"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Texting too much

FemPulley

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Ok so I have talked to girls online and on text and in general too. But I was wondering about how many times the Don has to start the conversation and not look like someone who is overtrying.

Like, if a girl seems to like me, I would expect her to keep texting for more. Except although they do show signs that they are interested in me - I often have to initiate conversation. Do girls genuinely wait for me to say something, or are not that interested.

Secondly, if I do start off the conversations wouldn't I seem desperate and subsequently a turn off? Or can you get away with starting all conversations with the girl and not seem desperate?

Thanks
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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LearningSlowly

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Here's a rule of thumb. If you see the girl regularly in person, you can get away with texting her more. Don't talk to her virtually more than you do in real life. If you feel like you don't see her much in real life, invite her out somewhere.
 

FemPulley

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LearningSlowly said:
Here's a rule of thumb. If you see the girl regularly in person, you can get away with texting her more. Don't talk to her virtually more than you do in real life. If you feel like you don't see her much in real life, invite her out somewhere.
Can you explain the rationale behind talking to her more in person than virtually?
Also, I do speak to girls who I only really have contact online due to distance; and they do seem to show some form of interest in me. Is there any rule of thumb of how to and how often to speak to them?
 

LearningSlowly

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FemPulley said:
Can you explain the rationale behind talking to her more in person than virtually?
It seems obvious to me. You can't get laid online. Only in person. If they are interested, they are interested in who you are in person, not online.

If they live far away, they aren't a realistic option and should be dropped.
 

thomasp

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hey, i have a question. should i ask this girl ive known for about 3 months now to hang out? the 1st time i asked her to hangout, it was way to early, and i was stupid >_< (we had been talking for like 2 weeks). but like last week i told her i need to talk with her and it was about something insignficant like anime (a show, i think). anyway, she said "idk whenever" but it turns out she was really busy that weekend :(. so im wondering if i should follow up this weekend and see if she can hang out. (because we dont really ever have time to talk in karate like ever). and since we're friends i feel like we need to acually talk with each other, u know? (not just via txting, like u said)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stingers

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thomasp said:
hey, i have a question. should i ask this girl ive known for about 3 months now to hang out? the 1st time i asked her to hangout, it was way to early, and i was stupid >_< (we had been talking for like 2 weeks). but like last week i told her i need to talk with her and it was about something insignficant like anime (a show, i think). anyway, she said "idk whenever" but it turns out she was really busy that weekend :(. so im wondering if i should follow up this weekend and see if she can hang out. (because we dont really ever have time to talk in karate like ever). and since we're friends i feel like we need to acually talk with each other, u know? (not just via txting, like u said)
Hey man, if youve known her for 3 months and still havent made a move then its probably too late. Since you mentioned you guys are friends i hate to say it but thats that harsh truth your stuck as a friend. From what you are saying she doesnt seem too interested. If i were you i would drop her and meet other women :down:
 

thomasp

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Stingers said:
Hey man, if youve known her for 3 months and still havent made a move then its probably too late. Since you mentioned you guys are friends i hate to say it but thats that harsh truth your stuck as a friend. From what you are saying she doesnt seem too interested. If i were you i would drop her and meet other women :down:
yea. i mean she has a bf so... But i mean im fine with friends, cuz shes still really cool, so i guess its fine.
 
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