Texting her after sex

[TheCWord]

Old wisdom will tell you that it is important to call (modern day: text) the day after banging, even if it's just a line or two - you want to connect in some way to assure her she hasn't been pumped and dumped. Keep in mind, this wisdom was born around the same time when opening lines were in fashion.

I think, for 2013, with all we know about hamsters, not calling or texting (unless you need to) is optimal. And I dont mean this in a game-y kind of way, like you're ignoring her - I just mean that if you don't have a reason (making plans) to text, then you shouldn't go out of your way to do so just because there is some antiquated belief that exchanging pleasantries the day after is some sort of courtesy.

For me, personally, if I have sex with a girl for the first time - the next time she will hear from me is when I want to make plans for the next date. For a new plate, that's usually once a week. Therefore, if we have our first bang on Saturday, I'll probably only text her on Wednesday to set up plans for the upcoming weekend.

What do you guys think - poor form? I think it is better for her to wonder if I was just using her for sex rather than her get a text from me the next day and have her start dreading, "Oh no, he's not going to start texting all the time just because we had sex? He's not THAT guy is he?

 

[Stagger Lee]

I don't know. I usually never contact the girl for at least several days after hooking up and it usually only results in ONS. I get a sense they assume it was just a ONS and that you're not interested in getting together again. By the time I contact them a few days later they seemed to have moved on to the next guy.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yeah, this is good topic OP. I'm sure there's something about it in the "bible" but times are always changing and everything's up for interpretation.

If I want to see her again I'll usually text the next day. "had a great time last night." As long as I actually did, of course. Not sure if I'm shooting myself in the foot with that one but it hadn't seem to have affected anything. Who knows, it could have had long term repercussions that I wasn't aware of

 

[instantnoodles]

Kinda stupid if you really like a girl, then you most likely wouldn't do that. At least give her some courtesy here and there, but don't over do it. It brings your image of a man up at least, since you probably like her too.

However, if she's just an f-buddy or someone you have casual fun with, who the hell cares? She shouldn't care and neither should YOU.

 

[TheCWord]

But the thing is: I'm texting with, really, nothing to say. "Had a great time last night." I probably already said something along those lines last night (or in the morning, if it was a sleepover). It's kind of an empty text and, while girls on here like noodles will do the usual scoffing about power dynamics, I do wonder if it shifts things into her court...

Think about it. I NEVER send empty, chit-chatty texts. We bang and suddenly my behavior is changing? She might think I'm texting her because A) "he's trying assure me, therefore he care about me - challenge gone." or B) "he liked my vag so much he's now all of a sudden sending fluff texts, perhaps I can now use my vag as a weapon - perhaps I now hold the power."

P&V's right, this is probably in the bible somewhere...

 

[instantnoodles]

Power dynamics? Just what do you mean?

You care too much about power, hence why you even made this thread. Don't EVER turn it around. :crackup:

Well if you care, tell her. That's not something to hold back if you really do. What kind of guy are you then anyway? There are OTHER ways to create a CHALLENGE. THINK! Use your brain! You weren't born with it for nothing.

I suggest you focus on B) if you don't give 2sh1ts. Bring up the date whenever you want to see her and if she says no, next her and forget about it. At least you know you didn't waste "EMPTY" texts on her.

Plus that really is an empty text. If I care about my guy, I would say something like " Thinking about you, honey I miss you " Not "had a great time". Of course I did! I banged his brainz out!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

A) "he's trying assure me, therefore he care about me - challenge gone." or B) "he liked my vag so much he's now all of a sudden sending fluff texts, perhaps I can now use my vag as a weapon - perhaps I now hold the power."

C) "is that the standard text he sends to all his women?" "he texted me but didn't say when he wants to see me next" "does he even want to see me again?" "Is he just texting me because he feels he has to say something, does he even really mean it??"

You know they over-analyze everything. The only time they don't is when they don't care. If for some reason, I'm getting that feeling, and/or even though we banged it wasn't that great, then I just won't send anything.

And, of course, If I drop them off, or we have breakfast, coffee, have some type of discussion in the morning, then by no means would I text them.

Well if you care, tell her. That's not something to hold back if you really do.

It's official. You're a woman. Noodles, you're contradicting DJ 101 material.

 

[instantnoodles]

C) "is that the standard text he sends to all his women?" "he texted me but didn't say when he wants to see me next" "does he even want to see me again?" "Is he just texting me because he feels he has to say something, does he even really mean it??"

You know they over-analyze everything. The only time they don't is when they don't care. If for some reason, I'm getting that feeling, and/or even though we banged it wasn't that great, then I just won't send anything.

And, of course, If I drop them off, or we have breakfast, coffee, have some type of discussion in the morning, then by no means would I text them.



It's official. You're a woman. Noodles, you're contradicting DJ 101 material.

Do read my post again. I did include the man's side AND the woman's side. :0

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Plus that really is an empty text. If I care about my guy, I would say something like " Thinking about you, honey I miss you " Not "had a great time". Of course I did! I banged his brainz out!

I see what you did there Noodles. My post inspired you.

" Thinking about you, honey I miss you "

Although, these are the kinds of texts guys like to see. If I got this the day after a ONS....I might be running for the hills.

 

[instantnoodles]

I see what you did there Noodles. My post inspired you.


Although, these are the kinds of texts guys like to see. If I got this the day after a ONS....I might be running for the hills.

Well it's meant for my S.O Lolll yeah don't do it after ONS