Texting - Slippery slope - Here's a good tip

[tryst type]

Ok so I personally have limited the amount of text exchanges between a girl. For one of many reasons, it's very easy to lose ground and come across as needy/creepy/weird etc.

It's best to use texting as a planner to set up dates but for those who are still caught up in endless cyber chatter with the HBs who love to press keys all day, here's a good tip I recently shared with a co-worker who'd get overly excited texting with a girl and wind up giving off a creepy vibe:

-Pretend as if all her friends are looming over her shoulder reading your replies as well.

This guarantees you keep the exchange light and playful. Now if the convo steers into a little more risqué territory and she seems receptive, then play accordingly.

Any other tips you guys want to share? I think lots of guys can benefit from improving their text game. As I've said, best to only use it to set up dates.

 

[Boilermaker]

Aren't you generalizing a little bit?

If you are not a creepy/weird/needy guy at heart, don't worry about coming across like one. Texting is just another avenue for efficient communication and it's the new generation chick's preferred medium. When used properly, it can be extremely effective.

I agree with your later advice; but the point is if you write the text as if your friends are looming over your shoulder, you won't care about her friends looming over her shoulder either.

Don't take women so seriously. Think of them as another Iqqi.

 

[tryst type]

I'm just saying in the realm of texting it's very easy to misunderstand something with absence of emotion. Some guys get a boost of confidence texting and it can bleed into creepy territory. Lost in translation if you will.

 

[EastWind]

Texting is just another avenue for efficient communication and it's the new generation chick's preferred medium. When used properly, it can be extremely effective.

a) there's absolutely nothing efficient about texting save for the two texts it takes to set something up with a friend/acquaintance/girl/whathaveyou. All you end up doing is interrupting whatever you're doing for another twenty seconds before going back to another thirty seconds of unproductiveness because you're waiting for a reply. At least over the phone you can get the topic over with and get back to something worthwhile.

b) who cares if it's chicks' preferred medium? You wouldn't buy a pink Renault Mégane if it was every chick's preferred car to drive around in. You wouldn't start painting your toenails just because it's a chick's preferred means of past-time.

Remember that if a chick texts you a lot, she's texting a lot of other people a lot (not only guys) and that's something you'll have to put up with in one form or another. Is that really what you want?

The OP makes a good and valid point, but my main point is that texting is really a chick thing.

 

[SecondHalf]

Makes you too available.
Eliminates mystery if you get wired to it.

Nothing but problems for a steady.

However, if it's e-forplay for a pump and dump or temp plate, then sure, build her up, save some time.

SH

 

[Boilermaker]

All you end up doing is interrupting whatever you're doing for another twenty seconds before going back to another thirty seconds of unproductiveness because you're waiting for a reply.

Only if you wait for a reply, like a desperate loser and can't prioritize your own time. But that's your problem.
And don't tell me you are being productive every 20 seconds of your life. Is that your excuse? Texting reduces your productivity?

b) who cares if it's chicks' preferred medium? You wouldn't buy a pink Renault Mégane if it was every chick's preferred car to drive around in. You wouldn't start painting your toenails just because it's a chick's preferred means of past-time.

Wait, I for one am trying to bang chicks, so it makes a huge difference if I tune to their more familiar medium for communication, yes. 9 times out of 10 a chick will feel uncomfortable to talk to you on the phone, if you just met her.

But they may have no problem texting, so it does reduce flaking frequency.


If you wait for a response like a puppy every time you send a text out, that's a different story.
My text conversations are usually dispersed throughout the day. Because I have a life, and I can't attend to a text for hours sometimes. Works like a charm for me. Because it's unintentionally delayed.

Remember that if a chick texts you a lot, she's texting a lot of other people a lot (not only guys) and that's something you'll have to put up with in one form or another. Is that really what you want?

Why do I care who she texts ? I have only one objective and that's to bang her. Why do I care about who she talks to? Are you in high-school or something? Are you jealous of her girl-friends, too?


OP had some points, but way too general to be true. You may not know how to use a tool but it doesn't make the tool useless. It just makes you an idiot because you didn't put the time to figure it out.

 

[tryst type]

Texting is a waste of time period. If you like putting in loads of work to get laid then go for it. If a girl doesn't want to meet up or feels uncomfortable unless you incessantly text her than you haven't created enough attraction initially and the more you try to via text, no matter how good your "game" is using that tool, you'll only come off as too available and she'll make you wait before letting you near the goods if she does at all. As you're already validating her with every text you send regardless how funny, witty, c&f you're being.

Take it from a former texter, I've had way more success when I shifted gears and only use it to set up dates.

 

[Boilermaker]

I'm just saying in the realm of texting it's very easy to misunderstand something with absence of emotion. Some guys get a boost of confidence texting and it can bleed into creepy territory. Lost in translation if you will.

That inherently assumes that you care too much about how you are perceived. It is a defeated start. Would a true alpha male really care about what was lost in translation?

When I text someone, I absolutely don't care whether they will reply/when they will reply or how they will reply.

It's usually a snide remark, a proposition, a joke I heard or low frequency dialogue.

It's all about what you expect to get out of texting. If you are trying to text her into your bed, yes, that will be creepy and it won't work.

But claiming that it 'has absolutely nothing efficient' about it is just not true.

 

[Boilermaker]

Texting is a waste of time period. If you like putting in loads of work to get laid then go for it. If a girl doesn't want to meet up or feels uncomfortable unless you incessantly text her than you haven't created enough attraction initially and the more you try to via text, no matter how good your "game" is using that tool, you'll only come off as too available and she'll make you wait before letting you near the goods if she does at all. As you're already validating her with every text you send regardless how funny, witty, c&f you're being.

That's way too paranoid, way too self-conscious and is just plain wrong.
You don't lose points every time you talk to a girl man, seriously.

You need to work on your inner game!

Take it from a former texter, I've had way more success when I shifted gears and only use it to set up dates.

Oh ok. Let me listen to you and give it up altogether. Because your individual experience coupled with your crappy gaming level and inherent insecurities didn't have anything to do with it.

 

[SecondHalf]

Couple good points on this thread.

For a steady, agree, don't do it.
However, not a waste of time.

When I've been busy in the past, between AFC'isms :s ...

... and have too many plates, I've text played a couple into a frenzy with little time spent.

It can be fun, fast and hot for a throw away.

SH

 

[tryst type]

Dear Boilermaker, to each his own. Happy texting

 

[Boilermaker]

agreed

Thanks brother

 

[Colossus]

Oh u guyzzz

I think texting is fine, BUT it can easily be overdone. The problem lies in the absence of nonverbal cues. Expression, inflection, etc. It's a limkted medium that is easily misconstrued, because your inner voice doesnt match her inner voice.

Some girls are huge texters and others give really short responses only. I think its a rough indicator of interest, but not foolproof. My golden rule of texting is to use it only to "tee up" interest or a date...avoid convos.

 

[EastWind]

Dear Boilermaker,

Of course I respect your right to use texting in whichever way you want

However, personally, I'm way past doing something "to get laid". Not that I've slept with that many girls (of even "enough") but in general I've found random lays to be not worth any effort besides doing what I do all the time anyway. Additionally, I find almost every woman has nothing worthwhile to say, save a select few. So firstly, besides not liking the medium "text" in general, I'm not going to use it to talk to shallow girls MORE. And second, I find it's a bad habit altogether to do something "to get girls."

But as tryst type said: happy texting!

 

[zekko]

If you are not a creepy/weird/needy guy at heart, don't worry about coming across like one. Texting is just another avenue for efficient communication and it's the new generation chick's preferred medium. When used properly, it can be extremely effective.

I agree with this.

By the way, it's interesting that some might dismiss texting because it's seen as a woman's preferred medium. "Real men don't text, they use the phone". This is hilarious to me because when I was growing up (in the very distant past), telephones were thought to be a woman's past time. Men made fun of women for talking on the phone for hours on end. Teenage girls were seen to be especially bad offenders.

Personally, I can't stand telephones. Most annoying machine ever invented. It has its purpose, but texting is far less intrusive.