some new perceived requirement for trade or anything else they can dream up. The EU is no friend politically or economically to our nation and thankfully at least the UK seems to have some knowledge to recognize what's going on.

Globalist proponents are pure poison.
 

NSX-R

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I never thought that a new day would come that I'd actually want our two countries to work more closely together, but the facts present themselves openly. Our nation wastes so much money on euro-socialist f*cktards who gladly take it and arrogantly look down their noses at us and demand we acquiesce to some new perceived requirement for trade or anything else they can dream up. The EU is no friend politically or economically to our nation and thankfully at least the UK seems to have some knowledge to recognize what's going on.

Globalist proponents are pure poison.
"(Looking at Germany)"
 

logicallefty

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America has spoken. Trump winning is a big middle finger to the left and even many on the right, and it's funny as fvck.

My prediction now is that the left is going to get all choked up over the Electoral College system and try to change it. I say that cuz as of right now Hillary did win the popular vote... But not by much. Once the results for the State of Michigan are confirmed that could swing over to having Trump win the popular vote too. Which I hope happens so we don't have to hear the b|tching about the Electoral College for the next 4 or 8 years. I can't say I am even in full agreement with the Electoral College system. I think the popular vote should have it.. But the Electoral College is the system we have and Trump won the election legally and fair. And we will take it!! I see it as no different than Obama and his Executive Order power trips. Those I don't agree with either. But they were legal based on the rules in place at the time and Obama sure had no trouble giving Congress a middle finger as he signed them like a mad man.
 
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